The Prankster God of Huecco Mundo
by AnisoulJ93
Summary: Ichigo and Rukia have a run in with what is quite possibly the weirdest Hollow ever. The problem? It won't leave them alone! Rated T just to be safe.
1. The first act on stage

**And here we have a brand new story. I couldn't decided wether to write a Naruto fic, or a Bleach fic, so i decided to do both1XD Enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: I own neither Bleach nor Naruto. I do own a smelly shoe though.**

To Rukia Kuchiki, modern day humans often seemed to be an eternal mystery. But after having spent a whole week trapped in the human world, she was finally starting believe she had managed to figure them out. But as fate would have it, she was thrown for a loop once again, when she arrived at Karakura high alongside Ichigo to find the entire place had been painted orange and pink. If the dazzling and bright colours weren't enough there were black and white spirals painted here and there all over the building, and from every window hung a string of underwear, belonging to both male and female slowly flapping in the wind. Directly in front of her across from the main school gate and painted onto the side of the now pink central building was a cartoon stylized red fox head. Its right eye was closed in a wink while it's left was wide open with a blue pupil. Its mouth was happy and open with a tongue that curled upwards and was hanging from its mouth. Beside the head was a furry red hand with its thumb stuck up.

Rukia heard a groan coming from the orange haired boy who was standing beside her.

"Not again."

Rukia nodded her head in agreement.

"While I do feel that the school could use some brightening up and lighter colours to make it more child friendly for those learning there, I do think the underwear is a little inappropriate," Commented Rukia, her right hand on her chin and her left on her hip in a thinking pose.

"What? No Rukia, this wasn't planned out by the school. For as long as anyone in Karakura can remember weird stuff like this has happened. And whoever does it always leaves that picture of a fox behind too." Explained Ichigo crossing his arms with a huff.

Rukia's eyes widened a fraction at Ichigo's words as her mind considered the possibilities of what this could mean. But before she had time to comment on her thoughts someone rudely barged past her. Ichigo's hand quickly extended and caught her arm before she could hit the floor. He was about to turn around and yell at whoever had barged past until he noticed the tacky brown suit the guy was wearing. He was a teacher.

"My… my underwear," came the teacher's stuttering words, his eyes comically wide.

"Mine too!"

This time a female teacher came forward, her mouth agape with disbelief at the sight of her bra and panties dangling from a window. Pretty soon all the teachers were there, even Miss Ochi muttering in disbelief at the sight of their undergarments hanging from the school windows. They didn't seem to notice the school kids that had crowded round them, one of which had yet to learn any tact during her short period of stay in the human world.

"Wait," said Rukia, "If all of their underwear is hanging from the windows, then what are they wearing?"

Her words caused a sudden wave of silence to spread out over the teachers and students alike. Slowly, the male teachers looked at the female ones, most of whom were now blushing and covering their chests and groin areas with their arms, despite the fact they were wearing clothes. The rest were glaring back at the male teachers as if daring them to comment.

"And we're going," said Ichigo, quickly grabbing Rukia and hurrying past the teachers and into the school.

The rest of the day was more or less a normal boring school day, although it took an extra hour and a half for school to start while all the teachers received their undergarments from the windows. The students were off course constantly giggling at the embarrassed looks on their teacher's faces, or the slap marks on the faces of a few of the male teachers.

"They're taking it rather well," stated Rukia during Lunch. "Someone had to know where all of the teachers lived in order to pull this off. Plus they had to break into all their houses."

Ichigo just shrugged, too busy eating his sandwich. After gulping it down he answered.

"Like I said, it's happened for as long as anyone can remember. I'm talking hundreds of years here, so it's everyone's guess that it's like a family business, except there's no family that's stuck to Karakura that long. But it's just considered normal now I guess. It happens at least twice a year. Last time they somehow installed popcorn machines to all the cars, and the engine would heat the popcorn. You're driving along when suddenly the bonnet blasts open and popcorn starts flying everywhere. Covered all the streets. Luckily the popcorn always got stuck in the engine, so the car would start to conk out before it happened, so it didn't cause any accidents."

Rukia nodded before returning to her meal. After finishing of an apple she passed her juice carton to Ichigo who seemingly on instinct alone took it from her, popped the straw in and gave it back. This did not go unnoticed by either Keigo or Mizuro, who were on the roof with them.

"Ichigo what was that!" screamed Keigo whilst pointing an accusing finger. "Since when were the two of you so in sync! Oh by the gods has he corrupted my poor sweet Rukia? No! I will save her from this vile orange barbarian and with my love heal her pure sweet innoce-"

He got no further in his speech due to Ichigo's foot slamming rather harshly into his face. When Ichigo removed his foot it was to reveal Keigo's bruised face and bleeding nose. The teen proceeded to fall backwards, seemingly unconscious.

"Such an idiot," stated Mizuro in seeming disinterest, as he munched into a salad sandwich.

"Hey!" shouted, Keigo, shooting back onto his feet. "Is that anyway to refer to your poor and beaten best friend!"

Mizuro calmly finished his sandwich before stating, "You seem fine to me."

And so Lunch proceeded thus, with Keigo making an idiot of himself, and Ichigo occasionally putting him down. Soon after school ended, and the group of friends, now including Tatsuki, Orihime and Chad left the school. Curiously all of the teachers were all once again outside, looking at a single window.

"Has no one claimed those yet?" asked one of the teachers.

The group, wandering what they were talking about looked up at a window on the right side of the central building to see a set of particularly lacy underwear still waving about outside the window.

"So whose is it?" came the voice of a male teacher.

"Well it's not mine."

"Mine neither?"

"Did anyone not come in today?"

"No, everyone's here."

"But if it's not any of ours then?"

And as one the entire female teacher population turned their heads to stare at the male teachers.

"And we're going," said Ichigo, before racing off, swiftly followed by the rest of his friends.

Ichigo and Rukia were now getting ready for bed. Rukia was still thinking about what Ichigo had told her earlier today.

* * *

"It's_ been going on for centuries? Could it perhaps be a spirit? But they don't have enough spiritual pressure to manipulate solid objects so it couldn't be that? A shinigami? But the shinigami who are posted here only stay for a decade at the very most before being swapped out. Plus right now I'm the shinigami representative here. Could it perhaps be… a hollow?"_

Now that was a strange thought. A prank playing hollow. But if that were the case surely the soul society would have been aware of it. And her beeper didn't go of last night. Almost like it was reading her thoughts a sudden beeping noise came from her phone.

"Ichigo!" she yelled swiftly yanking her cupboard door open to reveal the orange haired teen just preparing to put his pyjama bottoms on.

For a second there was complete silence, before Ichigo quickly put his legs through the le holes and pulled his pj's up

"W-w-what are you doing," stammered Rukia.

"Getting dressed," replied Ichigo with a scowl. "Remember, that's why you closed the cupboard door in the first place.

"Oh right," replied Rukia before putting her serious face back on. "look we don't have time for that right now. A hollow's been detected."

The hollow curiously enough was located right outside their school. But when they arrived there they couldn't see any trace of a hollow, although…

"Ichigo, all the paints gone!" exclaimed Rukia loudly and pointing to the now spotless school.

"Oh yeah," says Ichigo, noticing what she was pointing too and turning to face the building. "That's the other reason no one cares about the pranks too much. Whatever damage they do is always gone by the next day. People used to stay up and watch out for whoever was behind it to show up, but well, no one ever saw the prankster, not even the security tapes," Ichigo told her, curious himself as to how this prankster achieved this.

"Yeah well it's kind of hard to spot a ghost right?" came a voice from behind the two.

Both of them quickly turned around, Ichigo's hand already on the handle of his zanpakuto. His eyes widened in surprise at the sight of what was in front of him. The guy was a hollow. He could feel it. But there didn't really seem to be anything marking him out as such. There was no mask covering his face. The eyes were bright and lively, a deep sapphire blue that spoke of warmth rather than the usual bloodlust he saw in hollows. His skin was tanned and spiky blond hair fell about his head. On each cheek were three whisker marks. His clothes were strange though. He wore a long beige hooded cloak which fell to his ankles, although with the way he was standing his right arm and leg were visible, showing the guy wore fingerless black gloves, with the forearms covered in white tape. He also wore baggy brown bottoms which were tapped around the ankle. He wore no socks, no shoes and no shirt, although there was more tape wrapped around his midesection. Around his neck hung a loose white ring which looked like it was made of bone. The front part of the ring was slightly bigger and formed what looked like a plate, into which a stylized leaf seemed to have been carved and then gone over in black ink. They also noticed a sword that hung from the guys left hip. The handle was covered in red cloth and the hilt seemed to jut out in several directions. A small chain was attached to the bottom of the sword. He didn't look very old, about twenty at the very most.

Rukia frowned.

"You're a hollow," she stated rather than asked. Even with her shinigami powers missing for the most part, she could sense it too.

The blond grinned at her. A wide grin that didn't look right on the face of a hollow. It was friendly and seemed to lack any malice at all.

"Yep," he stated. But offered no more. After waiting a few seconds and getting nothing Ichigo decided to ask the next question.

"Who are you?"

"Finally," shouted the blond, causing both Shinigami to jump a little in anticipation of an attack. But then the blond began hopping backwards away from them. "I was starting to think you'd never ask! Very well, since you obviously want to know my true identity so badly I will tell you!"

The blond hopped on one foot and placed a foot in front of him in a stylized kabuki stance.

"In the sands and forests of Hueco Mundo I am the one whose name is spoken only in hushed tones and voices filled with awe. Whether you go north, east, south or west you have to but merely speak my name to have the men huddled on the ground in fear and the woman running and calling my name with lust in their eyes. I am the great artist whose name is known throughout the desert. The prankster god of Hueco Mundo, Naruto Uzumaki. That is my name, believe it!"

No sooner had he finished he had to jump back to avoid the oncoming blade of one Ichigo Kurosaki.

"Hey watch it, you could poke someone's eye out with that thing," Yelled Naruto shaking his fist at Ichigo.

"I don't care, you're really annoying," bit back Ichigo, trying to restrain a need to screen. "Rukia what do we do?"

She frowned, looking Naruto up and down. "However human he looks, and however stupid he acts he is a hollow. Cut him down so that his soul may be cleansed."

Ichigo grinned and was about to close in on the blond when said blond held his hand up.

"Hey wait let's think about this. If you kill me I'll go to soul society right? Do you really want me to be running around there? I mean it's not that I don't want to go. It's always been a dream of mine to prank the head captain, but I'd really rather not be stuck there you know. Right now I'm free to do my own thing, and I'm loving that. So let's put the giant butter knife down and just have a chat yeah?"

Ichigo's eye twitched, hearing how the blond referred to his sword but even so he did stop. After all this guy was, somewhat sane. Surely he had a right to decide if he'd prefer to stay as he is. He didn't seem dangerous at the very least. In fact he seemed kind of harmless.

"What you'd rather do is not the issue here," commented Rukia. "You are a hollow. No matter how idiotic you act it remains a fact that you have to eat souls in order to continue your existence. We cannot allow that to continue. Ichigo you must slay him."

Ichigo frowned but nodded. "Right."

Fixing his eyes on the blond who now had a scared look on his face, he ran straight forward. Hefting his blade over his head he brought it down quickly, slashing the blond in half-length ways. But just as he was about to put away his blade after a job well done the two half's of the blond poofed away.

"Hey what the hell! Do you just attack every hollow you meet like that!"

Ichigo could feel his eye twitching from the sound of the annoying voice coming from behind him.

"As a matter of fact," he said, before rocketing off in the direction the voice came from. He brought his sword around with the intention of cutting the blonds head off, but the boy quickly ducked and the blade skimmed over his head, slicing off a few wisps of hair.

"Hey this is criminal! And why is that sword so damn big anyway?"

This time Ichigo brought the blade crashing straight down. However unlike last time the blond seemed to have no problem dodging as he simply hopped to his left before grinning at Ichigo.

"You compensating for something?"

Feeling a level of rage he hadn't felt since he confronted the grand fissure, Ichigi grit his teeth and swiped sideways at the blond with all the strength and speed he could muster. Naruto's response was to jump up and tuck his knees in to his chest, before doing a backflip and allowing the blade to pass just under him. But when he landed…

"Gaah, I can't see anything," came the muffled voice of the blond. His cloak had come over his head when he did the flip and he was now clawing at it to remove it. Seeing his chance Ichigo continued his assault and cleaved the hollow in half at the waist. Except once again the two separate pieces just poofed away.

"Hey, that probably really hurt you know!" screamed Naruto from his position on one of the roof tops.

"What is with this guy," grumbled Ichigo, as he got his sword at the ready once again.

"He is strange," agreed Rukia. "He has had several chances to escape now but he has not even attempted to do so."

"Yeah," agreed Ichigo. "And I thought he was weak but, he's not having any trouble at all dodging me, and he hasn't even drawn his sword yet."

But, never one to be deterred Ichigo charged forward again the second he finished talking. He took another swipe at the blond who casually flipped over his head, landing on his feet behind Ichigo. Seeing that Ichigo may need some help to land a direct hit on the tricky hollow Rukia began chanting.

"O Lord, Mask of blood and flesh, all creation, flutter wings, you who bears the name of Man, Inferno and Pandemonium, the sea barrier surges, March on to the south! Hado thirty one Shakkaho!"

Rukia fired the blast of red energy at Naruto's feet, who of course jumped into the air.

"Nowhere to run Hollow," came the voice from behind Naruto. His eyes widened at the sight of Ichigo, his blade over his head and ready to bring it down. "This ends now!"

Ichigo swung his zanpakuto into Naruto's shoulder with all the strength he could muster. What followed was not the spray of black blood he had come to expect from hollows. Instead there was a loud cracking sound and then…

Ichigo's blade shattered at the point it hit Naruto's shoulder, the top half of the blade clattering to the ground below. Ichigo could only stare in disbelief at the completely unharmed hollow, and the now useless sword in his hand. He had no time at all to react as Naruto flipped in mid-air and planted a foot into his face, sending him sailing away and crashing though someone's front gate. Naruto landed softly just a few feet away from Rukia.

"Ah sorry, sorry," he said whilst waving his right hand. "I haven't had a fight in a while and I'm a little rusty. I hope I didn't hit him too hard."

Grunting and in pain Ichigo soon got up and hobbled back out into the road, much to Rukia's relief.

"Ah that's good," said Naruto, apparently happy about something. "Even while it's broken you're still keeping hold of your blade."

He gestured to the Zanpakuto that Ichigo was still holding.

"No worries though. Your Zanpakuto is still sealed so it'll regenerate eventually. Faster if you pack some reishi into it."

"You seem rather well versed in the function of a Zanpakuto," commented Rukia from the side with what sounded like worry in her voice.

"Well duh," replied Naruto. "After all I've got one too see,"

He waved his sword, still in its orange scabbard. In response Rukia let out a gasp.

"That's a Zanpakuto!" she gasped at the realization.

"Yep," chirped the blond happily. "Proper one too. Most Arrancers don't get that, they just get special swords that hold all their powers. But mines a true and through Zanpakuto. Lazy git's almost always asleep though. I wander if having a proper zanpaukto means I'm not an arrancer? Maybe I should think up a different name for a species I can be?"

Rukia wasn't really listening though. How could a Hollow have a Zanpakuto. It didn't make any sense. And that other word he said. Arrancars. He made it sound like they all have Zanpakuto's. But what could that mean?"

"Umm hello, you in there? Hey shorty, listen to me."

Rukia's head snapped up faster than either of the present males could tracked kicked Naruto between the legs. Which as she was about to find out was a mistake.

"OWW!" she screamed before taking her leg back and hopping around on one foot whilst massaging her other now bruised one.

"Yeah see that's not a good idea. Thanks to my hierro I literally have balls of steel," explained the blond hollow, apparently not at all bothered by Rukia's attempt to inflict intense physical agony. But then Ichigo had been trying to kill him and he didn't seem too bothered by that either.

"Hey, get away from Rukia!" cried Ichigo, as he hobbled over and placed himself between Rukia and Naruto.

Naruto frowned.

"You know, you two are assholes. I've been nothing but nice to you, answered all your questions, and in return you've tried to kill me and prevent me from having kids in the future. If I can have kids. Which being a ghost I really don't know about. Anyway point is I was hoping we could be friends, but with friends like you I wouldn't need enemies. So later. I'm out of here."

And like that the blond was gone. Simply disappeared into thin air, leaving a blinking Ichigo who was wandering what the hell just happened and a tearful Rukia who was still nursing her foot.

**Well that's all for now. Look forward to chapter 2.**


	2. Mean spirits like Ramen

**HI huys. It's chapter 2. Do not expect all updates to be this fast. I have a few chapters written out before hand, but my Beta, the epic Silver-chan (SSJ2silven) still has to get through them. after the first five chapters, unless I've got some more down I will probably slow down a bit with the update speed unless there is a crapload of interest shown. Speaking of which, thirty odd reviews and eighty favourites and followers for the first chapter, not bad at all I got to say.**

**Disclaimer: I own Naruto and Bleach. I OWN IT ALL! IT'S ALL MINE! In this dream I had the other night. **

"**BO HA HA HA HA!"**

Ichigo's eyebrow twitched. He could literally not believe this. This stupid laugh that had been following him everywhere. This laugh that he thought he could at least escape while he was hunting hollows. But no, apparently even among the hollows, Don Kanoji had fans.

"Spirits are always with you!" cried the blond hollow in front of him.

Ichigo was slowly drawing the sword from his back, hoping not to spook the hollow before he cleaved it in two. Alas it was not to be.

"Hey, what are you drawing your sword for? I thought you would have figured it out by now. You can't cut me!"

Ichigo growled. His sword had only just reformed after Rukia had taught him how to fix it. He'd been fighting with half a blade for the last week. And just when it was finally fixed, the blond hollow had popped up in front of him again. Even worse it was doing Don Kanoji's evil laugh thing. He was even doing the pose.

"Look, if there's nothing you want, then leave. I'm not in the mood to deal with you," grunted Ichigo.

"Well yes, actually there is. You see, I was not aware when I made that last prank that we would be getting a celebrity coming to this town. Obviously I jumped the gun and I don't have enough time to plan and make another elaborate prank. Therefor I'm going to need your help!" said Naruto proudly, a hand on his hip and a finger pointing at Ichigo. This actually allowed Ichigo to see what Naruto looked like under the cloak. Of course Ichigo had no real interest in the male body but he couldn't help but notice the scars that seemed to litter Naruto. The thing was they were scars which looked like they had healed much better than they should have. They were more like pale blotches of skin than scars. But the strange thing was Naruto's hollow hole. It was on the right side of Naruto's chest rather than in the centre like most hollows. But on top of that there were pale lines that seemed to flicker around the hole like flickering lightning. He had a feeling that hollow hole was running straight through a rather large scar on his chest.

'Well at least I know he's definitely a hollow,' he thought.

"Look I've got better stuff to do than help you play pranks. Go and bother someone else."

Naruto frowned.

"Aww don't say that. The only other people I can bother are that girl you were with and your little sister."

Suddenly Ichigo's sword was at his throat.

"How do you know about Karin," snarled Ichigo, his eyes narrowed and ready to kill. Naruto just hopped away from the blade and threw his arms out to the side, his palms facing upwards and flicking his cloak upwards at the same time.

"I'm Naruto Uzumaki, the prankster God of Huecco Mundo! I know everything!"

Ichigo could feel his rage reaching new heights.

"Just answer the damned question."

Naruto dropped his arms but his smile never wavered. His smile really bothered Ichigo. A smile like that just didn't belong on a hollow. It was like Yuzu's. Warm and friendly, but bigger.

"She's one of the only people in this town who can hear me. So I've spoke to her once or twice. I don't think she's realized I'm a ghost though. Just a weirdo who bothers her occasionally."

Ichigo just scowled at him, clearly getting aggravated by Naruto's shenanigans.

"Stay away from my sister," he warned.

"But I can talk to her," pouted Naruto. "You're no fun."

Ichigo didn't reply but he did put his sword away.

"How long have you been here?" he asked genuinely curious. After all, his pranks have been reported for centuries. Of course he should have guessed an immortal monster in human form was behind it.

"About five minutes, why?" asked Naruto with a raised eyebrow.

"I didn't mean the park. I meant Karakura," responded Ichigo with his trademark scowl.

Naruto put a finger on his lip and pulled it down a bit. Ichigo guessed it was his thinking pose.

"I dunno. I was born here like, a long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long time ago. Huecco Mundo's really boring and there's no one fun to prank there, so I come here two or three times a year to see how everything's changed. It was really weird at first. I came here and most of the forests were gone. And then people started fighting again. They were killing each other and eventually castles and stuff were built. And then the castles were torn down and they started building roads and stuff. But people are a lot weaker now than they used to be. When I was alive Hollows couldn't do much too living souls because they were too strong. There were occasional reports of people getting torn up by invisible monsters, but back then things like that weren't that rare so, a lot of people knew how to fight them and didn't think much of it. Never actually saw the hollows of course, just launched gigantic fire balls at the invible people and hoped it hit"

Ichigo was actually listening with rapt attention. This hollow was alive before… everything. Before Japanese history was recorded. That's like at least two thousand years old. And he'd been here ever since.

"So you're like super old then," said Ichigo. "Explains how you're so strong I guess."

Naruto nodded, his happy expression back on his face.

"Yup. So then are you going to help me with that prank? How about we discuss it over a bowl of ramen?"

Ichigo blanched.

"Hollows eat ramen?"

Naruto shrugged.

"Dunno, but I do."

They didn't get any further though because a wave of blue energy crashed into Naruto from behind. He was sent hurtling across the park they were in, his face digging into the ground.

"Ichigo, what are you doing?" came Rukia's voice as she hurried over to him. She stopped in front of him panting lightly. "What's going on? Did he attack you?"

Ichigo frowned at her.

"No, he did that annoying laugh you and everyone else in the class have been doing all week then invited me to eat Ramen."

Rukia raised an eyebrow.

"Hollow's can't eat Ramen."

"Hey what was that for you violent shorty," screamed Naruto, suddenly popping up in front of her. Rukia acted on instinct and punched him in the face. Just popping up like that reminded her way to much of Isshin. However she had completely forgotten about Naruto's iron skin.

"Oww!" cried Rukia retracting her hand. Naruto blinked. Then he jumped up triumphantly.

"Yeeees! Violent girls I fear you no longer! My anti violent girl skin cannot be beaten by your tiny fists!"

Rukia glared at him, blinking back a few tears from the pain in her hand. The she held her hands in front of her.

"Scattered beast bones! Spire, Crimson Crystal, Steel Wheels! The wind if it moves, the sky if it stops, the tone of the spear striking fills the lone castle! Hadou number sixty three! Raikouhou!"

A blot of yellow lightning flew from Rukia's fingertips and shot straight into Naruto's face. He barely had enough time to be surprised before he was sent backwards flipping over himself. The attack hadn't pierced his skin but it did still pack a punch.

Ichigo probably would have found this amusing if Rukia hadn't of collapsed straight afterwards.

"Rukia, are you alright?" he asked worriedly.

Rukia nodded.

"That attack's still too much for me. That blow didn't even contain ten percent of the power it should have."

Ichigo's eyes flickered over to Naruto who was only now getting up. That was less than a tenth of the full power? He sure as hell hoped she never tried to use it on him after she regained her powers. He looked up to notice Naruto was once again next to them.

"You know what mister shinigami. I'll just leave you and your girlfriend alone. I think she was getting jealous. Later."

Before Ichigo could yell at him Naruto was gone again.

"Damnit, how does he do that."

* * *

To Ichigo's absolute horror he was forced to go along to Don Kanoji's event along with his family. And also to his horror, Don Kanoji got into a fight with Naruto. Don Kanoji could actually see ghosts. Which meant he could see the ghost that was bound to the hospital. Sadly he didn't have a clue about how to exercise a ghost, and was trying to wrench off the chain in the bound souls chest. Ichigo was doing his best to intervene even with everyone trying to hold him beck when he heard a sudden cry.

"**DYNAMIC ENTRY!"**

Naruto came out of nowhere and drop kicked Kanoji in the face, sending him flying into the crowd. And then Naruto noticed the camera.

"Oh, oh I know what that does. I wander if anyone can see me? Yahoo, I'm here, the great Naruto Uzumaki Prankster God of huecco Mundo. Feast your eyes world on the greatness that is me!"

"What the, it's that weird guy. What the hell's he doing?" came Karin's voice from somewhere beside Ichigo.

"Hey you, what are you doing interfering sunny," shouted Don Kanoji in his loud booming voice.

"Ooh what's this? Don Kanoji just seemed to get attacked by a mysterious force!" came the voice of the commentator.

"What mysterious force? He just got drop kicked by Naruto," commented Karin dryly.

"Ooooh I see how it is. You're a ghost I see. I couldn't tell straight away, since you look remarkably solid. I see you must be here to protect the other mean spirit."

"Mean spirit?" asked Naruto in confusion. "You mean this guy? Does he look like a hollow to you? No, and if a guy's screaming then that obviously means that whatever you're doing hurts."

"Oh I see, it seems we have a misunderstanding. Bo Ha Ha Ha Ha," replied Don Kanoji. "I was just helping that spirit to pass on to the next life. Wait in line boy, I'll help you out next."

But Naruto frowned.

"Umm, your method seems to include ripping out a souls emotions by yanking their chains off. Do you see a chain on me? No so obviously that's not going to work. And passing on is supposed to be a peaceful experience not a painful one. If you're making them scream then you're obviously doing it wrong. What are you an idiot? Wait don't answer that I can tell by how you dress."

Ichigo actually let out a sigh of relief. Looks like the Hollow was actually going to help them.

"And besides that I prepared a biiiig prank for you inside the hospital. So if you want to carry on torturing this spirit you're going to have to come get him."

And with that Naruto threw the spirit over his shoulder and jumped all the way to the second floor window, disappearing inside the hospital.

"Ichigo," Rukia called after him. "You have to go and help. That Hollow could eat the spirits soul, you have to save it.

Somehow Ichigo seriously doubted that Naruto would do that. But he couldn't take the chance.

"Right!"

Question was he needed a way to separate his soul from his body.

"Maybe I could be of assistance."

"What?" asked Ichigo before the butt of a walking stick poked his head, and his soul separated from his body and fell forwards. The guards who had been holding Ichigo back were shocked when the boy suddenly collapsed. Ichigo looked back to see Urahara standing there grinning at him.

"Hat and clogs," he gasped in surprise.

"Don't stand there gasping Ichigo. Go save that plus," said Uruhara with a grin and a shooing gesture.

Ichigo nodded before turning around and running after Don Kanoji into the hospital.

Inside was… not what Ichigo had been expecting. He was lucky that Don Kanoji went in first. It let him avoid the bucket of slime and oil that had been perched above the door. As well as the skate the Don Kanoji had fallen onto and carried him to the end of the corridor and dumped him into a pile of Hay covered in feathers.

"Wow, he wasn't kidding," said Ichigo out loud. This allowed Don Kanoji to notice him for the first time. His head pumped up from inside the pile of hay. The glasses seem to have saved his eye sight. Since none of the oil and stuff had gotten into his eyes.

"Ooh who are you? Another spirit? Wait there, and I will help you to pass on as well!" he boomed.

"I'm not a spirit, I'm a shinigami," replied Ichigo in an annoyed voice.

"Ehh, yeah okay kid, whatever you say. You just wait there and I'll be right back as soon as I've saved that poor spirit."

Don Kanoji quickly extracted himself from the pile tacking no notice of the hay and feathers that were covering him. He raced around another corner. A moment later there was a yell indicating that he'd set of another trap. Ichigo just gave a sigh and followed.

By the time they got to the roof where Naruto was waiting Don Kanoji had managed to set of just about every single trap Naruto had set up on the way there. As well as Hay and feathers Don Kanoji had been forced to lose his jacket and hat, as well as his glasses after the hat was set on fire, the jacket was shredded and the glasses were covered in feathers. Ichigo was just amazed at how none of the seemingly lethal traps were actually lethal.

Finally the pair stood in front of Naruto who was… playing cards with with the spirit he kidnapped.

"Goldfish!" cried Naruto happily. The spirits eye brows trembled and he gritted his teeth.

"It's go-fish… AND WE'RE PLAYING POKER!"

"Oh," said Naruto, scratching his head, before crying out just as cheerfully, "POKER!"

The spirit just sighed.

"Just show me your hand," he said. Naruto did, revealing four kings and an ace.

"God damnit!" shouted the spirit, throwing his cards away, crossing his arms and pouting.

Ichigo had to take a moment to get over the sheer stupidity he just witnessed. Kanoji did not.

"There you are, evil spirit. I, Don Kanoji challenge you to combat. And upon my victory, you will allow me send both yourself and your companion on to the next life."

"Very well then!" shouted Naruto as he stood up, placing closed fists on his hips. "If you can defeat me I will repent my evil ways and release my hostage over to you. But if you cannot then you must pay for my Ramen for the rest of the month. Bwa ha ha ha ha!"

Apparently Naruto had decided to not try to convince Don Kanoji any further, and was now quite content to play the villain. Then a certain thought occurred to Ichigo.

"Wait a second, how do you get your Ramen normally? You're a ghost so the store owners can't see you."

"Eh," replied Naruto while scratching his head. "I just nag your sister till she buys it for me. Before that I'd nag your mother. Umm can't remember what I did before that though."

Ichigo's breath hitched. This hollow knew his _mother! _And what's more his mother could see ghosts! Well that explains where he got it from. He certainly didn't get it from old goat face.

"Well then come Heroes, let us do battle," said Naruto enthusiastically, whilst making a 'come hither motion with his hand.

While Ichigo was trying to think when exactly he'd agreed to fight, Don Kanoji charged forward.

"I'll finish you off in one blow!" howled Kanoji as he went to spear the hollow with his staff. But then he stopped.

"Okay so where's your chain and hole?"

Ichigo actually face faulted. Naruto however just grinned and shifted his arm in a grand gesture. This caused his cloak to fly to the side revealing his hollow hole on the right side of his chest.

"What!" cried Don Kanoji, adopting a panic pose with his hands on his cheeks and his legs bent at the knees. "Your chain's already gone, so why haven't you passed on?"

"Ha, ha. You rhymed, I like that. And as for your question, well maybe I'll tell you when you're buying me my ramen!"

Naruto started to charge at Don Kanoji who got back into a battle ready position. Seeing that he might as well join in, Ichigo ran straight past Kanoji to meet with the charging Naruto.

"Hey kid, what you doing? This is my show!" cried Kanoji. He actually pointed to the helicopter that was in the air filming, which Ichigo had somehow managed to completely miss.

"Right you are!" chirped Naruto. Then he did the last thing Ichigo was expecting. He grabbed his sword and held it down so it was horizontal between them. Then he thrust it forward, digging the pommel of Ichigo's blasé into his stomach. Ichigo was practically knocked of his feet, but he didn't let go of his blade. But then neither did Naruto who swung it with Ichigo still hanging on, throwing both Ichigo and his sword of the hospital roof. Ichigo managed to regain his footing in mid-air, skidding on the reishi he'd managed to gather at his feet to stay in the air. Ichigo honestly had no idea how he does this, it was just something instinctual. Naruto took this opportunity to attack Kanoji himself.

"Here I come," he yelled happily before jumping high into the air. He came down heading straight at Kanoji. His legs were bent and he obviously intended to land on the man. Kanoji dived to the side as Naruto landed, the force of his impact causing cracks to appear along the roof.

Ichigo used this time to get back in the fight. He darted towards Naruto and swung his blade across, hoping to cut the blond in two. But at the last second another Naruto seemed to appear out of nowhere and pull the first Naruto to the floor, allowing Ichigo's blade to fly harmlessly overhead. If that wasn't enough, Naruto kicked his back legs out, ploughing them into Ichigo's stomach and sending the poor boy flying of the hospital roof once again.

"Damnit this mean spirits really strong!" shouted Don Kanoji, no doubt so that the cameraman could somehow hear him over the sound of the helicopters rotating blades. "I think I'll have to resort to my special technique!"

Naruto stood up fully alert when he heard Kanoji say this. Genuinely curious as to what he was going to do, he dismissed the clone next to him with a poof and waited for Kanoji to move.

"Haaaaahoooooo…" Kanoji chanted, both his palms facing towards Naruto. "Take this, special cannon!"

Two small flickering balls of light appeared in each hand. With a flick of his wrist he sent them flying towards Naruto… at an incredibly slow speed.

Both Naruto and Ichigo, who had returned to the roof after hearing Kanoji's yelling, watched in fascination as the two flickering balls of light slowly approached Naruto. And then it began to drop. Going lower and lower until the first one hit the ground right next to Naruto's right foot. There was a small explosion that blasted bits of rock into Naruto's face, and then a second explosion. When the smoke cleared, Naruto's foot was revealed to have fallen into a newly created hole in the roof, and he was having a bit of trouble getting it out.

"Chance!" screamed Kanoji. He darted forwards with his staff held next to his head like a baseball player would hold his bat, and then as he approached Naruto he swung, cracking the staff over Naruto's head. Literally.

Don Kanoji eyed his staff with a small sense of wander, before looking over at Ichigo.

"Quick ghostly swordsman. I have created an opening, finish him off with your giant blade."

Ichigo felt his eye twitch, but before he could even move to attempt what Kanoji had suggested, Naruto removed his foot from the hole with seemingly no problem at all, and slammed his heel into Kanoji's stomach, knocking the man away. Then he jumped backwards and attempted an over-head kick on Ichigo, which Ichigo blocked with his sword. Things did not end there, as Naruto brought another foot crashing down towards Ichigo.

A sudden image of his sword being shattered again appeared in Ichigo's mind, causing him to wisely move out of the way of the attack rather than try and block it like the last one. Naruto's attack missed and he was off balance. Ichigo decided to take the opportunity to smack Naruto over the head with his sword, but the blond had already vanished from sight when he attempted it. It was through instinct alone that he brought his blade to his side in time to defend from another vicious kick Naruto had sent at him. The force was still enough to send him skidding back along the roof though.

'He seems to rely on his legs rather than his arms,' thought Ichigo, before the blond hollow was back on him, and he was forced to dodge another kick. He decided to play it safe for now and attack when he had an opening.

Naruto was having fun. Ichigo and the moustache guy were fun to play with. The orange shinigami had never introduced himself, or if he did then Naruto wasn't paying attention at the time, but with him and his short girlfriend screaming each other's name all the time it wasn't hard to figure out. Plus he knew the names of everyone of the Kurosaki family anyway. Of course he was holding back against Ichigo. He was a lot stronger than he was letting on, so he decided for now he'd stick to his legs when attacking Ichigo. If he was to start punching at him as well he might accidentally kill the kid, and he didn't want that.

Ichigo gave a roar as he charged at Naruto once again, bringing his blade down in an overhead swing. Naruto dodged (hoped) to the side, allowing the sword to swing through the place he was just occupying, embedding the sword deeply into the roof.

"Damnit," muttered Ichigo as he tried to pull the sword out of the roof, only to be forced to duck and then let go of his sword as Naruto's foot swung through the air where his face had just been and then he'd brought a heel down where Ichigo's wrist was. Since Ichigo moved out of the way, the heel instead ploughed straight into the ground, causing tiles to crack underneath it and by extension of that releasing Ichigo's Zanpakuto from its confinement.

"Well would you look at that," said Naruto happily as he bent down and picked up the large sword, before swinging it around in front of him as if it weighed next to nothing. "Well Ichigo I think it's time I taught you why it's not a good idea to try and randomly kill hollows with your sword. They might just try and kill you right back!"

Wasting no more words Naruto ran forward towards Ichigo, holding the sword over his head like an angry villager does a pitch fork while screaming with a childish joy.

Ichigo's face paled as he watched the Hollow charge at him, clearing the space between them at a rather high speed. Ichigo dived to the side just as Naruto… ran right past him.

"Oh crap," muttered Ichigo as he realised that Naruto's target was actually Don Kanoji. The man let out an eep before scrabbling to his feet. He started charging another one of his special cannons, although he looked very tired now, and was obviously approaching his limit. He stopped though when Ichigo's sword was suddenly hurled at him, burying itself into the ground in front of Don Kanoji and causing the man to let out a terrified yell before falling back on his ass. Naruto wasn't done though. He appeared out of thin air directly in front of Kanoji and shoved the man onto his back with his foot. Don Kanoji hit the ground with in oof, before Naruto appeared bending over him with a foot planted on his throat. He gave Kanoji a dazzling grin.

"You lose. How bout we get that Ramen now?"

Ichigo gave a sigh before going to select his sword. It had been put pretty firmly into the ground, and it took a good few yanks on Ichigo's part to retrieve it. Don Kanoji noticed Ichigo reclaim his blade and waited with bated breath for him to launch a sneak attack on Naruto and get the cheery blond of him. But Ichigo did no such thing. Instead he strode over to the now forgotten Earth bound spirit and before it could protest he tapped the hilt of his Zanpaktou of his head. Kanoji watched in slience as the spirit glowed brightly before disappearing altogether, leaving nothing but a dark butterfly behind.

"Actually, you lose Naruto. I saved the spirit. Since that was my objective from the start that means I win."

Naruto looked over at him with his mouth wide open as if he couldn't believe what he'd just heard. If he didn't win then that meant…

"But… my Ramen?" he cried, actual tears appearing in his eyes.

"Get your own," growled Ichigo.

Naruto gave a huff but none the less relented, removing his foot from Kanoji's throat, allowing the man to get up. The second he was up Naruto dropped his gloomy disposition and adopted his usual wide grin.

"Fine then Strawberry, I will admit defeat for today. But beware for I will Return. Mwa ha ha ha ha!"

Through his speech Naruto had begun taking on various bad guy poses, making use of his cloak to add to effect.

"Well by Strawberry, Moustachio."

And with that Naruto seemed to jump backwards but disappeared mid jump, leaving not a single trace of him behind.

"God that guys annoying," stated Ichigo, before looking over to Don Kanoji. "Me and you need to have a little chat about your purification methods."

**Okay two chapters down. For now Naruto will be staying as a light hearted buffon. But he can get serious when he wants too.**

**Now about pairings. I honestly wasn't really going to do them other than hinting at IchiRuki because I can. But if Pairing are important to you guys I can fit it in. Although I have no Idea who I'd put with Naruto. Maybe I can have a poll? I've never had one before. Well for now just tell me what you think of the whole pairings things, if you think I should have one and anything else that comes to mind.**

**Any questions you guys have ask in your reviews or PM me. Bye bye.**


	3. Ramen Addict

**Okay I have a few chapters back. In my opinion this is not my best work but that's mainly because I couldn't be assed to write out every single scene from the manga exactly as they are in detail. So I included the important bits and I'm going t0 let your minds fill in the rest of it. Hey im a lazy git, so sue me. And you'll probably get sick of all the scene shifts quickly.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own squat. Still.**

Naruto cackled as he watched the results of his latest prank. He did smaller pranks in between his bigger ones just to keep things lively. Of course he made sure to put his usual insignia in the form of a sticker just above the targets door. Today's prank was a simple but effective one, which involved a trip wire and a paddling pool of blue paint. The night before he'd hidden out in the house of a family who were watching Smurfs. Ahh the perks of being invisible. Free movies, free peep shows, pretty much free everything. Except Ramen. He refused to steal Ramen. That would just piss of the gods. Anyway the Smurf film had given some major inspiration, and as expected the unsuspecting home owner tripped over the wire the second he stepped from his house and landed in a paddling pool of blue paint. Naruto cackled away merrily at the sight of the sputtering owner who was floundering around in the paint having momentarily forgotten he could stand up, until Naruto stopped suddenly. His body went rigged like a corpse, his eyes widened and his pupils dilated. A shiver started at his ankles and started working its way up the rest of him until even the individual strands of his hair were shivering. He didn't even notice the loud roars and cries of hollows that were suddenly pouring into Karakura town. The only thing he could fathom was the smell. A smell so strong it hit his senses like a bulldozer, and all of a sudden he found his mouth watering. Without a word he dropped from the tree and shot of down the road, following his nose towards the smell.

* * *

"DAMNT!" yelled Ichigo as he cut through yet another hollow. "I'm going to kick that Bastard Uryu's ass!"

He didn't have time to continue his monologue though as he had to dodge a swipe from a hollow that had snuck up behind him before spinning around and swiping his oversized Zanpaktou through the Hollows mask.

"Karin should be getting out of school right now. I can't let her get caught up in all this."

He let out a war cry as he charged another hollow, fully aware of another five who had appeared on the roof tops around him.

* * *

"BOOM!"

The sound of the impact of Chad's fist connecting with the Hollow could actually be heard by the living five blocks away as the monster was sent flying backwards crashing to the ground in a cloud of Dust. Chad stood with his now armoured fist stretched out before him.

"Urn, hey big guy," called Ichigo's little sister Karin from behind him. "What happened to your arm?"

He was prevented from answering though when a large guttural roar interrupted him, causing both Chad and Karin to look over at the Hollow that Chad had just nailed. It was getting up, albeit with a missing arm.

"It's still not.." muttered Karin in disbelief. The Hollow started to charge at them, its large powerful legs letting it move with a speed you wouldn't suspect considering his size. Chad gave a grunt and started charging as well. But he never got past starting.

"Get the hell out the way!" came a voice to the right of them. This caused all three of them, Hollow included to look to their right, just in time to see a boy with a blond mop of hair and wearing a brown cloak to come charging down at them with the Hollow directly in his path.

"MOVE!"

The boy gave no other warning before leaping into the air and rocketing at the hollow with his foot extended out in front of him. He didn't even slow down when he made contact with the Hollow, the Hollow's head exploding into a shower of blood as the blond ploughed through. He landed on his feet and shot of again, leaving a dissolving hollow in his wake.

"Was that… was that Naruto?" asked Karin in disbelief.

Chad just shrugged.

* * *

Ishida was starting to get worried. There were two reasons for this. The first was that he was starting to run on empty. His fingers were starting to bleed, and some of the hollows were starting to take multiple arrows to take them down. He'd almost failed to save three people. The second reason was the ridiculously strong Hollow that he could feel running around seemingly randomly. But it was going in his general direction.

"Maybe this wasn't such a good idea," he muttered to himself as he let of another arrow, watching it pierce the mask of a rhino shaped hollow but failing to kill it.

* * *

Orihime was unnaturally calm about seeing the six fairies dancing around in front of her. But hey she'd seen stranger things. In her head mostly but still. Plus there was a huge Octopus squid thingy staring her down? However she decided that these fairies needed some kind of direction.

"Fairies, flying fairies are talking to me," she cried, throwing her arms up in some weird manner.

One of the fairies seemed to approve of this.

"Hmmph, nice reaction, very nice." She said approvingly. "But you're wrong, we're not fairies."

'Yes you are,' thought Orihime.

"We are the power of your soul. Awakened by something you responded too. We are-"

Clap!

"Hey!" screamed the fairy, trapped between Orihime's clapped hands. "Just because you didn't get the explanation doesn't mean you have to capture me. No one can see us anyway."

Orihime paused for a moment.

"Really?" she asked in a disappointed tone.

"Really!" The fairy shouted back. "What were you planning on taking us to show and tell?"

Then the fairy seemed to pause and think back on her previous statement.

"Although a few people like Ichigo Kurosaki might be able to see us."

"Ichigo? Why?"

"You know why," answered the Fairy mysteriously. "Because we were born because of him."

"Huh?"

Any more of the conversation was interrupted by a different fairy dressed in a black jumpsuit and white scarf covering the lower half of her face.

"There's no time for introductions," he yelled. "All you really need to know woman, is how to use us."

'He's small, but bossy.' Thought Orihime.

Now the other fairies decided to but in.

"Our job is to shield and reject!" they shouted. "And to activate us you need to use your heart and kotodama, or spirit chant!"

Of course this just served to further confuse Orihime.

Meanwhile the Hollow was preparing to strike. It was just about to launch its attack when a voice made itself known.

"Move it, move it, move it, move it, MOVE IT!"

This attracting the attention of everyone present when they turned to saw a Blond boy in a brown cloak hurtling towards them. Apparently the hollow was in his way and he was not willing to divert his course. Proven when rather than going around the hollow he spun when he reached her and landed a round house kick straight to its mask, destroying it and sending the hollow flying. It had already half disintegrated before crashing into a building. The blond meanwhile didn't even slow down.

Orihime and her fairies just watched as the boy continued running eventually disappearing from sight.

"Well okay then," said the black clad fairy, his shoulders slumping. The original fairy came back over to Orihime.

"How about we just teach you how to heal Tatsuki for now? She asked.

"Really, yay!"

* * *

"Damnit, there are too many hollows. My strength is beginning to fade," muttered Ishida under his breath. Plus that really strong signature was getting closer and closer.

He began moving, seeking out more hollows and ignoring the pain in his fingers. He eventually came upon Rukia failing to destroy a Hollow with her Kido. He gave deep breath before prepping his bow again and firing a volley of arrows into the hollow. Rukia turned around to face him, while he lowered his bow.

"I suppose I should say, nice to meet you. This is the first time we've spoken one on one, Rukia Kuchiki."

Ichigo was not expecting to find Uryu with Rukia and Kon but hey it saved him some time.

"I finally found you, Uryu," said Ichigo, attracting everyone's attention. "I'd love to mike you cry right now, but first I got to pulverise this guy."

Ichigo reached out, and grabbed hold of Kon.

"KON WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN!" Ichigo roared, his head seeming to grow three sizes as he yelled.

"What are you getting mad at me for, save me for after you beat up him," Kon yelled back, pointing to a flabbergasted Ishida.

"SHUT UP, I HAD TO RUN ALL OVER TOWN BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T BRING RUKIA'S THINGAMAJIG!"

"YOU SHOULD BE HAPPY! RUNNINGS A GREAT WAY TO RELIEVE STRESS!"

"I DON'T HAVE ANY STRESS!"

"THEN WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS FROWING!"

"DIDN'T YOU DEDICATE YOUR MIND, BODY AND SOUL TO RUKIA! YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO FIND HER EASY IN THAT CASE RIGHT!"

"I DID! I COULD FIND HER JUST BY HER SMELL!"

"HEY!," cried Rukia "I DO NOT SMELL!"

"That's enough, I am your enemy, this is no time for bickering," said Ishida.

"I never said it was a bad smell. It's a heavenly smell, see?" _sniff sniff._

"FOOL, STOP! Hey, stop or I'll…"

THWACK

"AH MY NOSE, I THINK SHE BROKE MY NOSE!"

"HEY RUKIA THAT'S MY BODY, THINK BEFORE YOU PUNCH!"

"Um," said Ishida, trying to get attention.

"DON' YELL AT HER ICHIGO, IT'S MY FAULT! IF YOU WANNA HIT SOMEON HIT ME!"

THWACK.

"SHEESH, I DIDN'T MEAN IT!"

"THEN YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE SAID IT!"

"THAT'S ENOUGH ICHIGO KUROSAKI, I AM YOUR OPPONENT!" roared Ishida before firing off an arrow.

But Ichigo blocked it with ease.

'He's fast,' thought Ishida.

"You're right, this is between you and me," answered Ichigo. "So stop with the contest. You and me, let's go right here!"

_Crack_

Ishida stiffened as Ichigo continued to yell at him. Rukia and Kon though noticed the same thing Ishida did. There was a giant crack in the sky. And the hollows were heading right for it.

[Time Skip]

* * *

Things had gone downhill. Rukia had told Ichigo about the Quincies but it turns out Ishida was more upset about the death of his grandfather.

Ichigo had then solved Ishida's problem using the only method that had been proved to work for any problem. By punching it. It was after that though that the problems started. Or rather the problem, singular. But this problem just happened to be the size of a sky scraper. The problems name was Menos Grande.

Rukia was in shock as she saw the giant creature lumbering through the crack in the sky, and a feeling of hopelessness began to settle in the pit of her stomach.

"How are we supposed to fight that," whispered Ishida, as a bead of sweat worked its way down his face.

"Hee hee."

Ishida heard Ichigo's laughter and turned to face him.

"What's so funny?"

"It's pointless to think about how to fight that thing." Answered Ichigo to Ishida's confusion. "To beat that guy… WE JUST HAVE TO CUT, CUT AND CUT SOME MORE! COME ON URYU!"

And without another word Ichigo sped over, leaving a completely dumbstruck Ishida behind.

Ichigo managed to nick it's ankle before he was toe bunted away.

"Are you alright Ichigo," asked Ishida, uncertain if he should feel concern for his rival or not.

"Well what do you know I'm actually not dead," answered Ichigo as he stood up and suted himself off, completely oblivious to the blood leaking from his skull.

"WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING, HOW DID YOU EXPECT TO BEAT IT LIKE THAT!" Yelled Ishida when he figured out that Ichigo was… more or less fine.

"Well I figured if I started cutting at his feet I'd eventually get to his head," answered Ichigo,

"Were you dropped on your head as a child? Get up we need a new plan," barked out Ishida as he grabbed onto Ichigo's sword. He was not expecting his bow to triple in size the second he grabbed the thing though.

This eventually led to Rukia trying to hold in her sniggers of laughter as Ichigo had his sword tied to Ishida's head in order to supercharge his bow.

"This is stupid," remarked Ichigo.

"Hey I'm not happy that I have to team up with a shinigami either."

While they were distracted arguing, and separating their weapons so they could argue, the Menos began to charge something in its started of small but soon red flecks of energy began to gravitate towards it mouth, forming a dark crimson orb. Rukia noticed this and her eyes widened in fear.

"A cero…" she said in disbelief. "You two, move it!"

Now noticing the attack Ishida began to instruct Ichigo to put the sword back, not noticing the orange haired shinigami had already run off. The Menos discharged the Cero and Ichigo brought up his blade. The beam hit the blade but Ichigo didn't budge. This continued for a while, Ichigo not budging an inch as the beam continued hammering away at him with extreme force. Ishida could barely believe what he was seeing.

"If Ichigo's energy is always on full," he thought, thinking back to their earlier argument and Ichigo's revalation that he never controls his spirit energy, "then if he were to ever block it off, then the energy would build up. And if he were to release that energy…"

Ichigo gave a roar before swinging his blasé upwards. The result was instantaneous. He cut straight through the beam, reducing it to particles of energy before continuing on and cutting straight into the giant from its hip to its shoulder. The cut didn't go straight through but it was pretty deep, and black blood began spraying from the wound, drenching the area directly in front of them.

"Oh, gross," muttered Ichigo, trying to wipe of the blood.

The creature gave a loud groan that rattled the surrounding rooftops and gained the attention of everyone present. It began moving backwards into the giant portal it had opened in the sky. Ishida couldn't believe it. The menos was _running away_.

But then he remembered something else. Another hollow signature in the area. The one that had been running around earlier. It was here.

"**BACK THE FUCK AWAY FROM MY RAMEN DATTEBYO!"**

While Ishida, Ichigo and Rukia were left reeling from the loud statement that was just made, a blond in brown rags suddenly appeared out of nowhere, at face level with the Menos. He brought his hand back and a blue orb spiralled into existence in his palm. He slammed the orb forwards into the Menos just below his mask, the orb burying itself deep into the creature. There was a second where nothing happened but then…

The Menos let out a roar as a large crater appeared on the monster from the point of impact, groove marks appearing in a spiral formation inside the crater. The bottom half of the Menos mask disintegrated inside of the crater and the giant Menos, after giving one last roar of pain began to fall backwards through the hole in the sky and out of sight. Whether it survived the attack or not nobody knew.

The blond seemed to be propelled backwards after he launched his attack, and landed in front of the group. Naruto, for that's who the blond obviously was turned to face them all with a large grin plastered on his face, before it suddenly turned into one full of determination as he pointed an accusing finger at Ishida.

"You, where's my Ramen!"

Ishida let he jaw drop. This was… a hollow right? It felt like a hollow but…

"Don't try to hide it from me I can smell it. Hell I can feel it, like the air has been saturate with the most heavenly smelling Ramen I have ever felt slash smelt."

Ishida of course had no clue what Naruto was talking about, but Rukia had come up with a theory.

"Is he talking about the hollow bait?" she whispered to herself, just loud enough for the other two to hear.

"Hollow bait does not smell like Ramen," Ishida said, pushing his glasses further up his nose.

"Not to a normal hollow, but you never know with this guy," answered Rukia. "He seems to mention Ramen each time we bump into him. If Hollow bait feels and smells different for each Hollow depending on their own preferred taste then it may actually smell like Ramen to him."

Ishida frowned.

"Hollow's don't eat Ramen," he said.

"This one does," countered Ichigo. "My sister buys it for him sometimes. Which reminds me this guy owes my sister like, a bucketful of yen. Karin said he eats like thirty bowls a sitting."

"Hey look," said Naruto impatiently from where was standing, arms crossed and tapping his foot of the floor. "I can hear you guys talking and all, but I ain't seeing no Ramen. So how about you bring it out, or I beat it out of you."

Ichigo stepped forward. "Let me deal with this. Karin said you have to be sensitive with him when it comes to Ramen."

He stepped closer to Naruto, who had stopped tapping his foot and was waiting patiently to hear what Ichigo had to say.

"Hey shithead. We ain't got no Raman. And you ain't getting any till you pay my little sister back for every single bowel she brought you. Which according to her numbers in the hundreds."

Rukia and Ishida were slack jawed. This was what he considered sensitive?

Suddenly they all heard a grinding noise. It took them a moment to realise it was coming from Naruto. He was grinding his teeth together.

"No ramen…" he muttered, his hair shadowing his eyes. "You're telling me there's no- ramen."

Ichigo took a step back. He could feel Naruto's killing intent rising. Maybe he hadn't handled that properly.

"DON'T LIE TO ME DATTEBYO! I CAN SMELL IT!"

Ichigo didn't even have enough time to blink before Naruto's fist slammed into his face. Ichigo had just enough time to realize that this was the first time that Natuo had used his hands in a fight before his head smashed into the ground.

"Ichigo," Rukia called out. She'd seen him hit the ground and she knew he'd be feeling that for a while. Ishida had a far more practical response, readying his bow and docking an arrow. He never got a chance to fire it though since Naruto's fist was suddenly buried in his stomach.

"You," hissed Naruto, his eyes practically trying to glare Ishida to death. You're the one with the ramen."

Ishida's only response was to cough up some blood.

"Bakudo number four, Hainawa!" Rukia yelled, calling up yellow ropes to try and bind Naruto. But he moved and she ended up binding Ishida instead, who stumbled and fell down to the ground. She heard the crack as his glasses broke. She also felt a tug as Naruto appeared behind her, grabbing her by her collar and throwing her over to Ichigo who caught her.

"What's going on," he asked her as he set her down on her feet. "He's not normally this violent."

"I think it's the hollow bait," answered Rukia warily as she watched Naruto go back to tormenting Ishida. "It's making him act strange."

A white blur shot passed her, which turned out to be Ishida. Naruto had frown him like a missle straight at Ichigo, taking him down. Ichigo growled as he got up, hoisting Ishida to his feet aswell.

"Damnit Ishida, you've doomed us all!"

Ishida didn't respond. He was too busy jumping out the way as Naruto rammed into Ichigo.

"Give me my Ramen!" he roared like a madman. He grabbed Ichigo's head and smashed him into the ground. Then he pulled Ichigo back by his collar and pulled his fist back.

'Damnit he's too strong,' thought Ichigo, as he watched Naruto rear back a fist. It was glowing with an eerie red colour. Somehow he could just tell that this was going to hurt a lot. 'Is this really how I go? After everything I've been through, everything I've sworn to protect, am I really going to get killed by Naruto in a ramen rage?'

Naruto's fist descended.

"Oi Naruto you big idiot!"

And then it stopped about two inches from Ichigo's face. Both boys turned to their right to spot Ichigo's savior. His eyes widened exponentially when he spotted his little sister Karin. But that wasn't all. She was carrying five bowls in plastic wrappings, and behind her Chad was standing with four very full looking bags.

"What the hell are you doing?" she asked with a raised eyebrow, looking between her brother and Naruto. "Put my idiot brother down, we got a present for ya."

Naruto blinked before doing as he was told. He let go of Ichigo's robe and let him fall to the floor with an 'umpth'.

"Is that…" Naruto began, his mouth already salivating. He could actually smell the Ramen and he was already wandering over to Karin with his mouth watering.

"Yeah, Chad thought we should get you something as a thanks for helping us out earlier. I suggested Ramen since that's the only thing you seem to like."

Chad nodded from behind.

Naruto actually had tears in his eyes. He began to wipe them on the bandages on his arm before suddenly lunging forward and grabbing Karin and Chad in a hug.

"You guys are the best!" he cried happily. "Even you big guy. I don't know who you are but I can already tell you must be some kind of saint, placed on this earth by the gods themselves."

"Hey get of me!" yelled Karin struggling from inside the hug.

Meanwhile Rukia had unbound Ishida and helped Ichigo to his feet although he was none too steady. The three of them stood just staring at the spectacle before them as the unstoppable beserker had been tamed by the sweet scent of Ramen. They watched how Naruto disengaged from the hug, somehow with all the Ramen bowls now balanced in his arms. With stars in his eyes he set the bowls down carefully, like new born babies. And then he pulled a pair of red chopsticks from seemingly nowhere and created a brand new spectacle as he tore into the ramen, eating at a speed no human could possibly match. Roughly ten minutes later all twenty five bowls of Ramen were empty and Naruto gave a satisfied burp. Karin herself had her arms crossed and a smirk on her face. She gave a nod before turning on her heel and walking off.

"He's a spiritual entity," said Ishida, although he didn't sound so sure. "So how can he eat physical food?"

Ichigo gave a shrug. "Well spiritual entities can interact with the physical world. So they should be able to stomach it too."

Ishida nodded his head.

"Yes but it shouldn't actually provide them with any nutrition."

Naruto, having heard their conversation decided to jump in.

"Ramen is the food of the gods," he declared happily. "And gods are a spiritual entity. If Ramen can feed a god it can feed a Hollow too. Believe it!"

Ichigo blinked a few times.

"Believe it, or Dattebyo? Can you stick to just one verbal tick?."

A distance away Kisuke Uruhara had watched the entire spectacle. He'd shown up around the same time as the Menos, but decided not to intervene. The Hollow interested him greatly. It was completely different to every other Hollow or even Arrancer that he'd ever seen before. Although it obviously gave off a feeling of being a hollow, there was nothing malefic or even evil about it. Even when it had gone into what can only be called a ramen induced berserk rage, it had the feeling of a righteous fury. From Ramen apparently. The Hollow must actually worship the stuff. But what was even more interesting is that the Hollow seemed to have some severe limits on its power. If those limits were taken off, he actually shouldered to think. None the less he smiled before flicking open his favourite paper fan.

"My, my. How interesting," he said in a sly tone. "Come on, we're heading back."

He turned to face Tessai, Jinta and Ururu before walking past them. A minute later they all turned to follow him.

**Okay guys that concludes this chapter. Next chapter is a bit more serious and has a little twist I'm hoping that none of you see coming. As far as Naruto's pairing goes a lot of you say either Nel or Harribel. Yoruichi and Soi Fon have been mentioned and one or two people thought Hiyori. My step Brother said Unohana since then she can beat him up if he does somet stupid, heal him then beat him up again. Somone else had the same idea too. Well it's a moot point for now. Naruto won't have a pairing for a while either way although I now have a poll up with plenty of choices. You get two votes too, so if you can't decide you don't have too. Just look at my profile page to vote. Okay I'm done, over and out. **


	4. party Preperations

**Well guys like I promised, chapter 4 nice and early. But be warned this chapter starts of slightly more seriously. Now I'm sure your all wandering how the poll is going. Well I'm not going to reveal too much on that yet. I will say that so far sixty-seven people have voted and the top three choices so far are all very close to each other. I'll reveal more when I release chapter five but just so you know your vote could really make all the difference at the moment. There is literally a single vote's difference between the top three, so if you want a specific pairing you'd better vote for it.**

**Disclaimer: I won smelly socks and a gay dog. I do not own Naruto or Bleach.**

His body felt heavy. It was strange how a soul could bleed. How a weightless spirit could still succumb to gravity. How it could feel cold as his blood seeped out of him, mingling with the puddles made by the rain. He felt numb. If he was in his body, and he wasn't just a soul, he would be pretty sure this meant he was dying. As it stands, he couldn't imagine this feeling meaning anything different. But even so, he couldn't die yet. He still had to save her after all. She's right there. He can still hear.

"What's wrong with going to him? He gave his life for me!"

He tried to will his body. To make it stand. But it wouldn't. If only he could move. Even just a hand. Even just a finger.

"I understand. This child, he looks very much like him."

He reached out with his hand.

"I'm Dead, I look like somebody? You'd better not keep telling the story when I'm not around."

Naruto watched how the battle play out. He watched as the orange haired shinigami was cut down trying to save that girl. She called the attacker brother. But the way he talked to her. And to kill her friend. Was that really what a brother would do? He'd never had a family so he couldn't say for sure. But that just made this hurt even more. That girl was his family. Someone precious. So why was he hurting her? With that single question in his mind he made his move.

Byakuya barely had enough time to raise his sword to block the kick that was sent his way. Even so the force was enough to send him hurtling away from Ichigo. Naruto landed, his usual cheerful face looking grim as he eyed the shinigami.

"What the… a Hollow!" came Renji's voice from the side-lines.

Naruto noticed the red head's charge him. But he wasn't in the mood for playing right now. As Renji slashing down at an angle, he tilted his body at the same angle, allowing the blade to pass by his torso. Before Renji could string together another blow Naruto struck out with two fingers, burying them into the man's throat in a way that allowed him to hook them around Renji's windpipe.

"Stay out of this," threatened Naruto, before removing his fingers, and lashing out with a kick. His heel slammed into Renji's chest and sent him crashing into a wall.

Rukia was surprised by the sudden reappearance of the hollow. Even more so by its power, as it effortlessly defeated Renji. And to think she'd told Ichigo to fight against that before. But more importantly Renji was no longer holding onto her and her brother was not nearby. So giving it no more thought she quickly hurried over to Ichigo's side.

"Ichigo!" she called out desperately. "Ichigo."

The orange haired boy groaned but none the less managed to give Rukia a weak smile.

"I'm fine," he told her, before coughing up a lump of blood.

"What are you doing Hollow," remarked Byakuya from the place he'd been kicked to, reminding the two of their would be saviour.

Naruto frowned.

"I heard you talking. She's your sister right. So why do you hurt her?"

Byakuya titled his head, as if regarding the hollow.

"She has broken the law."

"Yes, but from what I heard it was to save this boy's life."

Byakuya frowned.

"The reasons do not matter. By order of central 46 she will stand trial."

Naruto cocked his head to the side.

"Ah so your one of those types. One of those who cares more for their own pride than they do for family or friends."

Byakuya regarded the hollow with interest. It was because of this interest that he had not immediately struck the hollow down. But now his patience was beginning to wear thin.

"We are of the Kuchiki clan, a noble house who act as a moral compass for those of a lower stature. We must follow the rules, or no one will," Byakuya explained. But the hollow did not seem satisfied with this answer.

"And you believe this reason will allow your clan to keep its head held high? Funny. Where I come from, if you had spouted such a reason, you would have been considered lower than scum. No even scum would be too kind a word for you."

At this the elder kuchiki's eyes narrowed.

"Who are you to judge me? Nothing but a lowly, filthy hollow. I have had enough of speaking with you. I will kill you now."

And like that Byakuya was gone. But so was Naruto. Three observers heard a clash and then the two combatants reappeared. They'd met halfway towards each other. Naruto had blocked Byakuya's sword with his right arm, and Byakuya had grabbed Naruto's right wrist just before he'd plunged it into Byakkuya's stomach. As it was Naruto's middle finger had punctured the skin, allowing a small dribble of blood to run down the front of Byakuya's front. In a similar way a trickle of blood could be seen coming from Naruto's arm, where Byakuya's sword had managed a shallow cut.

"Is that the best you can do shinigami?" asked Naruto. His tone was light, almost cheerful.

Byakkuya glared.

"Do not be conceited Hollow. When we captain and sub Captain class shinigami come to the human world our power's are restricted to twenty per-cent of their usual maximum."

Naruto's eyes widened.

"So that's why you so weak."

This was obviously not the answer Byakuya was looking for, as he pushed Naruto away before retaking his stance.

"I will take your head hollow."

Byakuya's face was usually an emotionless mask. But to Renji, who had spent so much time with the man, Byakuya looked clearly enraged. Not that he could point that out as he was currently busy trying to stem the blood flow from his throat. Naruto had made sure to not damage anything but even so a hole in ones throat is never the nicest of wounds.

Without a word the two combatants disappeared once more, at speeds none there could follow. But neither Renji nor Rukia could believe their eyes when they saw Byakuya's face hit the tarmac. Naruto soon appeared behind him but didn't move from there. He seemed content to wait for Byakuya to get up.

After a few seconds Byakuya put both hands flat on the ground and pushed himself up. The way he did it was slow, regal even. Like having his face planted into the ground was something barely worth acknowledging.

He slowly turned to face Naruto once again.

"Leave Hollow, you have no business here."

Naruto snorted.

"What you can't beat me, so now you try reasoning? Tell me, when that girl begged you not to hurt her friends? Did you listen?"

Byakuya narrowed his eyes.

"I admit that without removing my limit, you are too much for me. However hollow, I doubt a being such as yourself can understand a concept such as reason. No I am telling you to leave for these maters do not concern you."

Naruto practically growled at the man.

"It looks like you aren't getting it. I'm not letting you take the girl. I've watched the two of them over the last few weeks. They've been a lot of fun. That's why, you leave. And until you understand what it means to have a family, and how precious that bond is, **DO NOT COME BACK**."

The last words Naruto spoke were in a demonic voice, and as he said them the very air around him seemed to ripple and the ground began to crack.

Byakuya's eyebrows shot up. The Hollows spiritual pressure was rising. Now it was double what it was before. Triple now and it showed no signs of stopping. His legs began to wobble under the strain of standing.

"I see now," he calmly stated, "that you cannot be allowed to live."

He raised his blade, though admittedly with some difficulty.

"Scatter, Senbon zakura."

Upon the command Byakkuya's sword separated into a thousand tiny pieces. Flashed of yellow, silver and pink could be seen under the light of the lamppost.

"It's… over," Renji managed to grunt out.

Ichigo had been watching the battle from his position on the floor. He'd watched as Naruto seemed to overpower Byakuya. He'd felt happy, and grateful to the hollow. For protecting Rukia. But at the same time, he'd felt so jealous of him for doing what he could not. And then Byakuya whispered some words and his sword fell apart. And then his eyes widened with horror as Naruto was suddenly cut to ribbons. Was this it? If Naruto fell now, what would happen to Rukia?

But then he heard a sound. One of the most annoying sounds he can ever remember hearing, and he felt his lips curl up at the end.

'Poof'

Byakuya stared in confusion as the hollow turned into a cloud of smoke. Realizing what this meant he quickly brought his arm up to defend. Only now he had no blade to defend with.

"DYNAMIC ENTRY!" came Naruto's ridiculous battle cry, and much like he did with Ichigo he landed a perfect kick to Byakuya's face. He barely had enough time to register the blow before he was crashing right into Renji, the two of them quickly falling into a pile of crumbled limbs.

Renji shifted his captain off him in order to stand before realising what he'd just done. He'd had to shift his captain himself. Did that mean that…

Yes, Byakuya Kuchiki, head of the noble Kuchiki clan and captain of the sixth division was now unconscious.

"C-Captain," sputtered Renji, temporarily forgetting about his throat and letting some blood squirt out. "Gaah"

He quickly covered the wound with one hand, and with the other brought out his sword. He stabbed it into seemingly thin air and to Naruto's surprise a door appeared.

"Oh wow, is that a door to soul society. We hollows can open a door to Hueco Mundo. It's called Gargantua."

Renji just narrowed his eyes at the hollow.

"Whatever, this isn't over. Rukia, for now you can stay here, but soon we'll come back to get you. And you'll regret siding with the human."

Renji didn't spare her a second glance as he heaved his captain over his shoulder and hobbled through the door to soul society. A moment later the door closed and disappeared.

Rukia spent a few seconds just staring into the air before remembering Ichigo was in a critical condition.

"Ichigo, are you okay," she said soflty. She knew he wasn't. Her brother had cut two very important places for a soul, the saketsu chain and the hakusui soul sleep. Without these, Ichigo would lose all of his soul reaper powers, even if he does manage to live through this.

"I', (cough) fine, Rukia," replied Ichigo weakly. He tried to grin to reassure her. But he found the effort rather painful and just ended up coughing up more blood.

"H-hollow."

Naruto perked up, hearing Ichigo call for him. Although he'd still much prefer it if Ichigo would call him by his name. He had done that absolutely awesome self-introduction whe they'd met afterall.

He made his way over, occasionally shifting his arms under the cloak which had become heavy with the rain. He bent down on his knees so that he was squatting, causing his cloak to pool in the rain and blood that was surrounding Ichigo

"What is it, Strawberry?" asked Naruto.

Ichigo frowned, which didn't take any effort since his mouth had pretty much set in that shape.

"Don't call me that," he muttered.

"Well don't call me Hollow," relied Naruto with a grin.

"You know what I was going to thank you but now I don't think I'm going to bother.

Naruto pouted.

"Look I have a name. Do you know how annoying it is that nobody uses it?"

Ichigo sighed, before coughing again.

"Fine then, Naruto. Thank you, for saving Rukia."

Naruto grinned.

"You're welcome."

Ichigo finally lost consciousness, and with that no more words were spoken, but the rain continued falling.

"Oh my, oh my."

Rukia looked up and Naruto looked behind him, to see a man wearing a green haori and green and white stripy hat with a black Umbrella held above his head.

"Do you need a hand?"

* * *

Aizen was furious. Of course this did not show on his face, which retained a smiling posture. He'd just received vice-Captain Abarai's report along with the rest of the captains. His carefully laid plans had taken a major hit. The Hogyoku was back in Urahara's possession, and now getting access to it would become difficult. Perhapes he could send some of his Espada to retrieve it. But he knew Urahara. He was a crafty man, and no doubt he'd already laid out plans in the event of an attack. There was no use in losing a pawn this early on. He would have to wait. But there was a silver lining to all of this. The hollow that Abarai had described. It took on a human appearance and defeated Captain Byakuya with his bare hands. Of course he had been limited to a fifth of his full power, but then from the report it didn't sound like the hollow was fighting at full strength either. And he wasn't the only one who seemed interested in this hollow. Yamamoto seemed rather disturbed by the news as well. And captains Kyoraku and Ukitaki seemed to share a grin. And so now he would have to plan around this set back. Because one way or another the Hogyoku would be his.

* * *

"Are you telling me that the reason I am being sentenced to such a severe punishment for what would otherwise be an understandable infranction of the rules are the machinations of one madman?"

Urahara grinned behind the fan in front of his face.

"That was a lot of big words miss Kuchiki, but yes that's basically right. I placed a treasure inside of you, and someone is going to very extreme lengths to claim it."

Rukia snarled.

"So this is your fault.

Urahara waved her off.

"Hey, hey let's not place blame here. I had to find a way to keep it safe."

"And you did this by placing it in the gigai of a low ranking shinigami who had lost her powers, and if not for the timely interference of a hollow of all things, would be easy pickings?"

Urahara stopped waving his fan.

"Alright I admit it wasn't my best plan. But I was really quit limited on my options. This was the only way to destroy it."

Rukia creased her eyebrows together in confusion.

"How would hiding it away inside me destroy it?"

Urahara started waving his fan again.

"Ah well that's the brilliant bit. You see that Gigai slowly filters away your reiatsu and bonds your soul to it. Eventually you'd become a full human. Of course at the end of your human life your soul would return to soul society, and the Hogyoku would die along with the gigai. Brilliant right?"

Urahara was suddenly yanked forward by tiny fists grabbing his haori and pulling him closer to her now furiously red looking face.

"You were going to turn me into a human? You know what, after I finish beating you to a pulp, I'm going to give your shop the worst reviews it could possibly have and make sure that everyone knows about it."

"Mah, mah calm down Miss Kuchiki. It's not all bad. It would only be a century at the very most, and besides you could have spent it with Ichigo."

Rukia suddenly let go of his haori letting him fall back to his seating position.

"Wha-what are you suggesting?" she stammered, her face going red for an entirely different reason.

But before Urahara could respond a cry was heard throughout the entire house.

"Well it looks like Ichigo's awake."

* * *

Ichigo had indeed woken up, glad he was not dead. But this happiness only lasted a moment as he opened his eyes and saw two faces way to close to his own.

"Waaaaah!"

Both faces jumped back.

"A quick response, very good," said one of the faces, that he recognized as belonging to that big guy who was always around hat and clogs.

"Morning Ichigo," said Naruto in his usual happy voice. Only there was something very different about him. His hollow aura seemed to be gone, and he seemed to be wearing an orange t-shirt and white shorts. The ring around his neck had been replaced with a black headband with a metal plate along with the stylized leaf that he'd had on. There was also a black cat perched in his hair.

Noticing where Ichigo was looking Naruto grinned. He reached up and took the cat out of his hair.

He held the cat around its middle in front of Ichigo's face.

"This is Yoyo. Say high Yoyo," said Naruto.

"Hi," said the cat blandly much to Ichigo's surprise. Apparently satisfied Naruto placed the cat back in his hair, where it quickly took up its previous position with a satisfied look on its face.

"Boss, Mr Kurosaki is awake!" called the big guy with the glasses. Ichigo didn't want to stay with the strange guy any longer, so he started trying to get out of the bed, ignoring the pain that wracked through his body with every movement.

"No no, Mr Kurosaki, your wounds have barely closed."

Ichigi looked up to see Urahara walking through a door, followed closely by, to his relief, Rukia.

"If you move around too much you'll die," said Urahara cheerfully.

"Hat and clogs," whispered Ichigo. "So this is your house?"

"Yes," answered Urahara happily, snapping his fan shut as he did so.

Ichigo looked down.

"Did you… save us?"

Urahara stretched out his face in a grin.

"You sound upset. But it was Naruto over there who saved you. I just patched you up."

Ichigo glanced at the grinning blond beside him before realising something.

"Hey what about Uryu? He was there too."

"Ah yes, he went home. His wounds weren't too bad so I could heal him on the spot. But before he left he gave me a message for you. He said you need to toughen up. Because those shinimai are going to come back, and the only one who can protect her is you."

Rukia's response to this was to smash her fist into the top of Naruto's head, causing the cat to jump of his head.

"Oww, hey what was that for? And are you related to Sakura by any chance?"

"Who?" said Rukia, whilst massaging her fist. Naruto had been placed in a special Gigai so she didn't have to worry about his hierro, but he still had quite a hard head and commented on such.

"Your head's like a rock."

Naruto stopped rubbing his head and grinned at her.

"Yep, it's been tempered by decades of an angry female hitting it whenever she gets mad for reasons that don't make sense."

Rukia frowned at him.

"Ooh, that sound's interesting Naruto. I hope you won't mind answering some questions for me later. But for now we have a bigger problem. Which is that you, Master Ichigo Kurosaki have lost your Shinigami powers. And if you're going to protect Rukia we're going to need to sort that out."

"You know," interrupted Rukia. "If you'd just let me have _my _shinigami powers back I could protect myself."

But Uruhara shook his head.

"For now that's not an option," replied Uruhara. "But do you know what is an option? Getting Ichigo's powers back."

Ichigo was on his feet in seconds.

"There's a way to do that? How!"

"Ohh, so you wish to protect Miss Kuchiki with your life then?" said Urahara teasingly.

Ichigo slammed his hand down on the nearest thing, which happened to be Naruto's head.

"Of course I do."

Rukia's face blushed read and Urahara's grin widened. But Naruto just made a whining noise and started rubbing his head again.

"Alrighty then. For now take these pills," said Urahara, tacking a bottle with a skull on the front of it from out of his sleeve. "Take one of these every hour and by tonight your wounds should be gone!"

He shoved the pills into Ichigo's hands.

"For now you and Rukia can head home. We'll start tomorrow. Go to school though, we don't want your family to know anything's wrong yet. Plus from what I know it's the last day of school anyway."

Ichigo nodded.

"After that you'll be training with me and Naruto every day. We'll start with a ten day long survival training. As long as you can survive that you'll be making progress in leaps and bounds. As long as you survive of course."

**Well what do you think? I thought I might be taking a bit of a risk with the hoel complete abandonment of the soul society ark but Hey, if I stick Naruto in a story then he might as well have a big impact. Plus isn't this better than reading the same plt over and over again? Well If you think so then tell me and if you think not then tell me why.**


	5. On your marks

**Okay this is the beginning of my completely fanfic only 'Great Chase' ark. If you can't figure out why it's called that then... I recommend brain surgery. Or just asking me I suppose. **

**Disclaimer: I did own some Ramen but Naruto took it away DX I also don't own Naruto or Bleach.**

Naruto was sitting at Kisuke's Table, happily slurping up some ramen. Having no where to stay other than abandoned houses, he had gladly taken up on Urahara's offer to stay there for a bit. Beside him, there were fifteen empty bowls piled up high. Yoruichi was curled up in Naruto's hair, one of the most comfortable places in the world in her own opinion. Across from Naruto Kisuke was sitting with his legs folded, his fan out and a grin on his face. Although the grin was mostly fake, as inside he was still flinching from the price that all this Ramen had cost him.

So then Naruto," Urahara said, "I was hoping you could answer some questions for me."

"Umm (slurp) sure," Naruto said, before moving onto another bowel. "Go ahead."

"Right," said Urahara, not deterred in the slightest. "It's quite obvious that you're holding a lot of your power back. I was wondering what level of Hollow you are. I'm going to guess an Adjucas or maybe even a Vasto lord."

Naruto continued to slurp ramen for a moment before putting it down and looking at Kisuke. The humorous aura in the room seemed to have been replaced with a serious one. Even Yoruichi seemed to tense up. And then Naruto spoke.

"An Adju-what? And what the hells a Vasto Lord."

There was a loud shriek of a meow as Yoruichi fell from Naruto's hair. Urahara would have laughed if he wasn't too busy trying not to face plant himself."

"Umm I don't know anything about levels. I try not to spend much time in Huecco Mundo. It's rather dull there. I train a lot though. I'm a Kage level ninja if that helps."

Never one to be deterred Kisuke just flashed a smile before moving on to his next question.

"When I first brought you here yesterday you introduced yourself as the Prankster God of Huecco Mundo. If you were the single God of Huecco Mundo then Pranking god would have made more sense. But you make it sound like you're a god who specialises in pranking. Does this mean there are other gods of Huecco Mundo?"

Naruto's eyes comically widened.

"Wow, you're really smart. Although that reasoning sounded like total bullshit. Yeah there are four of us. Although Barry thinks he's the only real god and the rest of us are just posers."

Urahara raised an eyebrow, and Yoruichi returned to her position on Naruto's head. Naruto raised a hand and scratched her behind her ear.

"Barry?"

"Yeah Barry. I can't remember his full name. I'm pretty sure it sounded stupid anyway. He made an entire kingdom of Hollows who all worshiped him. Well until they were all killed a few centuries ago anyway."

This time Urahara did lose a bit of his composure.

"An entire army got wiped out?" he said, letting some genuine curiosity into his voice.

Naruto was now on his twentieth bowl of Ramen, and didn't even look up to Urahara when he answered.

"Yeah, some brown haired guy with glasses. Looked and felt kinda like a shinigami actually. He asked me to help him out about a century ago, but his smile looked so fake I just couldn't take him seriously. It was like a child trying to forge a bank note, and decided to print one of the internet. Yes I know what the internet is. I've been around a while. So I decided the guy needed to brighten up you know? So I brightened him up. With a little bit of yellow, a little bit of pink. And nice sky blue hair to finish."

Urahara dropped his fan and his jaw dropped. Yoruichi fell out of Naruto's hair again. Naruto actually stopped eating his ramen for a moment so he could frown at her. They knew he was talking about Aizen, what he said was a basic description of him.

"How…" said Kisuke for once in his life actually speechless.

"How what? It was just some paint. Nothing to gawk over. That blind guy didn't seem to think so though. Tried to kill me after that. There was a guy with a creepy grin there too, but he just broke down laughing. It's nice to know someone appreciates a good joke."

Kisuke and Yoruichi were silent for a minute while they processed this information. But then-

"Bwahahahahaha!" burst out Kisuke, while he banged his fists on the table. Yoruichi seemed to be having trouble breathing. Naruto just grinned, glad they found his story entertaining. He was caught by surprise though when Yoruichi went up in smoke. He stared wide eyed as in the cat's place there was now a naked woman with caramel skin and purple hair rolling around on the floor naked.

"Yoyo's a chick!" he exclaimed in surprise. "A naked chick! A hot naked chick!"

Kisuke carried on laughing but Yoruichi stopped, now fully aware that she'd lost control of her transformation. Not that she really cared if he saw her naked. It's just, she'd lost the ability to surprise him with it now. She looked up to see Naruto with a curious look on his face. He reached out with a hesitant hand. She watched it with a slight glare as it came closer. If he dared try to fondle her she was going to scratch his eyes out. Instead though he brought his hand to behind her ear and started scratching. She couldn't help it. She purred.

Kisuke, who had stopped lauching to watch what was happening, began to giggle again as Yoruichi began purring. Naruto had a satisfied look on his face though. He looked back to Kisuke with a grin, showing he was okay for any more questions.

"R-right," said Kisuke. "Why are you called gods then and what about the other two?"

Naruto brought his free hand to his chin as he gave the question dome thought.

"Well there are several reasons really. The first one is because we were the first natural Arrancar."

Kisuke's eyes widened a little but he didn't interrupt.

"Well except me. I was like this from the start, but the other three all became Arrancer really fast too. The other reason is because we all have abilities which people, or even Hollws really shouldn't have."

"Uh-huh," said Urahara, filing this information away. Hollows like that could cause some real problems if they ever came to the living world. "Can you tell me about these abilities?"

Naruto scratched his chin with his hand, before it reached out for his chopsticks again.

"Well I can tell you about Barry's. But Hashi and Crow are my friends, so I'd rather not tell you about those two unless they say I can. You guys seem nice but I don't really trust you yet. It'll take more than thirty bowls of ramen to buy my trust."

"Really, then how about a hundred?" asked Kisuke pleasantly? But Naruto glared at him.

"I won't rat my friends out, no matter how much ramen you offer me."

He wasn't going to reveal that he was actually tempted. Damn his ramen addiction, it could really function as a weakness sometimes.

Kisuke gave a sigh. Yoruichi just carried on purring. She'd actually managed to move so she was using Naruto's lap as a pillow while he continued to scratch her behind the ear.

"Very well then. What kind of information can you give me on Barry?"

Naruto gave a grin.

"Right well he thinks he's the God King of Huecco mundo, even though he got his ass kicked by Four eyes. He has fast forward and Baywatch powers."

Urahara raised an eyebrow.

"I'm afraid you've lost me."

"Oh well he can make things go really fast, age wise. Like living through your life in a second, you just kind of rot. And he can make things go slow-mo like in that show Baywatch, which makes him pretty difficult to hit. He's the weakest of the four of us, but he's still really dangerous, especially with his powers. We've all learned to counter him over time, but in the beginning he was really annoying. It was never too hard to dodge him but hitting him was a chore."

Kisuke nodded.

"And you mentioned that he works for Aizen now."

Naruto gave him a look.

"Who?"

"…The brown haired guy with the glass."

"Oh four eyes. Yeah I think the guy is really good at Genjutsu. Barry's a little stupid though. With his power he can just speed the Genjutsu up and make it run its course. Or maybe he doesn't have good enough control of his power to do that without harming himself. I'll laugh if he gets killed by his own power in the end. How ironic would that be? But yeah he's part of four eyes Arrancar army."

Kisuke and narrowed his eyes straight away and Yoruichi stopped purring, her own eyes taking on a serious disposition.

"I suspected it but to have it confirmed… about how strong is this Army, and where does Barry rank in it?

"Weeeell I think there are about a hundred Arrancar so far. Well last time I checked anyway. Barry was rank second last time I was there. If I remember right only the top ten strongest are ranked in order of strength but they keep changing. I was rather surprised to finds someone even stronger than Barry there though. I'm actually not sure I can beat rank one. Even if I used my resurrection I think I'd still have some trouble beating that guy. Barry's rank might have changed though. They change all the time. There used to be a pretty green haired girl. She was the only one who would laugh at my pranks. But she's gone now and instead there's a pretty blond girl. The green haired girls disappeared, she's not even there anymore."

"I see. Well Naruto I think our conversation is going to have to stop there. We seem to have visitors. Yoruichi you might want to get changed."

Yoruichi shot up into a sitting position while blinking before notcing the very weak spiritual pressure outside the door. She'd been so busy enjoying herself she hadn't even noticed someone coming. With a poof of smoke she turned back into a cat and hoped onto Naruto's head.

"Not a word of my true form to anyone." She warned, before stretching herself out and getting comfortable.

"Sure thing Yoyo."

Not a moment later the door slid open, and Ichigo walked in.

"Oh, welcome Ichigo, Rukia. How are your wounds?" asked Urahara with a grin.

Ichigo seemed to believe he needed to yank his shirt open to show off his scars for this next part.

"All healed," he said, before Rukia wacked him over the head.

"Ow, what was that for?"

"There is a lady present. Keep your shirt closed pleased."

In reality she just didn't like seeing the scars. They made her feel guilty.

"Well that's good. Oh and what did you tell your father?" asked Urahara curiously.

"I said I was sleeping over at a friends," said Ichigo, as he buttoned up his shirt.

"Well that's fine but… it sounds like an excuse for doing certain other things to me," said Urahara, with a weird look on his face.

"Grr, I'll kill you," muttered Ichigo, but Urahara just walked off into another room.

"Why didn't you just tell him what you're actually doing?" asked Naruto as Ichigo passed him.

"My Dad isn't spiritually aware. He's just stupid. It would be better for him not to know about any of this stuff. He'd just worry."

Ichigo and Rukia disappeared into the next room, leaving Naruto behind who blinked in his confusion.

"But he can see me just fine?"

Ichigo was not happy with his training. For such a small kid Ururu had one hell of a punch. He had no doubt at all that if she landed a hit she would kill him. So he ran and ran like his life depended on it, all to the amusement of a certain shopkeeper.

"Hey Rukia can you hold Yoyo for me please?"

Naruto had come in, without any of them noticing either. Rukia gave him a look but did as asked, taking the small black cat and allowing it to curl up in her arms.

"Hey Mr Hat can you get me out of this thing please," said Naruto to Kisuke, pointing at his body.

Urahara simply nodded before tapping his head with his Cain, expelling Naruto from his Gigai.

"What are you doing Naruto?" asked Urahara. Whatever it was he was sure it wasn't going to be good.

"Well, the thing is that while saving Rukia that day was all well and good, we're all at the mercy of soul society right now. I doubt picking up Rukia is there top priority right now, but next time they'll send a captain without the limiter. If that doesn't work then two captains and so on. It won't take them long to find this place. Strawberry might not have enough time to finish his training so I figured I could go and stall for time."

Urahara frowned. "You're going to soul society? I'm not sure if that's the best idea. Plus it will take me about seven days to open a gate even if you did want to go."

Naruto nodded.

"That's fine I can make my own way. Gargantua can g pretty much anywhere you know, it's just most hollows aren't stupid enough to take it to soul society. Some still do go there though. I'm pretty sure I can get in undetected. I figure if I raise a little chaos I should be able to keep them focused on me. I should be able to keep them occupied for at least a week."

Urahara raised an eyebrow.

"Confident aren't you."

Naruto grinned.

"Yep!"

"Well then get going. You are right, we need all the time we could get. If they'd managed to take Rukia we'd have been given a month to prepare but as it is, they can attack us now whenever they like. Good luck Naruto."

Naruto gave a mock solute.

"Be right back."

And then he reached out and seemed to claw a black hole into existence. Without another word he stepped into it and was gone, the hole closing up behind him.

Just as Naruto left there was a gigantic explosion. Everyone looked over to see Ururu standing tall in front of a giant cloud of smoke.

"We missed it," whined Jinta. "I wonder if he's dead."

* * *

Meanwhile Naruto had appeared in Rokungai. He'd squashed down all of his reiatsu, suppressing it completely. He was a lot better at controlling reiatsu than he was chakra. Well he did have thousands of years to learn. He gave a sigh of relief. No Hollow alarms had been triggered. And he'd wound up quite close to the Seiretei.

"Now I just need to get in," he grinned.

It didn't take him long before he made his way over to the first gate where to his surprise a giant dropped down in front of him.

"Halt! I am Jidanbo, the gatekeeper!" None have ever made it passed me! Now state your name and purpose or I will destroy you!"

"Oh my name is Naruto. I have an appointment with Grandpa Yamamoto."

Jidonbo's eyebrows widened.

"You are related to the Captain Commander."

Naruto's foot suddenly crashed into his head, as he landed a rather powerful drop kick.

"Nope!" said Naruto cheerfully. "But he's really old so I call him grandpa."

Jidanbo couldn't hear. He'd fallen over unconscious, causing a small earthquake when he landed.

"Well I guess I'll just let myself in."

Naruto walked up to the gate and hooked his fingers under it. He gave a grunt of exertion as he pulled it up, allowing him to slip through underneath. He dropped it down again quietly, careful not to let it slam.

"Well that was easy. They really need better security. Well I'd better go find the head captain. We need to have a chat."

The captains were all in a meeting, discussing what to do about the current situation. Byakuya was insistent that if his limiter was released then the Hollow would not be a problem, but Mayuri was arguing that a containment team should be sent to capture such a unique Hollow so he could perform some of his tests. Zaraki wanted to go because he wanted to fight the Hollow and strangely enough Shunsui, who said there was something he wanted to check out. Aizen also wished to go, saying he wished to meet such a strange hollow for himself. Yamamoto had been oddly quiet on the matter, allowing his subordinates to argue it out. This continued for about ten minutes before the head captains voice suddenly rung out.

"I know you're there. Reveal yourself."

The captains stopped arguing as they gave the commander a look. They couldn't feel anybody. But someone did appear, in the centre of the room. And no sooner did he appear than he was rushed by Byakuya and strangely by Kaname. But the two captains were stopped when Yamamoto shouted out once more.

"Halt!"

Both captains did so, their blades mere inches away from a still grinning Naruto.

"Naruto Uzumaki. I did not think we would ever meet again."

Naruto flashed him a big smile.

"Nice to see you too Grandpa!"

Then he looked around the room.

"Blimey it's like this is your life in here. Hi Big Sis, hi uncle Jushiro, hi Uncle Shunsui. And four eyes good to see ya again. You too Cheese grin, and I'm sorry Mr Blind person, I'm still trying to come up with a none-offensive nickname for you."

The first three captains mentioned bowed their heads in greeting to Naruto, but the later three did not.

"Cheese grin," mumbled Gin. "Couldn't he have come up with something better?"

"Alright so I seem to know most of you guys but for those who don't I'll introduce myself."

He hoped backwards, away from the two captains adopting his kabuki stance.

"Among the spiritual planes, I have been given many names. Some worship me as a god and others hunt me as the devil. I am the man who makes Harems seem legitimately possible. With just a flash of my sexiness any girl will drop at my feet, and with just a flash of my awesomeness any man will back away from battle with me. I am-"

And at this point he released his reiatsu allowing it to wash over the captains and revealing his status as a Hollow to those who weren't aware.

"The prankster god of Huecco Mundo, Naruto Uzumaki! Believe it!"

Most of the captains were visibly stunned. Some because of the tacky introduction and others because they couldn't believe he was a Hollow. However one captain was not stunned. Retsu Unohana, without ever dropping her disarming smile had saddled up to Naruto, and smacked him on top of his head, causing him to drop down and smack his head of the ground.

"Ow, big Sis what was that for?"

She raised an eyebrow at him.

"Legitimately possible Harem? My, what have you been up to Naruto?"

"Err," he replied, seemingly stuck for words. "That was a Joke."

"As it should be," Unohana answered back pleasantly before shaking her hand out. "You have a very hard head."

"Yeah, it's my anti violent girl defence."

Suddenly he felt a wash of killer intent wash over him.

"Who's a violent girl," Unohana all but hissed, although her smile didn't drop one bit.

"Uhm, not you Big Sis."

Unohana nodded her head happily.

"Good I thought as much."

Seemingly done with scolding Naruto, Unohana turned around and retook her position in the line-up of captains.

"While this has all been very entertaining Uzumaki, what exactly are you doing here, and why did you prevent Captain Kuchiki from arresting a fugitive."

Naruto stood up, rubbing his head. Unohana had a mean swing.

"Because she's not a fugitive. Rukia didn't do anything wrong. Although I really just beat Byakuya up because of his attitude. People should treasure their family, not actively seek to kill their friends. Which reminds me that guy totally tried to murder Strawberry. Aren't there laws against that?"

"Not if he tried to interfere in the mission."

Naruto frowned.

"Oh come on Grandpa he was just trying to help his friend out. Nothing bad has happened. She just saved four lives, and apparently she's going to be executed for it."

Yamamoto narrowed his eyes… or he would have if they weren't already narrowed.

"How do you know about that order? No such information as to Rukia Kuchiki's punishment had been given at the time Captain Kuchiki had been sent to apprehend her."

Naruto realized he had screwed up a bit. How was he going to answer without implicating Urahara. Well how about half the truth. That never hurts.

"You're being played Grandpa. Think about it. You don't think Rukia deserves such a bad punishment either do you."

Yamamoto took his time answering. He realized that Naruto had dodged the question but didn't try to follow up on it. He knew that if Naruto was holding information back then nothing short of a hostage would make him give it up.

"My opinion does not matter. These orders come from central forty-six, whose power was given onto them by the spirit king himself."

"But isn't the fact they would give such an order suspicious? Think about it Grandpa. It serves no purpose. It's far too harsh a punishment for much too small a crime. Plus she's a noble! And what kind of message is it going to send out to the other shinigami? Rukia's actions saved four lives, five if you include her own. The punishment doesn't make any sense unless there's an ulterior motive. And if there's an ulterior motive then it's not Justice, its greed. And I never mistook you for someone who would confuse the two. Are you really going to let this go through Grandpa?"

Before Yamamoto could answer Gin stepped forward, after catching a look from Aizen.

"Forgive me Head Captain but I've been wandering this for a while now. Why are we listening to this Hollow? And why are we not trying to kill it?"

Gin was not prepared for the wave of killing intent that suddenly rose up from three different captains, namely Ukitaki, Shunsui and Unohana.

"The reason for this is simple Captain Ichimaru. One thousand years ago this Hollow before you saved over two hundred shinigami from a horrible fate. Admittedly I attacked him anyway at the time but after five hours of failing to do any damage at all, I gave up. Plus Captain Ukitaki and Captain Shunsui were nagging at me to stop the entire time."

Gin raised an eyebrow.

"Not Captain Unohana? She seems rather protective of him."

"Oh quite the contrary she was trying to help me kill him."

She was the original Kenpachi after all and she'd been rather impressed with his power.

"Well the results of that night was that many shinigami decided to have a party and Naruto was invited. I do remember banning you from the Seiretei the next morning though Naruto."

Naruto frowned.

"Oh come on Grandpa, it was a joke."

"Yes but it took three months to clean up."

Naruto just mumbled something about no-one appreciating a good joke.

"I thought you would have forgotten about it by now."

"I do not forget these things Naruto."

Naruto pouted before he suddenly shook his head.

"We're getting off topic, look you need to look into this. Like now. Just go and ask Central 46 for their reasons, that's all I'm asking. Oh and order all the captains to stay here as well."

Yamamoto was actually about to consider what Naruto had said when he caught on to the implications of his last statement.

"Did you just imply we have a traitor in our midst, Naruto?" he asked. His voice was completely calm but you could feel the anger behind it.

"Urrrrm," Naruto said, considering the best way to answer the question. "Maybe one or two? But I have no proof and I can guarantee they could come up with an alibi so no point in pointing fingers."

Yamamoto considered Naruto's words before remembering something else. When he had come in, Naruto had greeted three captains he knew should not have met him. Kaname Tosen, Gin Ichimaru and Aizen Sosuke. He greeted all three of them even though he should never have met them.

'It's not really proof. He could have just picked those three at random and then come up with nicknames for them on the spot. But this wouldn't be the first time that Aizen has been implicated.'

"Head Captain you cannot seriously believe the words of a Hollow can you?" asked Tosen. "He could simply be here by the order of another Hollow to use your trust in him to spread some anarchy and discord throughout the soul society."

"Regardless of any accusations he does raise a good point," said Ukitake. "If you think about it the punishment of my subordinate decided by Central forty-six does more harm than good. But none of us have put much thought into why Central forty-six would make a decision. I confess I simply assumed they had become high on power and didn't think more of it."

Yamamoto levelled a glare at Ukitaki for his disrespect but didn't comment.

"I agree that an enquiry should be made into this decision and as per Naruto's suggestion I see no harm in the rest of us waiting here for the head captain to return."

Ukitake smiled around at the rest of the captains. There really was no good reason to not do as he suggested.

"Indeed, I second this suggestion," said Aizen pleasantly. He was a little stuck here. He never thought that a Hollow would simply waltz in here and start tearing his plans apart. But all was not yet lost. He had a few more tricks to play. "However the Central has been acting strange as of late. I was rather curious as to the circumstances of the execution myself and decided to seek an audience. However I was refused entry. They are not allowing anyone in until a full two weeks after the set execution date of Rukia Kuchiki. Of course it would be good if they were to make an exception for the head captain, but I'm afraid things may not go as smoothly as you seek."

Yamamoto gave a small nod.

"Very well. I will take Captain Ukitake's advice."

It escaped no one's notice he chalked it up to Ukitake rather than Naruto.

"I will return soon. In the meantime no one is to leave this room."

Yamamoto raised his cane and hit it off the ground once. After that he turned and hobbled out of the room. His walking speed was slow, befitting of an old man. You would never have guessed he was the most powerful of all soul reapers.

There was silence for a few minutes after Yamamoto left. But it was soon broken by Kenpachi.

"So then Naruto. I heard you were pretty strong. Wanna fight?"

He gave Naruto the biggest shit eating grin he could muster.

"Did you say we have to take lessons?" asked Orihime. She and Chad had been called together and were met by a cat.

"That's correct," answered Yoruichi. "In order to help your friend Ichigo you're going to need to train. My lessons are quite strict."

"Sure let's do lessons!" Orihime replied cheerily. So what if she's a cat? Right now I'm being taught by Fairies.

"Good, follow me then," said Yoruichi before trotting off. Orihime quickly followed.

Chad was left standing by himself.

"Orihime answered too quickly. That cat just randomly walked up to us. And they didn't even wait for my answer."

**Omake: How Naruto met Ichigo's mother**

Masaki Kurosaki was walking home one day when she came across a rather peculiar sight. The was a young man with messy blond hair and a brown cloak who was seemingly standing in mid-air painting her adoptive aunts mansion neon green. She was amazed though because although she could see the man, she couldn't feel him. She just didn't register to her senses.

'He's keeping quite the lid on his reiatsu,' she thought. But then so was she. She'd had to learn to smother he reiatsu so she could sneak out of the mansion without getting caught. So by being as quiet as possible she was able to sneak up on the man without him noticing, close enough to hear him sniggering to himself.

"This will teach those Quincies not to be so high strung. Especially that old grandma. Someone really needs to pull the stick out her ass. Maybe painting the roof neon purple will help."

Masaki couldn't stop herself from giggling. She tried moving her hand to her mouth to stop herself but she wasn't quick enough. The man heard her and quickly spun around.

"Wow, you snuck up on me. No one sneaks up on me! Well except for that cat but that is a really freaky cat I swear. It has powers I swear. Every time we play tag it's like it knows where I am. You'd think it could sense me the way it follows me round."

Masaki had to supress another giggle as the Man went off on a complete tangent apparently quickly forgetting she was even there. So she'd have to remind him.

"My name's Misaki. Misaki Kurosaki. What's yours?" she asked politely.

Naruto stopped his rant to grin at her.

"Did you just ask who I am? Well I'll tell you!"

He jumped into the air and spun. When he stopped his legs were apart and his right arm was straight with the fingers curled and his left was held out in the air.

"Listen up, and do not be deterred if you find you cannot take your eyes of me. It is a common occurrence when one gazes on my awesomeness. Whether you be Shinigami or Hollow, Human or Quincy there are none who have not at least heard legends of my deeds. Yes my legend is carried by the tongue of many, so do not be surprised if you've heard of me. I am the great man who has travelled the desserts of Huecco Mundo from one side to the other, bringer terror and laughter all at once. Those who hear of me shy and cower away knowing they cannot stand up to my greatness. Who am I you ask? I am the Prankster god of Huecco Mundo, Naruto Uzumaki. Believe it!"

Masaki stood silent for a moment. This was a Hollow. He was still keeping his reiatsu compress but she could see the hollow hole. Plus all that talk about Huecco Mundo was a big give away. But despite this, Masaki just raised an eyebrow.

"You really need to work on that."

Naruto dropped his arms and held an expression of disbelief.

"Eh?"

"You need to practice," Masaki continued. "The words didn't flow together well and you didn't say them right."

"I didn't?" Naruto asked. "Wow, no one has ever gave me criticism before. Well what else do you think was wrong with it?"

Masaki put her finger to her chin in a thinking pose.

"Weeeell there were a few other things. Tell you what, I'm going to go inside and get changed and then I'm going out for lunch. In the mean time you finish painting the house, love the colours by the way, and then come with me and we'll go over it. Okay?"

Naruto gave a wide grin and an enthusiastic nod.

"Sure that sounds great. Can we go get Ramen?"

Masaki tilted her head in thought.

"You're a Hollow right? Can you eat ramen?"

Naruto nodded his head vigorously.

"Ramen surpasses all racial, religious and spiritual barriers. It is just that awesome."

Masaki smiled. Then sure we can go get Ramen. Finish painting and then I'll be back out okay."

Naruto just grinned and nodded before grabbing his paint brush and continuing from where he left off.

Masaki headed inside with.

"Man I can't wait till Auntie learns about the house being painted. This will teach her to stop acting like a stuffy old vampire and actually go outside for once."

**Okay then, Omake's will be included every other chapter. Most will chronicle Naruto's meetings with other characters. Not all though. now I'm sure your all wondering about the results of the poll. Well so far I've had 149 unique voters, with a maximum of two votes each. And here are the results so far!**

**Yoruichi-63 votes**

**Nelliel-57 votes**

**Harribel-49 votes**

**Soi-Fon-33 votes**

**Rangiku-21 votes**

**Orihime-19 votes**

**Hiyori-12 votes**

**Momo-11 votes**

**No pairing-9 votes**

**Nemu-8 votes**

**Cirucci-2 votes**

**So far Yoruichi is in the lead. So if you wanted a particular pairing and it wasn't Yoruichi and you didn't vote... then this is entirely your fault. But fear not, there is still time. So best get your votes in now. **

**Next chapter- Will Naruto's plan work, or does Aizen have a back-up plan?**


	6. Get Set

**Okay guys I'm back. Sorry this took as long as it did (Which is like what, three or four days). I'm not going to say anything with the story!**

Yamamoto's pace was much quicker once he left the assembly hall. With a quick shunpo he was already halfway to the central forty six quarters. Within another moment, he was right outside the gate. Where he was met by a two guards squatting by the door.

'Strange, the guards are usually stationed inside,' thought Yamamoto, staring the men up and down. The guards were wearing a piece of green armour not dissimilar in style to what ancient samurai used to wear. One had black spiky hair and a small black goatee. He looked rather sleepy and didn't respond at all to his presence. He was leaning against the wall with his Zanpakuto leaning on his shoulder. The other had a mop of black hair hat covered the right side of his face leaving only the left side visible. Unlike his partner he acknowledged Yamamoto by standing up straight and giving him a nod.

Yamamoto remembered these two guards, although he hadn't seen either of them in over a thousand years. Guard Duty of Central forty six was usually conducted by high seated officers who would rotate on and off Duty every other Century. Only the most loyal of the shinigami would be offered the position. However these two were an anomaly who for some reason insisted on taking the position pretty much permanently. Their names were Kotetsu Hagane and Izumo Kamizuki.

"Captain Commander, we've been expecting you," said Izumo, the one who was actually standing.

Yamamoto raised an eyebrow. Why were they expecting him exactly?

"I'm not entirely sure on the details but the Central has become aware that a humanoid Hollow has entered Soul Society illegally. The Central does not know why nothing has been done about it and they are ordering you to capture said Hollow at all costs, failing that destroy it. A Hell Butterfly will be sent soon with confirmation of these orders.

Yamamoto bristled. If those were his orders he would obey them. But in truth he did not want to act against Naruto.

Kotetsu then surprised him by standing up.

"They're going off on one in there Captain Commander Sir," he said quietly. "They don't like the fact that the captains are questioning their orders. They might start throwing accusations of treasons soon sir. I'm sorry there's not anything else I can do but warn you about it."

Yamamoto nodded. These two were good shinigami. They did their jobs, even if they complained a lot. But still…

"How exactly are the Central aware of what goes on in the captains meeting?" asked Yamamoto in an authorative tone.

The guards just gave a shrug.

"I'm sorry, we don't know sir. We just got called in and then commanded to wait out here. That's all I can tell you sir."

Yamamoto was silent for a moment.

"I see. I am actually here to request the reason behind the harshness of Rukia Kuchiki's chosen punishment. I seek an audience with the central in regards to this matter. As the Captain Commander of the Gotei Thirteen they will see me," he said, a dangerous tone in his voice.

The guards started sweating a little but Izumo shook his head.

"They gave us a response to this too sir. They said that right now they no longer trust the Gotei Thirteen and that until a later date where they once again feel they can trust you, you can't seek an audience sir."

Yamamoto bristled.

"What rubbish is this? We have done nothing to earn their distrust. Our concerns are perfectly justified and warranted considering the situation," he barked, causing the two guards to take a step back.

"I'm sorry sir but there's really nothing I can do," said Izumo, who was definitely feeling the Captain Commanders… irritation.

Yamamoto growled but quickly turned on his feet.

"Very well, but when this is over, I want a damn good reason for all of this. The Gotei Thirteen are losing credibility among its shinigami. It could very well cause dis-unity amongst the ranks."

He hit his cane on the ground before hobbling off.

The two guards watched him go before settling down again. There was silence between the two for a few moments before Kotetsu spoke up.

"Don't you think we have the best job ever?" he asked without a trace of sarcasm.

Izumo frowned.

"No, It sucks and it's boring as hell," he answered back. "But I somehow feel comfortable here. Maybe we were gate guards in a past life."

Kotetsu nodded his head.

"Maybe," he agreed. "Wanna play I-spy?"

Izumo rolled his eyes but nodded.

* * *

Yamamoto didn't use shunpo since he wasn't looking forward to going back. He decided to take his time. This was probably the closest to being childish he was going to get. But after an hour had trickled by he ended up back in front of the meeting hall of the Gotei thirteen.

"What on earth happened?"

It looked like it had been destroyed. One of the doors had been blasted open and the other had flown off its hinges. The walls had been destroyed and the ceiling had been reduced to rubble and the floor and remainder of the walls were covered n scratches. Yamamoto gave a sigh.

"That's right. I left Naruto in there and took an hour getting back."

None the less he hobbled inside to find that the floor had been cleared of all rubble and the captains were all still standing in their places. He noticed that Kenpachi had a very wide grin on his face and seemed to be covered with several cuts and bruises and was bleeding all over the floor. He also noticed that Kurotsuchi's face seemed to have been burned half off, and his hayori was nowhere to be seen. His clothes also looked to be rather singed. He also noticed that Naruto was also sporting a large grin and there was a bit of blood splatter on his cloak. Other than that he didn't seem any worse for wear.

Yamamoto hobbled to his position at the front of the room paying no attention to the rubble surrounding them. He took his place and stared around at all of his captains.

"What exactly has transgressed here," he asked with a weary sigh. Unohana with her ever present smile decided to step forward to explain.

"Well Captain Zaraki challenged Naruto to a fight, which Naruto eagerly accepted. The fight eventually ended after the majority of the room was destroyed and Captain Kuchiki attempted to restrain or kill them, I'm not entirely sure which with his Zanpakuto."

Yamamoto raised an eyebrow. Was it possible that the captain had actually lost his temper? It would explain the scratch marks on the floor.

"Afterwards the two settled down on account of Captain Zaraki's Zanpakuto being broken. Naruto proceeded to give captain Zaraki a lecture on the importance of bonds, Ramen and ones relationship with their Zanpakuto. Afterwards Captain Kurotsuchi offered Naruto infinite free Ramen in exchange for becoming a test subject. Naruto originally seemed very tempted by the deal before I pointed out that Kurotsuchi is the type to sew your mouth shut then place the Ramen in front of you so you can't eat it, and then observe the lengths you'll go to in order to be able to consume the ramen. Naruto then accused Captain Kurotsuchi of being a man named Orichimaru's illegitimate love child. Insults were soon exchanged and this quickly escalated into another fight. Captain Zaraki got excited and once again joined in the fight. It ended just a short while ago due to the ceiling caving in. We all shifted the rubble and opted to wait in silence until you once again joined us."

There was silence as Yamomoto processed all he'd been told. He gave a sigh. Truthfully after he gave his next order the ruin of the meeting hall would be the least of his problems.

"This matter will be dealt with at a later date," he declared, surprising everyone there. They were all sure they were going to get scolded. "I have received orders from Central forty-six. Naruto Uzumaki. You are to be captured and detained. This order is for all captains."

Yamamoto had barely finished talking, and Naruto was barely finished gaping like a fish when Tosen shot forward, his sword at the ready.

"At last I will no longer have to tolerate your presence," he whispered as he swung his Zanpakuto in an ark. His orders were to capture of course and he swung low, instantly slicing through Naruto's legs.

"It's over," he said calmly. But then, although he could not see it, the Naruto he cut poofed out of existence.

"You're right it is over," said three voices surrounding him at once. Instantly confused as to where his opponent was coming from Tosen managed to block a strike from his right but was not in time to stop the clone underneath him kicking him into the air. And second clone appeared kicking him even higher. Finally the really Naruto appeared above Tosen ready to kick him back down.

"Time for Uzumaki barrage!" he cried. But he was interrupted.

"Shoot to kill Shinso."

It was Gin, whose blade instantly extended at high speed, forcing Naruto to abandon his assault on Tosen. The blade impacted with Naruto sending him flying backwards, seemingly impaled on the sword. But when the blade stopped expanding the shinigami were shown a rather interesting sight.

"Did he catch it with his teeth?" asked Hitsugaya, in a mixture of shock, awe and surprise.

"Mat va a chep fot," came Naruto's muffled voice. He released the blade form his teeth and disappeared into a sonido, instantly appearing behind Gin. "But that's okay, I can do those too."

"What the-," said Gin completely surprised by Naruto's speed. He'd barely been able to see him move, and was able to dodge the kick that was aimed at his head due to his instincts alone. Aizen was next, as he was standing right next to Gin, and swung his blade down. Naruto vaulted backwards, avoiding the blade by an inch, Tosen had finally regained his footing and charged at Naruto, just as Aizen stuck his hand out.

"Bakudo sixty-one, Rikujokuro," came Aizen's calm voice.

Six rods of light appeared around Naruto and shot towards him. But just as they were about to impact Naruto flickered briefly before disappearing. But then in his places appeared Tosen. The six rods slammed into his mid-section and Aizen's eyes actually widened in surprise.

"DYNAMIC ENTRY!" shouted, Naruto, who appeared out of nowhere and drop kicked the now bound Kaname Tosen with quite a bit of force.

"One down!" shouted Naruto cheerfully, before poofing out of existence. Behind where he once stood was an irritated Soi-Fon.

"Damnit, I thought I timed that perfectly," she cursed.

"It was pretty good timing actually" commented Naruto who seemed to appear beside her and slung an arm around her shoulder. "But it's pretty hard to sneak up on me."

Soi-fon was rather startled, although she didn't allow her face to show it. She hadn't felt his presence at all. He could have killed her just then. But she didn't let that stop her. She aimed a kick for his ankle attempting to sweep him of his feet. But Naruto hoped backwards just out of range. Soi-fon shot forwards, aiming a kick for the head which was blocked by Naruto. She followed up with a shunpo allowing her to appear behind him. She stabbed her Zanpakuto forward at the same time Naruto flipped backwards. But his cloak was still in front of her blocking her vision, and when it finally moved she was surprised to find another Naruto moving towards her with its fist cocked back and ready to punch her. Except Kaname had found his way back onto his feet. He dashed forwards and cut the Naruto clone in half before it could land its attack.

He growled having missed another opportunity to land a blow on the elusive blond.

"Are we really going to do this Gramps?" asked Naruto, who had once again reappeared in the centre of the room. "We've done this song and dance before and we know how it goes."

Yamamoto inwardly agreed. He already knew how this was going to end. In massive property damage. He was the only one here capable of capturing Naruto. Not because Naruto was ridiculously powerful, which he very well may be although he honestly didn't know, but because it was next to impossible to land a good hit on the brat. Last time it had taken him five hours to land a seemingly decisive blow to the blond, and even then he just regenerated. And if Naruto decides to flee it's next to impossible to stop him and it'll take a long while to find him. He was already aware before he gave the order that capturing Naruto was a near impossible task. But those were the orders given by Central Forty Six and impossible or not he had to carry them out.

"Yes Brat, we really are going to do this. These orders come from Central Forty Six. We are obligated to carry them out."

Naruto just let out a sigh.

"You're going to regret this gramps."

And then he disappeared into a puff of smoke, as Soi-fon appeared behind him and stabbed through the clone.

"Is it ever the real one," she hissed.

As soon as she finished hissing a paintball shot straight passed her head. It impacted on the wall behind Yamamoto. Interestingly after it splattered the paint ran down the wall leaving a message made of red paint.

Yamamoto turned slowly to read the message.

'_I said you're going to regret your decision Grandpa, and you know I always keep my word. And yes I had this message set up in advance in case things went south. Prepare yourself Grandpa. Your about to relive the horror of my pranking spree. I have a message for every single one of you. Except you big sis. You don't know when it will happen, or even where but rest assured I will get you. I will prank you so hard your descendants from a thousand years in the future will still be able to feel your embarrassment._

_Best regards_

_Naruto Uzumaki_

_The Prankster God of Huecco Mundo_

_P.s how awesome is this paint message? Its kind like one of those dying messages off those murder shows but it's portable. If you think someone trying to kill you just keep one on you and bam, instant dying message. Come on, it's cool right?'_

Yamamoto gave a sigh.

"It seems we have a situation. Rukia Kuchiki's capture is no longer a priority. Captain's and Vice Captains are to remain within the Sereitei until further notice. We will need all of the manpower we have to stand a chance of capturing Naruto before he does any real damage to the Sereitei," came Yamamoto's booming voice.

Aizen stepped forwards.

"Is this really necessary?" he asked. "Surely one Hollow cannot pose that much of a threat."

Yamamoto turned his head to gaze at Aizen.

The last time Naruto was here he managed to cripple soul society in one night. Although no real damage was caused, most of our facilities were nonoperational, whether because we could no longer find the doors or because the toilets were clogged. Soul Society was in a weakened state for three full months while we undid all of Naruto's so call pranks. This is what Naruto did in one night. I shudder to think what he's capable of now that he's actually trying. We can afford to leave Rukia Kuchiki in the living world for now."

Aizen bowed his head, stepping backwards. He remembered when he first met the Hollow and had tried to coax him to his side. It was not his fondest memory, and Gin had still not let him live it down. It was the first time he'd ever been brought down to the level of an ordinary being. The first time he'd ever been someone to laugh at.

"Well if that is all I think I will inform my division," said Unohana. The Captains turned to look at her, and some of them jumped back in chock. Even Byakuya's eyes widened slightly. Unohana was _frowning._ There was not a trace of the usual smile that she normally wears anywhere on her face. There was silence as she left the room, not looking back at any of them.

Meanwhile, Naruto was watching the captains from a distance. Despite how far away they were Naruto had somehow managed to hear every single word said.

"Well Strawberry, I've managed to buy you a little time. You better make the most of it. But in the meantime, I got pranks to pull. I've been looking forward to this. Heh, I'm getting goosebumps."

* * *

Rukia was worried. Very worried. Ichigo was down in that pit and somehow he had to become a soulreaper before he hollowfied. How the hell he was supposed to do that she honestly didn't know. More than half his time had already been used up, and no visible progress had been made, although it was quite amusing to watch Jinta spit down at Ichigo. But still it was all her fault. Ichigo was doing this to protect her. But if he failed then… well maybe he'll get lucky and turn out like Naruto?

She considered the possibility, imagining an Ichigo in her head with a brown cloak, a goofy grin and a can of spray paint.

She frowned.

On second thought, one Naruto was more than enough.

"Oh ho, Miss Kuchiki you are the dedicated one," came Kisuke Uruhara's voice from behind her. She turned around to see the annoying enigmatic man walking casually towards her, his cane in hand and his fan held out in front of his face. "Staying but Ichigo's side all day and night. Why you'd almost think you were married to the boy."

Rukia allowed some red to rise to her cheeks but otherwise didn't rise to the bait.

"Urahara, what are Ichigo's chances of getting through this?" she asked with a worried tone in her voice.

Urahara put the fan away realising this was no time for jokes.

"I'm afraid that Ichigo's chances depend entirely on himself. This is a test that has many answers. Ichigo has to find his own. This pit not only speeds up the encroachment but it isolates him, forces him to confront the only being he can. Himself. For now we can only wait and see.

"Rukia gave a quick nod of her head.

"Is there any chance that he could turn out like Naruto, even if he failed?" she asked somewhat hopefully. Hey better annoying than dead.

But Urahara shook his head.

"Naruto originally looked like such a complex puzzle. A hollow who retained his humanity, right from the beginning. He never even had a Hollow form. But once you get the information from him thinks become clearer."

Rukia turned her head.

"What do you mean?"

Urahara's signature grin returned.

"When a Hollow turns into an Arrancar, their form changes to that of a human appearance and their hollow form along with most of their power is sealed away. But Naruto never had a Hollow form. He's not even an Arrancar. So how can he have a Zanpakuto?"

Rukia blinked a few times. Actually that was a damn good question. She remembered him saying he had an actual Zanpakuto spirit. Could it have something to do with that?

"Allow me to ask you a question Miss Kuchiki. What do you think a Zanpakuto spirit is?"

"It is a part of one's self," she answered instantly. "An extension of one's soul that is in tune with a spirit."

Urahara nodded his head. "Very good Miss Kuchiki. Now let me ask you another question. You gave this part of yourself to Ichigo. You gave him all of your spiritual power. Yet if not for my Gigai, you would have eventually reclaimed your own. Tell me, how would your spiritual powers regenerate from nothing?"

Okay now Rukia was really confused. It was a good question really, and she honestly couldn't claim to know why her powers would regenerate, just that they would.

"The answer Miss Kuchiki is because even of it's not with you, your powers are always right in front of you, with someone you trust. Someone to whom you have entrusted your soul, and through this you are still linked to your own spiritual powers and slowly reclaim them."

"Okay," said Rukia, nodding slowly. She sorta got that.

"Naruto is the same," Urahara continued. "Although he lost a part of himself when he hollowed, he somehow managed to leave it with someone else. This part of him that, although separate to him now was still with him, still fulfilling him became what all separated souls become. His Zanpakuto. I'm still not sure how this is possible, how he managed to keep something he should have lost but none the less it is the truth. Naruto keeps himself in his Zanpakuto, and for this reason he can retain his sense of self."

Rukia's eyes widened at what Urahara was saying.

"But if that's true, couldn't I keep Ichigo's missing self?" she asked. "If we are linked through my spiritual power then that should be possible, right?"

Urahara waved his fan in front of him again.

"Ma, it might have been before. However, your spiritual power no longer resides in Ichigo. It was ejected when Byakuya cut Ichigo's Saketsu Chain, a chain that linked him to you; he severed the bond between your souls. He's on his own now."

* * *

Captain Soi-Fon of the second division was getting really annoyed. Honestly how hard can it be to capture one Hollow? According to Captain Kurotsuchi, very. According to his analysis, Naruto had two main abilities. One was the ability to replicate himself, although these replications weren't very sturdy. The other was the ability to switch himself with other objects. Kurotsuchi theorised that Naruto uses these abilities in tandem. By creating the clones in key positions, making excellent use of his stealth skills, he switches with them at the last moment, result in a failed attempt at injuring him, and leaving himself in a key position to strike. For this reason, he said a captain should not engage him by themselves. When fighting Naruto, someone else should locate the clone and prepare to attack the second he switches.

There was only two problems with this plan so far. It worked the first time they managed to find him, pouring pink dye into the tenth division's washing machine. Captain Hitsuguya, with the help of Captain Tosen, was able to land a hit to the hollows arm. However it regenerated almost instantly afterwards, and after that, the Hollow took to creating several clones at a time. He could switch with any of them.

With a heavy sigh, Soi-Fon strode into the base of the Onmitsukido, deciding to inform her lieutenant of the situation. But upon entering she was rather surprised and rather angry to find the majority of her forces running around in green spandex with orange leg warmers.

"You, Kotetsu. Report. What the hell are you wearing and why the hell is everyone else wearing it too."

Kotetsu stopped in front of his captain and gulped.

"Captain, sir, the majority of our forces clothing is missing. In their place only these uniforms remained. Also sir for some reason the clothing we were wearing began to deteriorate. There seems to be a chemical of sorts in the training room that causes clothing to loosen and begin itching sir."

Soi-Fon smacked her forehead with her hand. This was definitely the handiwork of that Hollow. How could the stealth forces operate now? They were a vibrant green for kami's sake.

Soi-Fon was then treated to one of the most horrifying and mind scarring sights she had ever seen, when her Lieutenant Marechiyo Omaeda came saddling out of a room to her left, the large man having somehow also managed to squeeze into a green spandex suit.

"Hmm, you know these are actually rather form fitting," he said as he munched on some crisps. "I think I may have a set made. Although it should be in a colour more befitting of my regal status. A sparkling gold perhaps."

It took everything Soi-Fon had not to faint from the mental image right then and there.

Meanwhile outside of the base, perched in a tree, Naruto was perched and smiling happily. He put his hands together and gave a bow in the direction of the base.

"Worry not Guy-Sensei. Your youthful legacy will live on," he muttered happily.

* * *

Byakuya had just returned home to his mansion. He had no idea what to think about the hollow. It did of course infuriate him. It had humiliated him after all, defeating him so easily in the human world. But for a moment there things had looked promising. No matter how cold he may appear he did not want his sister to die. He'd promised Hisana to look after her after all. And if nothing else the search for her had been post-poned. Yes he was having mixed feeling for the hollow right now. Up until he caught sight of his mansion.

The entire mansion had been painted orange. From the walls to the roof, even the grass and the tree's. There was also a fox head that was winking at him painted on to the side of his house. If that wasn't enough, there was underwear hanging from every window. No doubt the elders would throw a fit. If that wasn't enough a good portion of the garden had been destroyed. But if he stood back enough he would notice that it was actually words, which had been made by digging up the garden. A very simple message stated "Orange is an awesome colour. It will help make you more stuffy nobles more lively!"

"Byakuya!" came a bark from the door of the mansion.

Byakuya looked up to see one of the clan elders looking at him with an expression of absolute fury and… why was he wearing orange robes.

"We have a situation. The Elders, including myself wish to know just what the hell is going on!"

Byakuya raised an eyebrow, but showed no emotion on his face. He simply followed the Elder back into the house, where he discovered that the inside too had been painted a vibrant orange.

'The Hollow is going to die,' he thought to himself.

**Okay that's all for now. Chapter seven will hopefully be up tomorrow but I'm making no promises about eight, although it will cronical another adventure of Masaki and Naruto.**

**I'm sure you're wandering about the current state of the poll. Well I wanted to have a few words about that. Obviously You all support a particular pairing, or no pairing in some cases. But some off you also disagree with certain pairing happening at all, a lot of peaople saying because they're overdone or they'll never work. If a pairings over done, that just means a lot of people enjoy. If a pairing doesn't work... it'll be done anyway. I've seen people do NarutoxMei Terumi and I don't think that will ever work yet it occasionally can. So regardless of anything really, i'll be sticking by the poll results, since otherwise there would be no point in putting them up. I realise at the end a lot of people may be disappointed but I can't cater to everybody, nor do I really want to. This isn't such a serious fic, but every character will have their moment. They don't need to be in the pairing to be important to the fic. **

**Well now taht that's finished, here are the current poll results.**

** -Yoruichi**

**-Nel**

**-Harribel**

**-Soi Fon**

**-Rangiku**

**-Orihime**

**-Nemu**

**-Momo**

**-Nopairing**

**-Hiyori**

**-Cirucci**

**The reason I haven't put the number of votes each character has is because i don't want anyone to be put of or think it's impossible for a character to cathc. It's not. There have been over three hundred voters so far. Even though the order is more or less the same as it was before that doesn't mean it always stays that way. A lot of the time, a certain pairing briefly overtakes another. So put your votes in, support your favorite paring and give me all your cookies. I'm poor and I need to eat.**


	7. Banana! Just kidding, Go!

**Hi guys what's up. I'm sure I had something important to state this chapter but I forgot what it is. Personally this is the chapter i've enjoyed writing most so far. Hopefully all you guys enjoy it too.**

Naruto had to be very, _very _careful with this next prank. It was time to fulfill the dream. Do what none other had ever done before. He was going to prank Genryusai Shigekuni Yamamoto. The head captain and founder of the Gotei thirteen. An unmovable and unstoppable force. Naruto had found out all those years ago that the only way to beat Yamamoto was to acknowledge that. You can't stop him so don't try. You can't move him so don't try. Although Naruto was glad he could claim at least eight of the hundred scars that littered the old man's body as being inflicted by him, he could never actually claim to have the ability to defeat the old man, he could outlast him, and at least inflict minor injuries. Well he might be able to do more if he released, but best not too. His release was not best suited for… well anything really.

Naruto eyed his target warily from a distance. Yamamoto alone has the ability to sense him if he gets to close. He had no idea how. He snuffed out his own reiatsu signature so completely he shouldn't register on anything, but Yamamoto could tell when he was there. Which was why he had to be very careful. He couldn't prank Yamamoto directly. It had to be done from a distance. Something that had to be triggered. It wouldn't be enough to just paint the old man's house while he was away, oh no. Anyone could do that. But he wanted to prank the old man directly. Something he could tell future generations of Uzumaki's, if he ever sired any… if he could actually sire any… with pride.

As far as Naruto was concerned there was only one way to go. He had to attack the old man's hair. He wasn't just going to dye the beard a different colour. That wouldn't be enough. He was better than that. The old man was deserving of so much more than something so simple. But he had to plan this out. He had to make the old man immobile. It just had to be a second, where he can get close. Naruto grinned to himself. He could do this. He had a plan, and he was going to make it work. He was Naruto Uzumaki, the prankster god of Huecco Mundo. And he was going to prank the head captain of the soul society, the strongest shinigami in existence. Believe it!"

* * *

"_Face forward."_

"_Advance."_

"_Don't give an Inch."_

"_Retreat and you will age."_

"_Be afraid and you will die."_

"_Shout… my name!"_

"ZANGETSU!"

An enormous explosion of spiritual power exploded from Ichigo. Urahara Kisuke simply stood and weathered it, but Tessai took the two kids to take shelter behind a rock, keeping them safe from the sand and dust that was whipping around them. Rukia had stayed though, choosing to weather the storm, although she had to hold her arms in front of her face and had been blown back a few feet.

When it finally settled, Ichigo was visible once more. Only gone was his broken Zanpakuto. In his hand now was a giant blade, with no hilt, and wrappings around the handle. The edge of the blade was silver and the rest was a dark grey, almost black. Ichigo stood, transfixed with his new blade.

"Excellent," cried Urahara happily. "You've unlocked your shikai and it looks like quite a unique one."

"Sorry Mr Urahara," said Ichigo. He sounded like he was struggling with something. "You'll evade it as best as you can right?"

Urahara frowned. He didn't like the sound of that.

"What?"

Ichigo raised his sword above his head.

"I probably… can't restrain it."

Ichigo swung the sword down.

Urahara eyes instantly widened.

"Scream Benihime," he yelled, holding his sword in front of him pointing to the ground. A red shield appeared in front of him, just in time to hold back a massive wave of blue energy that had appeared when Ichigo swung his blade. The power of the attack was enormous. Much more than Ichigo should be capable of. The attack tore through the ground without slowing down and slammed into the shield. The attack pretty much parted around the shield, but Urahara knew he wasn't out of the woods yet. His shield was beginning to crack. Another instant and the edge of his shield broke down, allowing a bit of the attack to break through the shield. Urahara moved his head to the side allowing him to survive unharmed. His hat wasn't so lucky. The attack finally died down, to reveal a cracked broken shield and an unharmed Urahara.

"If it wasn't for my shield I probably would have lost an arm," he muttered walking over to where his shredded hat lay. "Boy oh boy, you've killed my hat."

His face didn't show it but he was actually crying on the inside. He loved that hat. He'd have to get a new one.

"Well," he said looking behind him at the giant chasm that had been made by Ichigo's attack. "You passed lesson three."

* * *

There was something wrong. Yamomoto could feel it. As he walked the hallway towards the captains meeting. He was going to get the damage report for everything that had happened to soul society so far. Only a day had passed, and he already had shinigami down in the sewers fixing the plumbing. But now he was getting a bad feeling as he hobbled down the hallway. He knew something he didn't like was about to happen. And he was right when Naruto appeared before him, and he could feel the presence of another behind him.

"I'm here to end this Grandpa. A thousand years of dreaming ends today?"

Yamamoto raised an eyebrow. Despite his choice of words Naruto didn't sound like he was here to kill him.

"Naruto Uzumaki, you are under arrest," the old man said, as he slowly drew Ryujin Jakka. "Come quietly Naruto. I confess I have no desire to unnecessarily injure you."

Naruto grinned at him.

"Well that's great and all Grandpa, but the time has come. After today, I will be considered a true legend."

Naruto raised his hands and put them together, his fingers making a cross. A second later there were ten clones behind him blocking off the hall. He heard a poof of smoke behind him and figured that the one behind him had done the same thing.

"Alright Grandpa, prepare yourself!"

Naruto shot forward, his arm prepared to swing. Yamamoto swung his blade at a speed even Naruto could barely see. He abandoned his attack to dodge, and got in close to the old man, only he held a hand out. There was a bright flash as a ball of fire seemed to consume the Naruto in front of him. The boy through a black ball just before he was consumed. Yamamoto simply caught it although it exploded into his hand. It simply left some black paint there. But before he could ponder it, Naruto appeared above Yamamoto's head, a ball of blue energy in hand.

"Rasengan!"

Yamamoto didn't even bother looking up as he stabbed his Zanpakuto upwards through Naruto's abdomen. He knew it was a clone.

"Is this all you can do Naruto? You were a bigger challenge before."

If he'd bothered to look up he would have seen the grin on Naruto's face.

"Gottcha!"

Suddenly the clone exploded, showering Yamamoto with… glue.

Yamamoto shielded his eyes as he felt the substance splatter all around his head. He had not known that Naruto could create his clones using other substances.

Suddenly three more Naruto's were surrounding him, all poised to strike. He didn't have time to think, so Yamamoto swung his sword, bifurcating the lot of them. Only they too exploded in a shower of feathers. Yamamoto now realised what this was. Naruto was _pranking _him. He didn't know whether to feel furious or amused. He didn't really know what to do to stop Naruto though. He was boxed into the hall and destroying the clones was proving to not be a very good idea.

Another Naruto appeared in front of him ready to strike. Rather than destroying it the old man dodged, planning his next move.

"I'll burn them all away," he muttered, before raising his sword. "Reduce all crea-."

Before he could finish, a grinning Naruto appeared and simply exploded. There were Naruto's beside him stopping him from moving. This was a very well thought out plan Yamamoto had to admit. But flooding the cramped corridor with clones he had severely limited Yamamoto's options. As the head captain, he had to set an example, and that meant not destroying the entire hallway just to make the fight easier. There was nowhere he could run from Naruto's clones and destroying those only made things worse. Curiously, nothing happened when this clone exploded though. Or at least not at first. A moment later, something shot through the smoke and splattered against Yamamoto's beard. It was a sort of green paint. The smoke was a distraction, but he had no idea why the paint had to be delivered in this way. Yamamoto decided enough was enough. He ran to the side, destroying the clones in seconds and doing his best to avoid the consequences. Feathers and glue and paints of several colours were covering the hallways. The clones would occasionally land hits of their own, the smoke clouding his vision. This battle was utter anarchy. He felt Naruto slam onto his head, and then disappear, and another one simply exploded into water against his chest. Finally he broke through the clones, turned around and shot a blast of blue fire down the hall destroying the rest of them.

"Hey Grandpa, over here."

Yamamoto turned around to see Naruto at the end of the corridor waving at him. Yamamoto gave a grunt before giving chase. Naruto moved quickly but he was just as quick. Naruto disappeared behind a door, and Yamamoto followed, only to come face to face with all his captains. They were all standing in the meeting hall.

"Capture Naruto at once," he yelled as soon as he saw them. But the blond was nowhere to be seen. He stretched his senses and found that he couldn't feel the hollow anymore. He was out of range. He turned back to his captains to see they were all staring at him. Ah of course he was covered in feathers. But it shouldn't be that funny. Although it felt like something fuzzy was on his head.

It started small. Shunsui was trying to stifle a giggle, and failing miserably. Ukitake seemed to be laughing and coughing at the same time. Aizen simply had his eyes widened in surprise. Kaname and Komamura had no visible reaction. Kurotsuchi was simply standing there in silence as if he was witnessing something he simply could not comprehend. Byakuya seemed to be struggling to keep his face straight. Kenpachi's face had stretched into one of the biggest grins he'd ever seen. Unohana was giggling to herself, and Soi-Fon was trying to stop the corners of her lips from twitching. But it was the reaction of Gin Ichimaru that truly concerned him. The man simply broke out into laughter.

"Gah, ha, ha, ha! Oh God, I can't stop laughing. Ah, I can't breathe. Oh my god that's hilarious. Gah, ha, ha, ha!"

Soon the captain had actually fell to his knees and was banging his fist on the floor, his eyes open for once as tears poured down from them and onto the floor.

"Captain Ichimaru, I hardly think a few feathers are worthy of such a reaction," said Yamamoto while frowning.

"Actually head captain, it's more than a few feathers."

Unohana stepped forward and held out a somewhat large handheld mirror. She held it at a distance so he could fully see himself.

Yamamoto actually allowed his mouth to hang open. When the hell did all _that _happen.

The feathers covered him far more extensively than he thought, but that wasn't all. The green paint semed to have somehow spread through his entire beard and dyed it lime green.

'The clone that burst into water' Yamamoto realised. It had blown up against his chest and forced the paint to spread, dyeing his entire beard.

The next thing was that his eyes were covered in black stuff, almost making him look like he had panda eyes.

'The black paint,' he thought. 'He forced me to cover my eyes after I caught the paint to shield them form the glue.'

The final thing was a big green afro which now sat on top of his head.

'The first glue clone covered my head in glue,' he realised. 'Then a clone managed to get it on in the confusion. The glues dry now, it's been glued to my head.'

Yamamoto was not happy. He was angry. No he was furious. No he was more than that. He was boiling with rage.

"I don't care how you do it, I want Naruto caught," Yamamoto raged. "And I want it done today."

He had reverted Ryujin Jakka into a staff and slammed it against the ground once. Then he turned and left, determined to get as much of this stuff of him as possible.

Once he left the captains were in silence, except for Ichimaru who was wheezing on the floor, apparently having almost laughed himself to death.

Eventually the silence was broken.

"We never gave our report," said a frowning Byakuya.

* * *

Naruto was currently shaking the hand of a little girl while thanking her for the paints she'd given him.

"Aww, that's okay whiskers. Hey did you get a picture? I want to show Kenny and I can have it published in the WA magazine," said the little girl cheerfully. Naruto stopped shaking her hand and nodded.

"Of course I did mini Haruno. Here you go," said Naruto handing over a photo he'd managed to take rather secretly of the Head Captain once he'd finished with his makeover.

"Thanks Whiskers," said Yachiru Kusajishi. Then she frowned. "Hey why do you call me mini Haruno?"

Naruto grinned at her.

"Why do you call me whiskers?"

"Because you have whiskers!" she cried happily.

Naruto nodded."Yes and you like just like a mini Sakura Haruno. Hence you are mini Haruno."

Yachiru just shrugged.

"Thanks for the picture whiskers. And come and fight Kenny again sometime. He said he really enjoyed your last fight."

Naruto gave her a big smile and a thumbs up.

"Sure think mini Haruno. See you around."

And then he was gone, leaving Yachiru to find her own way back, something that would most likely take hours."

* * *

"Hey Rukia, how you doing," asked Ichigo as he came into the room. He was wiping his face off with a towel, his new Zanpakuto strapped to his back. Ichigo had been training hard for the last three days. If she had to guess he was already around fourth seat level in terms of power. It was impressive to say the least. She smiled up at him.

"I'm just fine Ichigo. Although I'm still confused why I can't just get my powers back. I'd be able to help you train that way."

Ichigo just shrugged. "Urahara said this way is better. I don't like it either. You're a target like this, and as long as that's the case you can't go back home either."

Rukia raised her eyebrow at him.

"Oh you want me gone Ichigo?" she asked him. "Do you think I'm a burden?"

Ichigo actually managed to sputter as he answered.

"What? No that's not it. But Urahara wants you to live a mortal life and dye all over again. You'll be trapped here for years, away from your family and friends. I just thought that might be difficult for you."

Rukia smirked at him.

"Don't worry about something like that Ichigo. Eighty years will fly by quickly for me. Although Urahara said it most likely won't come to that. And as for home, it hasn't really been home to me in a while."

She didn't explain to him what she meant but Ichigo didn't need to think too much. From what he saw her relationship with her brother seemed rather strange. And from what he could gather that other guy was a friend of hers, but once again their interactions seemed awkward. That was more than just because he was trying to arrest her. If he had to guess they hadn't saw each other in a while and there was something unresolved between them. Hey he can be fairly perceptive when he wanted to be.

He looked at Rukia. She had her hair down, and her bangs were covering her eyes. He sat down next to her and put a hand on her shoulder. She flinched but she didn't move away.

"You don't have to worry, because I'll protect you," he said solemnly. "Until you can stand in front of your brother again I'll help you."

Rukia didn't respond immediately, but Ichigo saw a single tear streak down her face.

"I won't thank you, you know," she whispered to him.

Ichigo smiled at her.

"I don't expect you too midget" he answered.

She mumbled something.

"What?" asked Ichigo?

"I said I'm not a midget. You're just too tall."

Urahara watched the two from the hallway with a smirk on his face.

"Okay I'm putting five hundred yen down saying those two are getting together."

Yoruichi popped up onto his shoulder.

"I dunno. Orihime seems quite set on that guy, and her chest is nothing to sneeze at."

"There's more to it that just chest size you know," Urahara answered sagely Yoruichi just snorted.

"Like you're one to talk."

Urahara closed his fan. "Well I suppose you're right."

* * *

"Are you sure this will work?" asked Shunsui Kyoraku from inside a bush. He really didn't want to be here. It wasn't so much the bush he was uncomfortable with, it was the man next to him. Mayuri Kurotsuchi was simply staring ahead of him into the clearing. "

"Yes, I am quite sure. I am very confident in my analysis of the subject," answered the clown faced man.

The bush was next to a clearing, and they weren't the only captains here. Soi-Fon, was hidden expertly up a tree, and Gin Ichimaru had insisted on helping as-well, saying he found the Hollow they were hunting Hilarious, and he wanted in on anything involving him. The man was in a different bush.

In the middle of the clearing were five bowels of Ramen, each with steam wafting off in different directions.

"I designed those ramen with the smile in particular in mind. They can be smelt from miles away. Now shush something is happening."

Shunsui was going to point out that it was Kurotsuchi who was doing most of the talking, but decided to simply be quiet and wait instead.

To the left of them a bush had started rustling and soon a familiar mop of blond hair appeared atop the bush. Naruto Uzumaki had arrived. He stared in awe at the sight of the five bowels of Ramen sitting in the middle of a clearing.

"Ramen, here?" he whispered. "Who would dare waste such a delicious thing?"

He cautiously approached the Ramen.

"What if it's a trap? But no one would possibly be so evil as to use Ramen for a trap."

He sat down next to the bowel and reached out a hand for the chop sticks. Kurotsuchi smirked. He'd packed enough tranquiliser into that bowel of ramen to put Kenpachi to sleep, and that as saying something. But as Naruto reached for the chop sticks something happened.

"Hey you, back away from the Ramen."

The captains looked to the other side of the clearing to see another Naruto standing there at pointing at the first Naruto in a serious fashion. The first Naruto snorted.

"I was here first, go and find your own Ramen."

With that said, he picked up the chopsticks and was about to dig in when there was a sudden yell.

"DYNAMIC ENTRY!"

The first Naruto was just about able to scrabble back as a third Naruto shot into the clearing, his kick missing by centimetres.

The new Naruto growled and turned around to face the third one.

"Back away man, that's my Ramen."

Meanwhile in the trees and bushes the three captains were flabbergasted. Obviously Naruto had created clones to help him with his pranks. And now those clones were fighting over the Ramen. The fact that anyone could be this stupid was actually too much for Shunsui to handle, who let out a snort. He quickly clasped his hand over his mouth, hoping that Naruto hadn't heard. Luckily it seemed the copies too concerned about the Ramen to notice him.

"How about you back away from the ramen!" shouted a fourth Naruto as he dropped down out of nowhere.

"Oh I got a better Idea," said the Fifth Naruto who had come out from behind a tree. "All five of us have a free for all. Last one left gets the Ramen."

All the Naruto's stopped to think about it before nodding their heads.

"Uh let's do this!" shouted one of the Naruto's. The captains had long forgotten which was which. And with that the copies launched into battle, punching and kicking each other. Soi-Fon actually found herself in awe as the clones battled each other. Although the reason for fighting was as stupid as the clones themselves, their moves were fluid and performed with a practice ease. Their faints and manoeuvres were executed perfectly, their timing was down perfect and their physical capabilities were impressive as well. It was impossible to keep track of all of them, and it was proving difficult to keep track of one. She could definitely see the potential of this in combat. It wasn't that the opponent would be overwhelmed by numerous opponents. It's that they would be locked down, with nowhere to go. A continuous assault that could come from anywhere, every attack perfectly timed and near impossible to dodge. Sheer power as the only way she could think of to get out of it. But the clones were equal in strength and the fight, though very impressive, was going nowhere. Not a single clone had been dispelled so far. But she couldn't join in. Even if these clones dispelled in a single hit, she didn't think she'd escape unharmed and most likely it wouldn't serve any higher purpose to defeat these clones anyway.

She was interrupted from her thoughts when one of the clones formed one of those blue balls and launched himself at his target. His opponent dodged, and the blue ball ploughed into the ground, right in the middle of the assembly of Ramen.

The clones all seemed to realise what happened and as one seemed to freeze absolutely still. Once the dust settled the last clone came back into view. He too had frozen, with upturned bowls of ramen littering the area around him.

The captains were surprised when the area was suddenly flooded with killing intent. They watched in a chocked silence as the clones pupils seemed to dilate, and small black bags formed under their eyes. Their hair seemed to grow spikier and wilder and their capes seemed to begin moving in a non-existent breeze. The changed were barely noticeable but they were there.

"That bastard destroyed the Ramen," one of the clones muttered. "We should kill him."

Another clone snorted. "Kill him. No we should rip him apart then force a Rasengan straight down his ass."

Some of the other clones nodded.

"He-hey, wait a second guys, it was an accident, you know."

The Naruto's just growled.

"You killed the Ramen. That's like blasphemy." Said one of the Naruto's.

"It's worse than blasphemy, its murder," said another.

"Blasphemous murderers don't deserve our sympathy," said another Naruto.

"And now," said the final Naruto. "You can apologize to the Ramen… IN HELL!"

And with that all of the Naruto's charged, and before the still normal Naruto could react he took a blow directly to his face. A second later, he crashed into the bush that Shunsui and Kurotsuchi was hiding in before dispelling. The two captains were knocked out of the bush and spotted by the four Naruto's.

"Hey, who are you."

"It's Uncle Shunsui."

"Hi Naruto," he said a little nervously.

"He smells like the Ramen," said one of the Naruto's.

"You mean they have more?"

"Maybe it was his Ramen."

"You mean Uncle Shunsui abandoned the Ramen?"

The four Naruto's turned to glare at Shunsui.

Shunsui, seeing the look in their eyes, gulped.

"Now hang on Naruto. Let's talk about this."

* * *

Yamamoto stood in front of the thirteen captains, finally ready to hear their reports. He'd managed to get rid of the feathers and the afro but there was still a light green tinge to his beard. He also noted with curiosity that Captain Shunsui was sporting a black eye and Captain Kurotsuchi was covered in dirt. Captain Soi-Fon seemed to be heavily favouring her left leg and Captain Ichimaru was trying to stifle a giggle every time he looked at one of them.

"This meeting starts now. I want you to share reports on the damages caused by the hollow Naruto Uzumaki done to each division. Captain Soi-Fon will start."

Soi-Fon stepped forward.

"Sir, the entirety of the Onmitsukido have had their uniforms and clothes replaced by green spandex suits. The heater has been set on full and cannot be changed, along with the tatami warmers, making the second division too warm for most members to spend a large amount of time in. The hot spring has been flooded as well. The training room has been filled with a form of powder that causes the clothes of anyone who enters to deteriorate. Also my office desk and chair has been glued to the ceiling, and our weapons supply of kunai has been replaced with rubber ducks."

Soi-Fon stepped backwards, her cheeks flushed red with embarrassment. Yamamoto nodded to her then turned to Gin before nodding his head for him to report.

"Well he seems to have written the words 'cheer up' on the walls. I think it has something to do with motto of our division. I think he kind of has a point actually. I've never got why our division has something as depressing as its motto. Well he's painted everything yellow and painted rainbows everywhere. Also he's placed various traps around the division to give everyone a good laugh. My Lieutenant Kira is currently in the fourth division with a bucket stuck on his head. My personal favourite so far has been-,"

"Enough," barked Yamamoto. "You are done. Captain Unohana report."

Gin stepped backwards with a pout and Unohana stepped forwards.

"Damage to the fourth division in general has been minimal. That being said several of my officers have somehow found themselves in clown suits or stuck in compromising positions. On many of the walls of the fourth divison the words 'laughter is the best medicine' has been written. All things said that is everything that has been done to my division. However other tasks which are usually seen to by the fourth division have been compromised. Pink and yellow dye has been placed in laundrettes, causing much of the laundry to become… unsavoury. Several toilets have also blown up, and as the fourth division is responsible for the plumbing we can confirm the reason for this is that someone, Naruto Uzumaki being the most likely suspect, has filled the pipes with copies of the ninth division's magazine that never got released yesterday."

Unohana bowed her head and stepped back, showing she was done. The fifth captain Aizen Sosuke stepped forward.

"A large portion of my division found glasses in their rooms similar to my own. For reasons I can't explain, many of them, my Lieutenant included, decided to put these glasses on. The glasses are now stuck and it turns out you cannot see through them from the inside for some reason, leaving half of my division members blind. Also there's a large hole in my floor with a pot in it, filled with tomatoes. I am unsure if there is any significant reason for this."

Aizen stepped backwards and Byakuya stepped forwards.

"The Kuchiki family manor has been painted orange, both inside and outside, and the Kuchiki elder's undergarments have been hanged from the roof and windows. Other than that my paperwork has been pinned to the walls of the division and…."

Byakuya suddenly looked uncomfortable and stopped speaking. Yamomoto noticed this.

"Captain Byakuya, report!" the captain said gruffly.

Byakuya schooled his features and continued.

"Inflated pictures of my sister have been stuck up on my office walls, and inappropriate material featuring illicit relations between siblings in general has been placed randomly throughout the division with my name written inside of the book."

There was silence for a few seconds. And then, once again Gin broke down laughing. He'd been dying to do it for ages but he'd managed to restrain himself.

"Ohhh, Oh my god I love this kid," he managed to wheeze out between giggles. Yamamoto sent a glare at the man, but Gin didn't seem to notice.

"Moving on, Division seven report."

Komamura stepped forward.

"Damage to the division was minimal. We do however now have a large gathering of foxes within the division courtyard and the words 'see they're cute, there's nothing to be ashamed of', written on the walls."

Komamura stepped backwards.

Shunsui stepped forwards.

"My cute surrogate nephew left me some brand new Sake, which I shared with the rest of my division. It turned out though that he had mixed some laxative with the sake and those of us who had some spent most of today lined up outside the public toilet trying not to soil out breaches."

Aizen asked a question. "Why do you say we? Your seated officers should have their own bathroom?" asked Captain Aizen.

"Ahh yes. Well it was the eighth division who had their toilets blown up. Anyway other than that my dear sweet Nanao is rather upset that her books have been replaced with a series of mature novels called the Icha Icha series. I've never heard of them before but I must say I am rather enamoured with them," said Shunsui happily.

Yamamoto growled but Shunsui retook his place and Kaname stepped forwards.

"The ninth division has had its printing section commandeered. The magazines that were supposed to be distributed have disappeared although I think we now know where they have gone. A different spread was created featuring Naruto Uzumaki as the main topic. It also discussed several secrets held by several captains. I decided the magazine was far too inappropriate to be allowed to spread, although my Lieutenant said it was a journalistic goldmine if the secrets discussed were true. Other than that one of the rooms has had the electricity cut and heavy binds set in, allowing no light through. Several of my members Zanpakuto have been taken and placed in this room along with several non-fatal traps. The words 'Welcome to Kaname Land' have also been written outside the room."

Tosen stepped backwards and Hitsuguya stepped forwards.

"Several hundred false documents have been added to the tenth division's paperwork. Several photos of my lieutenant taking impropriate poses have been spread around the division. My Lieutenant does not seem unhappy about this. I've also found several packs of Diapers in my office, several children's books and a music box that plays a lullaby," said Hitsuguya with a tick mark on his head. He's also left behind several Disney DVD's and a recommendation that in all seriousness I should watch Lion King because it's awesome apparently."

Hitsuguya stepped back and allowed Kenpachi to step forward.

"He replaced all our wooden swords with rubber chickens. And the little shit painted my division pink. He's left messages promoting peace throughout the division, and ones that discourage violence. And Yumichika's hair got dyed the same green as your beard but I think that one might have been Yachiru."

Kenoachi stepped backwards and Mayuri stepped forwards. He was silent for a few seconds. And then he started screaming.

"That little shit released all my test subjects! And he seems to have used some sensitive pieces of equipment to determine how to enhance the flavour of Ramen. He's also managed to break every other piece of equipment I have. And he lost me so much research Data! He's even destroyed the backups. He's cost my division decades of work. It'll take me years to compile all that data again. I will kill that little shit the next time I see him. And how dare he drag me under the ground and throw apples at my head."

"Captain Kurotsuchi, if you are done with your report then step back."

Kurotsuchi stopped talking and allowed his mouth to gape open. Without another word he stepped back, and Ukitake stepped forwards.

"The only damage done to the thirteenth division are numerous posters of Rukia Kuchiki and a four feet list of why her decided fate is wrong. There is also a rather prominent paragraph about a strawberry who will kick the ass of anyone who tries to hurt her."

Ukitake smiled and took a step back.

Yamamoto nodded.

"Insufferable music has been introduced into the first division although most of it has been removed. An object called Whoopi cushions have been placed under many of our chairs. Other news is that the Senzaikyu has been filled with large stocks of Ramen and the message, 'I know it would be my choice for my last meal.' The walls of the Sereitei have been covered in information about Rukia Kuchiki's sentence, which has caused a minor upheaval. And slanderous messages regarding the Central forty-six has appeared in several of the inner districts."

There were a few more mutterings between the captains as they discussed the information. As well as causing a boatload of trouble it would seem he was intent on letting everyone know just how bollocks Rukia's supposed execution was.

"If Naruto's not captured soon, there might be a minor uprising. His capture is your top priority. Go back to your divisions, collaborate with each other and work together. His pranks may seem harmless, but our lack of ability to capture him is making us look weak and the Central forty-six are becoming restless. This needs to be resolved and swiftly!"

Yamamoto slammed his cane, pretty much signalling the end of the meeting. He turned around and hobbled off. But as soon as he was out of sight he let out a sigh.

"Where did this all go wrong," he whispered to himself. And then he hobbled his way back to his division.

**Okay then. For the record I have had near 400 different peopel vote on my poll. Yet less than 300 reviews. I know this might make me seem like a bit of a prat, but do you guys think you could review then vote? I was hoping to reach 300 with the last chapter because then it would average out at 50 reviews a chapter. **

**Okay I'm not putting up current poll results because they haven't really changed. So for now, that's me over and out.**


	8. Failing the second act

**Woooow, last chapter got 90 reviews. On chapter 8. That's just... and this story easily has more favorites and followers than any other story I've wrote. So thanks everyone who reviewed. You guys are all totally awesome. Really you make me cry.**

**Well this is going to be the last chapter with a focus on Naruto's pranks. After this we will be experiencing some serious plot advancement. So I hope you guys all enjoy this. For the record Naruto has done a lot more pranks and some of them will be referenced at some points during the story. Okay, that's all I'm saying. Hope you enjoy the story.**

**Disclaimer: I won a Naruto ultimate ninja storm three. If I'm Minato namikaze I can kick anyone's ass and get a perfect. So I challenge Kishimoto for ownership of Naruto! Ha how do you like that. Well until he responds I don't own anything. **

Aizen sat in his chair at the head of the table. One either side of him stood his Shinigami lieutenants Gin Ichimaru and Kaname Tosen. Sitting around the table were the strongest members of his army, the Espada. He sat smiling at each of them. After that incident with that annoying hollow Naruto half a century ago he'd lost a good bit of credibility among his Espada. It had took a lot of executions and suppression through his spiritual power to get that credibility back. Surprisingly Barragan was the only one who didn't lower his opinion of Aizen at all from the event. He still hated Aizen make no mistake but didn't seem surprised at all when Aizen came back covered in paint. He merely remarked 'even you' and left.

Right now Aizen was staring around the room smiling his fake smile at all of them. He'd managed to slip out of Soul Society, not that it was very hard, in order to hold this meeting.

"I thank you for all coming here on such short notice," he began, speaking calmly. "We have much to talk about. But first some tea."

On his order a few Arrancar maids entered the room, pushing carts with cups on top. Soon all the maids had left and the Espada each had a cup.

Aizen looked around the room with his smile on his face and noticed that a few Espada were not drinking their tea. First there was Grimmjow who was eyeing it distastefully. Harribel was holding it but not drinking it. And Stark had his eyes closed, most likely asleep.

"Is there something wrong with my tea, Grimmjow, Harribel?" he asked pleasantly although no missed the underlying threat in his voice. They also didn't miss the fact that he didn't ask the Primera.

"N-no Master Aizen there isn't," answered Grimmjow, before taking a sip of his tea. His face had a hint of disgust on it afterwards.

Aizen smiled and turned to Harribel, smiling at her pleasantly and waiting for her answer.

Harribel bowed her head.

"With all due respect Master Aizen, I cannot actually drink or eat anything because of my mask fragment."

"Ah yes, of course how silly of me," answered Aizen, with what he must of thought was an apologetic smile on his face. The Espada just tensed further.

"Well to business then. Have you managed to find any of the remaining god's yet?" asked Aizen pleasantly. "Stark, Harribel, I believe these were your assignments."

Stark opened an eye.

"The one known as Espera is locked away tight in the forests. We found his location but we can't get past the trees. I considered using Gran Ray Cero but I didn't want to appear hostel and in all honesty I don't think that it would work."

Aizen nodded his head with the smile still on his face.

"Very well. We will deal with that one later."

Barragan gave a snort and looked away.

"Something you wish to say Segunda?" asked Aizen turned to face him, his good eye fixing him with a steely gaze.

"Among the four of us Espera is probably the strongest. And even my abilities do not affect those trees. They revitalize at the same pace they rot. And even if by some miracle you managed to get past them, and then by some act of god you manage to defeat him, Espera would rather die with his honor in-tact than serve you."

Aizen's smile never slipped as he answered Barragan.

"Then he will die. We cannot afford to have loose ends, or a force out there that could possibly match my Espada."

Barragans only answer was to snort and look away.

Next Aizen turned to Harribel.

"Failing him what of Cuervo?" he asked.

Harribel closed her eyes and gave a sigh.

"We managed to find the Cuervo wandering the desert far to the south. I led a small fraction of Arrancar to face him. He refused the offer I presented him with. Furthermore a portion of the female Arrancar defected upon meeting him."

Aizen stopped smiling and blinked.

"Excuse me, I don't think I heard you right," he said.

Harribel did not answer the question but continued her report.

"I warned them that betraying you meant death, but they claimed their precious Cuervo would protect them. Curiously Cuervo seemed irritated with them. He muttered something about, 'they haunt me even in death' before slaughtering all of the defectors."

Aizen blinked again.

"He killed them all?" he asked.

Harribel nodded.

"Yes, when I asked why, he said he will no longer tolerate fangirls."

Aizen was struggling to keep the confused expression of his face.

"I came to the conclusion that engaging Cuervo in combat would not be beneficial, as I never saw him move his blade to kill the defectors and they were spread out. I believe his power to be too far beyond my own."

Aizen nodded.

"Very well Harribel. That is understandable. He did not gain the title of one of the four gods of Huecco Mundo for nothing I suppose. I will deal with him myself. Now for the last order of business. I need any information you have managed to find on the third god Naruto Uzumaki."

He smiled pleasantly at Barragan, expecting him to answer. Barragan gave a sigh.

"Naruto has strange abilities even for a hollow. And I don't mean that annoying habit he has of getting out of any situation without a scratch. The best way to put it is that he is able to give Hollows a heart. Although he was the last of us to gain the title of a god of Huecco Mundo he is in fact the original."

Aizen raised a confused eyebrow.

"Your speaking in riddles Barragan, speak clearly and explain."

Barragan rolled his eye.

"Naruto Uzumaki formed as an Arrancar. He is for all purposes a low class Holllow. He never evolved. He just appeared as he is. He may not even be an Arrancar. He also has the highest regenerative capabilities I have ever seen."

Aizen was silent for a few seconds, allowing his mind to digest the information he had just be given.

"I see. And what about his other abilities Barragan. I have so far learned he has the ability to duplicate himself and swap himself for other objects. He also seems to be able to create a strange Cero which he holds rather than fires."

Barragan grunted

"Most of those abilities can be performed by the other two gods, although the Rasengan, the blue sphere he holds belongs solely to him. He has various forms of this attack, some stronger and some weaker. Naruto keeps most of his power locked away, for the same reason our Primera does. I would say that he is slightly stronger than Stark until Stark releases. I myself could defeat him after releasing aswell."

Aizen nodded, happy with this information.

"So even if he releases his Zanpakuto you two are still stronger. That's good to know. I wish to capture him and study his abilities."

Barragan blinked his eye.

"That's not what I said. I said I can still defeat him if I release my Zanpakuto and he releases his limiter. Naruto is only at full power when he wears his head band. But releasing his Zanpakuto is a different story."

Aizen frowned.

"Then how strong is he after he uses his resurrection."

And once again Baraggan snorted.

"Ressurection you say? That is for Arrancar who had a hollow form. Naruto never did. What he becomes upon releasing is something else entirely."

Aizen narrowed his eyes. He was fed up of Barragan speaking in riddles, no matter how much he enjoyed doing it himself.

"Then what does he become and how strong is he," answer the question Barragan.

Barragan narrowed his eye.

"I don't know what he becomes. And I don't know how strong he is. I have only seen it once and it's not like he needed to stay that way for long. The best way to describe it is to say he becomes his true self. And as for how strong he is, I don't know. I do know my rot ability has little effect on him or I would have already killed the brat."

Aizen kept his glare on Barragan but eventually his face softened and returned to his usual fake smile.

"It matters not. Before the power of Kyoka Suigetsu all things are equal. Now then I believe that is all we have to speak of today. Harribel, come with me. I wish for you to take me to Cuervo."

Aizen stood, as did Harribel before both walked out the room. Once they were gone Barragan stood aswell before turning to face the remaining Espada in the room.

"Do not expect Aizen to return. He will soon learn the limits of that Zanpakuto of his."

He did not say anything else as he left the room, leaving a room of confused Espada.

* * *

Captain Mayuri Kurotsuchi of the twelfth division was growling audibly. He'd returned to his division only to find that the doors to his lab had vanished. He remembered that Yamamoto had mentioned last time some facilities had become un-operational because they couldn't find the doors.

"You think this will stop me Naruto Uzumaki. I will simply break through the wall if I have too. You will not separate m from my research."

Mayuri looked behind him to his apparent daughter.

"Nemu, smash down the wall. I want in to this lab this instance."

Nemu bowed her head.

"Yes sir," she said emotionlessly. "She approached the wall and with a single punch broke a hole right through it. Another punch and the wall caved in even more. Soon the entire wall had been broken into. Only what awaited them on the other side was no laboratory.

Mayuri's mouth hung open as he stared into what was undoubtedly the woman's public hot spring. Currently in for a soak was half a dozen seated officers as well as Captain Retsu Unohana and her Lieutenant Isane Kotetsu. Somehow Mayuri just couldn't help but know that this was going to end badly.

Some distance away was Naruto who was observing Mayuri from a tree. Normally this would be the point that Naruto would be laughing his ass off. But somehow karma finally seemed to come back and bite him in the ass today.

"Ah damnit, I didn't know Big Sis was in there. It won't take her long to realize I'm the one responsible for this. And then once she's done beating the crap out of Captain Jolly she's gonna come and kick the crap out of me!"

Naurto gulped. At first he thought it was a good idea. Opening a Gargantia behind the wall and solidifying it with seals. The opening in the baths would be unnoticeable since he'd created the wall exactly as it was in the bathroom. No one would notice it was a different wall. Then Mayuri breaks through the wall out of anger, accidentally finds himself in the baths and get the tar beaten out of him by angry females, the only thing he couldn't dodge. But just his luck Big Sis had to be in there!

Before anyone noticed Naruto was gone from the tree, already putting as much distance between himself and the crime scene as possible. Soon Mayuri's screams could be heard all over soul society as his Big Sis finally got over her shock.

A few moments later Naruto landed near the second division. He liked it here. It reminded him of Konoha. There was a lot he'd forgotten about Konoha over the last few millennia. But there were some things that were stuck in his head. Names and faces he couldn't forget even if he wanted too. He smiled as he hid from the shinigami. They were no longer in Guy's Spandex outfit. Guess they just weren't youthful enough. Soi-fon had managed to fix the heating, clean up the hot spring, detoxify the training room and restock on their tools. She'd done a good job in only four days. The fatso Lieutenant had paid for most of it though. Curiously the guy was still wearing the green spandex suit, although he had his shinigami robes on top of it. Soi-fon hadn't allowed him to wear just the suit. He had yet to come up with a nickname for Soi-fon. He'd investigated her a little and found out she had some kind of vendetta against Yoyo.

Naruto looked around at the now completely clean second division, before giving a grin and rolling up some imaginary sleeves. Clean up his mess in record time will they. Well then guess it was time to make a bigger one."

* * *

There was a clang of metal as two blades came together. One was large like a giant cleaver while the others was about average size for a Katana but was straighter than most were. Curiously it was the larger blade that was pushed back by the exchange.

"Ichigo grunted as he was over powered by Urahara who disappeared into a shunpo, reappearing behind Ichigo with his sword overhead. He brought it down just as Ichigo turned, swinging Zangetsu in front of him to intercept Urahara's blade.

Urahara grinned.

"Very good Ichigo. It seems you can finally follow me with your eyes. But can you keep up?"

Urahara disappeared and then reappeared again to the side. Ichigo brought his blade around blocking another blow. No sooner had the two blades met than Urahara was gone again. Ichigo quickly swiveled to block the blade of an airborne Urahara who was upside down. He spun like a swivel top allowing the two blades to clang together. Ichigo couldn't stand up to the extra force provided by Urahara's spin. He was sent skidding across the ground, managing to stay on his feet. He was given no room to breathe as Urahara appeared before him. This blade slashed forward and Ichigo was just about able to move, avoiding most of the damage, although his shoulder still took a blow. Blood spurted out but Ichigo did his best to ignore the shallow wound. Urahara's blade, Benihime he had called it, flashed out again. This time Ichigo managed to block it but Urahara pushed forwards. Ichigo found himself pushed backwards off balance. Benihime came forward again, and Ichigo just about managed to parry but now he was having trouble standing. Urahara grinned and gave Ichigo no opportunity to regain his balance. He struck again and again until Ichigo was forced to the floor. His blade flashed out again and Zangetsu was knocked to the side. The next instant Urahara's foot flashed forward and lodged itself just below Ichigo's rib cage. Ichigo hurled up blood before he was sent flying backwards from the force of the kick. He hit the ground hard and rolled. But he knew he couldn't afford to take a break. The second he stopped he brought up Zangetsu and managed to block Urahara who appeared in front of him his blade coming down. The ground around Ichigo seemed to crack from the force but Ichigo stood his ground. Urahara gave him a grin.

"Well Ichigo it looks like you're still alive. I suppose that's good enough to pass lesson five. Take a few hours to rest and get some sleep. Tomorrow we start lesson six, and you won't be experiencing a luxury such as sleep until you finish the lesson. And trust me that could take a few days."

Urahara withdrew his blade and swished it to his side allowing it to return to its cane form. He didn't say another word to Ichigo before he walked of.

Ichigo collapsed backwards onto the ground, sweating, panting and bleeding. That so called lesson had lasted three days. Three days regaining his shinigami powers. A full day getting used to his new Zanpakuto, and then another three days of getting the crap kicked out of him by Urahara. Admittedly he'd gotten much stronger in the short space of time. When they first started he'd gotten hit with almost every swing. Every black or parry he'd managed to make had sent him flying across the land scape and he'd felt like suffocating to death the first two days under Urahara's spiritual pressure. But he'd thought and he'd endured. Urahara had taken on a very do or die method to his training. A lot of the blows he'd tried to make would have been fatal. Urahara seemed to believe he'd get stronger faster if his life was in danger. Ichigo didn't want to admit it but he had come to the conclusion that Urahara was right.

"You okay Ichigo?"

He opened his eyes and saw Rukia peering down at him, with a worried look, although she was trying to hide it.

"I'm fine, just a bit dead," he answered her once he'd caught his breath. Rukia rolled her eyes.

"Well you had your chain if fate cut so yeah I'd say you're dead," she replied with a cheeky grin. She wasn't expecting Ichigo's face to pale.

"Oh god that's right I'm actually dead," he exclaimed his eyes wide with horror. He hadn't thought of that. What was he going to do? What about his sisters? He couldn't leave them by themselves.

"Looks like we've swapped positions," said Rukia. "In a few months I'll be a human and if you don't return to your body semi regularly then you'll be truly dead."

At that Ichigo blinked a few times.

"You mean I'm not dead?" he asked her. She shook her head.

"Death is when the soul leaves the body and the body stops functioning. The soul and the body are connected by the chain of fate. But if your soul was to enter your body again, so long as it still functions properly it'll carry on living. What you have essentially done is eliminated the middle man. That being said the body will die if there's no soul inhabiting it. You should thank your lucky stars for Kon. He's keeping your body alive right now."

Ichigo gave a sigh of relief.

"Always knew that guy was good for something. Just could never figure out what that was is all."

Rukia gave a giggle.

"That being said the chain of fate does something else as well. So long as it connects the soul and body your soul will age at the same pace as your body does. I don't really know what will happen to you now. I don't think there's ever been a case like yours before."

Ichigo nodded.

"Well don't worry about that. An eternally young soul isn't really a bad thing afterall."

Rukia snorted.

"It is if it effects the rate at which you mature. And you Ichigo Kurosaki have a lot of maturing to do."

A tick mark appeared on Ichigo's head.

"Say what midget, you calling me immature."

"I'm not calling you anything. I'm merely stating a fact," answered Rukia, deciding not to respond to the midget comment.

Ichigo's eye twitched a little, but he decided to prove her wrong by showing some restraint. With a grunt of effort he hefted himself up into a sitting position.

"Look I don't have the energy to argue with you right now," he said, trying not to look like sitting up had taken everything he had. "Right now, I think I'm gonna grab a bite to eat then hit the hay."

With another grunt Ichigo began working his way onto his feet, only for Rukia to grab his arm and help him.

"You're far too stubborn you know," Rukia commented. "If you need help just ask for it."

"I don't need help though, I can stand on my own just fine," Ichigo lied.

Rukia frowned.

"Well I'm helping you anyway."

She began to lead him away, intent on staying where she was, supporting her. The two hobbled on slowly approaching the ladders out of the basement. Ichigo didn't know how he was going to get up them, but he'd cross that bridge when he came to it. Instead he looked at the small girl next to him.

"Hey Rukia. You okay?" he asked. Rukia's response was to raise an eyebrow at him.

"I am perfectly fine Ichigo," she stated. "Why do you ask?"

"You've been quiet," he answered. "Normally so loud I just want you to shut up, but you haven't raised your voice at all lately. Hell you haven't even hit him."

Rukia glared up at him before moving away. With the loss of her support he crumbled to the ground.

"Ow, hey what was that for?"

"I am not loud," she responded. "I was raised by the noble house of Kuchiki. I am far too dignified to be loud."

She crossed her arms and turned her head away from him. Ichigo let out a low groul.

"Damn midgets and their pride," he grumbled as he tried to stand.

"What was that? _My _pride? This coming from mister I've spent years fashioning my image?"

Ichigo grunted as he finally got back on his feet.

"It was a lot of hard work crafting that image," he protested. "And then Kon had come and ruin it all by making a move on my classmates."

Rukia just scoffed.

"Of course that's what you care about. It was just a kiss. Hardly more than a greeting." She said with a shrug of her shoulders.

"Oh yeah? Well if I kissed you would that just be a greeting? No it wouldn't. You'd probably sucker punch me between my legs since that's the only place you can really reach too."

Rukia snarled at him.

"Why are you making me out to be some violent woman? I am a perfectly reasonable person"

She was interrupted when Ichigo leaned down and kissed her cheek. It was just a slight peck but Rukia froze instantly. Ichigo grinned down at her. A grin that soon disappeared when Rukia's first shot out and embedded itself in his face. Blood spurted out from Ichigo's nose and he began falling backwards. Rukia quickly reached out and grabbed his collar, holding him in front of her.

"You Bastard! Thinking you can just kiss a girl to prove a point!" she yelled at him. Ichigo just grinned at him and then spoke through bloody teeth.

"What are you so upset for Rukia? It was just a greeting."

Rukia growled at him before letting go. Ichigo fell forward and landed with an 'oof'. Then Rukia gave him a kick to his stomach just for good measure.

"Jerk," she hissed at him before stomping off. Ichigo just groaned.

* * *

Naruto smiled happily at the sight before him. He actually felt a tear form in his eye.

"So beautiful," he whispered to himself. Before him was the previously spotless second division. Now it was, as far as he was concerned, a piece of art. A masterpiece even. The building looked like a rainbow had wrapped itself around it. The assassin's headquarters had been painted a myriad of colors so it now looked like a child's day-care centre. The surrounding trees were now orange and the grass was blue. But what Naruto was truly happy with was the inside. Taking inspiration from his earlier prank he'd set up each door with a seal which stabilized a Gargantua which was placed within every door. Now every door led to a different room. It was basically a maze. And in every room he'd laid traps, from exploding paintballs to falling furniture. He'd also created hidden portals unseen due to trap doors. These portals led to a variety of different places, including a nearby River, inside the Kuchiki Mansion, The Woman's bath house, the men's bathhouse, the holding cells and for good measure Mayuri Kurotsuchi's lab. He was a little unsure about that last one, since there was a chance that Kurotsuchi might experiment on whatever poor soul fell into it. But that was for him to worry about later.

Right now he had a concert to get to.

Set up slap bang in the middle of Sereitei's shopping center was a stage. Shinigami were already crowding around it wandering what the hell was going on. The stage was a semi-circle and was pretty large. There were a set of curtain supported by a large frame, obscuring what was behind them, and outside the stage there was a sign saying 'the most amazing thing you have ever seen!

At about three o'clock that afternoon music started playing.

The Shinigami were surprised and started looking around trying to find out where the music was coming from. Soon the music stopped and a drum roll began. And when the drum roll reached its peak the curtains opened.

Naruto stepped out, smiling before the crowd. Then he took a pose.

"Hailing from the sandy deserts of Hueco Mundo, I have come to you today to show you peaks of awesomeness, the very height of greatness and the epitome of sexiness. If you ladies find you cannot avert your do not fear, for this is a common occurrence when you gaze on manliness that is myself. And just who am I you ask? I am the prankster god of Huecco Mundo, Naruto Uzumaki! Believe it!"

The shinigami were stunned. Naruto Uzumaki, isn't that the guy who was making everyone's lives a living comedy/ nightmare with never ending pranks?

"Now I'm sure you're wondering why I came here today. My sign promised you all something amazing and that will happen. But later. Right now I want to speak to you all about the decision made by Central forty-six to execute a friend of mine by the name of Rukia Kuchiki.

Naruto grinned down at them all.

* * *

Aizen approached the figure before him slowly, careful to never let his smile drop from his face. In front of him was Cuervo, one of the four gods of Huecco Mundo. No one had ever described the hollow to him before. He could see why they would find it difficult. The Hollow was about the same size as him, maybe slightly shorter. But he was garbed from head to foot in a black cloak. It was ragged at the bottom and was billowing in the dessert wind.

"Hell, my name is Aizen Sosuke and I have a proposition for you."

"No," replied Cuervo. The voice he spoke with was one that would not be swayed.

Aizen tilted his head and smiled at him.

"You haven't even heard me out yet. Won't you first listen to my proposal before outright denying it?"

"I have heard of you, Aizen Sosuke," Cuervo replied. "You defeated Barragan. This is no easy feat I must say. However just because one of us became your lapdog doesn't mean all of us will. Be satisfied with what you have. Hungering for more is foolish and you will inevitably lose it all."

"Oh is that why you are alone, wandering the desert?" Aizen said. He couldn't resist making the jab. "Do you know what my desires are, Cuervo the black sun god of Hueco Mundo?"

Cuervo nodded his head.

"I am fully aware. You wish to create the kings key and invade the royal realm. However I have no interest in this."

"And what pray tell do you have an interest in?" Aizen asked cordially.

"Nothing you have to say," Cuervo answered. Deciding that the conversation was finished Cuervo began to turn so he could leave.

"Wait," said Aizen, and Cuervo did turning to face him again. "Won't you please look at my sword before you go."

Cuervo did so, and Aizen grinned in triumph.

"It is a very pretty blade,"Cuervo commented with a shrug of his shoulders before turning to leave. But as he did so Aizen shunpo'd behind him. Kyoka Suigetsu would make it look like Aizen had not moved at all. He drove the blade into Cuervo's shoulder. To his credit Cuervo didn't make a sound.

"You have made a mistake Cuervo. My Zanpakuto has the ability to control the five senses of anyone that lays eyes on the blade. You are under my illusions now Cuervo. I will give you only two choices. Either serve under me as a member of my Espada or die," Aizen said jovially.

Rather than respond Cuervo reached a hand out. As he did so the sleeve of the cloack receded up his arm allowing a pale hand to come into view. Most the hand was enclosed but two fingers stood out as if pointing. Then he pointed the fingers to the left.

Aizen furrowed his eyebrows and looked at what Cuervo was pointing at. There ten feet away was another Cuervo.

Aizen's eyes widened and he turned back to the Cuervo he'd stabbed only to see the body begin to ripple before bursting into a murder of crows which all scattered. Aizen quickly looked back to the other Cuervo but he was gone. A second later he felt a searing pain running along his back, and he could feel the blood running from the cut that had just been opened. He turned around and there was Cuervo, facing away from him. There was no sword drawn, he was simply staring of into the distance.

"You are a thousand years too early to even attempt at trying to fool me with an illusion. I will take my leave now. Do not try and stop me again. "

Cuervo took a few steps from Aizen, who was trying to figure out why his Zanpakuto's ability failed. Cuervo suddenly stopped.

"Also you should watch your back. Your plan included the murder of a thousand innocent souls. There's no way the _he _will sit quietly and allow that to happen."

Then without another word Cuervo burst into another murder of crows and disappeared, leaving a fuming Aizen and a confused Harribel behind.

**Omake**

It had been four months since Masaki had last seen Naruto. She was starting to miss him. Things were a lot more fun when he was around. He taught her so much. He'd begun to teach her a lost art called sealing. She wasn't very good at it but it could do some really cool things. For instance he'd given her a tag, which when activated caused a large paintball to fly out of it. He'd also given her a tag masked her reishi, making it close to impossible to sense her. She was pretty good at masking her reishi anyway, but now she could do it without any effort. He'd also made a tag that contained sound waves, which basically allowed him to play songs he'd heard He'd deflated a bit when she showed him what a radio was, but he'd perked up when she insisted his tags were better since they were portable and didn't need electricity, although each tag could only contain one song. Then he'd left for Huecco Mundo.

Masaki gave a sad sigh. She was in her second to last year of high school now. Her aunt was getting more annoying by the day. She really needed something to help her relax and unwind, but her aunt and the others wouldn't let her do anything.

She was broken out of her thoughts when something hit her senses. She could barely feel it but feel it she could. And she was pretty sure she was the only one who could. The other Quincy couldn't sense him at all and he was always surprised when she managed to find him. Masaki let a grin spread across her face. Naruto was back!

She quickly broke into a run, cutting corners when she could and leaping over the occasional house. Within a few moments he was in sight, right outside her house.

"Naruto!" she called happily, causing the blond hollow to turn to her with a grin.

"Yo Missy, how you doing," waved Naruto, as Masaki approached. He was expecting her to stop but she didn't. Instead she jumped into the air and drop kicked him.

Naruto took her foot to his face then hit the tarmac hard, skidding to a stop several feet away.

"I told you not to call me that," Masaki stated, while pointing a finger at him. Then she smiled. "So what we doing today?"

Naruto stood up and rubbed his cheek where she kicked him.

"Well I was checking it out and I think you Auntie's traded that stick in her ass for a fifteen inch steel pole. So I figured we could prank her."

Masaki wasn't sure about this. She was kind of afraid of her aunty.

"Are you sure about this?" she asked with some hesitation in her voice. Naruto just gave her his usual grin.

"Don't worry about it, I'll leave my mark behind. You won't get caught."

Masaki let her shoulders sag with relief. She trusted Naruto. If he said nothing bad would happen then it wouldn't.

"Okay," said Masaki nodding her head. "What do you have in mind?"

Lady Ishida was almost growling to herself as she walked the corridors of her mansion. Where was Masaki? She'd told the stupid girl multiple times she was to return to the mansion immediately after leaving school. Yet so far she hadn't seen even a whisp of her. She quickly approached the stairs to the main lobby intent on asking the doorman if he'd seen the girl. She took the stairs one step at a time with a confident step. The doormen seeing her descend turned and stood to attention.

But upon reaching the last step of the stairs her foot snagged on a wire. She tripped and the wire slackened. Unknown to anyone there the wire was connected to a container which contained a large amount of purple paint. The wire was the only thing stopping the container from titling over, and without it that's exactly what happened. The next thing Lady Ishida knew her back was covered entirely in purple paint. She gave a groan before standing up. Naruto who was hiding in a corner along with Masaki snickered, they were more or less invisible thanks to Naruto's strings. He gave a tug of another wire as soon as Lady Ishida stood up. Like all fictional Lobby's the Quincy mansion's contained a long red carpet that led to the stairs. Lady Ishida was currently standing on the end of it. With a tug of the strong the carpet was yanked towards the door, pulling it out from under Lady Ishida's feet causing her to fall onto her back. Now with a view of the ceiling she saw two things. The first was another container which was just about to spill its contents. The other was a grinning red fox head that was painted onto the roof. She only viewed it for a second before her front too was covered in purple paint. Lastly Naruto pulled one final string which caused two trolley's near the top of the staircase which no one had notice to roll towards the stairs. They tipped up when they reached the end of the stairs causing a flood of purple raspberry's to flood down the stairs and berried Lady Ishida underneath.

Before Masaki could burst out laughing she felt Naruto clamp a hand over her mouth. They couldn't give away their position.

Lady Ishida gave a groan before sitting up, causing the raspberry's to fall to the side. It looked like she was rising up out of the raspberry's.

Slowly she took to her feet. Then she fixed the two doormen who were gawking at her with a murderous glare.

"I want whoever did this found and brought here," she said calmly. "And I want it done NOW!"

The doormen scrambled before saluting Lady Ishida and dashing off, intent on getting as far away from the woman as possible.

Masaki felt Naruto's arm snake its way around her waist. She looked at him to find out what he was doing and was confused when she suddenly realised they were outside. Not only they were on top of a building. A building at least four miles away from her mansion.

"Well I think that should sweeten her up a bit," said Naruto with a grin. Masaki just allowed herself to giggle.

"That was pretty funny," she admitted. "Come on, we can get Ramen as a reward for a job well done. Plus you have to show me if you get on better with your introductions."

She began to walk off. Naruto gave a grin of his own.

"Alright wait for me!" he cried and hurried of after her.

**Okay I'm sure you all figured out that Cuervo is Itachi. There are several reasons I put him in here, but the only reason I put him up against Aizen is because Itachi is awesome and I wanted him to kick Aizen's ass. But I can't let Itachi kill Aizen or there won't be a story. So a minor skirmish will do. **

**Poll results haven't changed too much. So I'm not going to comment on them for now. But there's only five or six chapter left until the poll closes, so if you want to vote and haven't done it yet then do it soon.**

**I've fixed most of the spelling mistakes. Also I noticed I had the Espada referring to Aizen as Aizen sama even though I swore to myself I would use no Japanese terms in this fic. Names aren't terms btw. So I changed it to master Aizen. I havent seen the dub if Bleach so I don't know what the Espada actually call him.**


	9. On stage performance

**Hi guys! Sorry this took so long. I could bore you with the details of why this took so long, but as I previously stated they're boring.**

**Disclaimer. I don't own Naruto, Bleach or pretty much anything really.**

Naruto had appeared before the shinigami of seireitei and he'd talked at them. For ten minutes he'd explained to them exactly what had gone down in the human world, and how Rukia was now being sentenced to execution. He would have talked to the longer but…

"Stay still!" roared Soi-Fon, as she failed another palm strike, Naruto smoothly sliding out of the way only to be confronted by Hitsuguya.

"You're going to pay destroying my paperwork," growled Hitsgaya. "I spent hours doing those papers, and now I have to do them AGAIN!"

He didn't waste another breath as he used a Flash step to appear before Naruto swinging his blade in a wide ark. But Naruto jumped backwards out the way before back flipping over Soi-Fon who had appeared behind him blade in hand trying to stab him. He hadn't even landed when Soi-Fon twisted mid attack and seemed to disappear before the spectator's eyes, before reappearing right next to Naruto. She swung the blade hoping to hit but Naruto lashed out at her with a punch. As he did so the flat side of Soi-Fon's blade met the flat side of his fist and grated down his arm without cutting it.

Soi-Fon although caught by surprise didn't falter and tilted her head to the side just as the fist flew past. Neither were deterred though, as Soi-Fon spun trying to get the boy with a powerful kick. It didn't go as planned though as Naruto managed to twist his body over it, at the same time laying his palm flat on her leg and pushed himself further into the air, just in time to watch Hitsugaya blade pass in a horizontal swerve exactly where he'd just been. Naruto lashed out with a kick next, aimed straight at Hitsugaya's face. Only the small captain brought his blade up just in time to take the blow with the flat of his blade, although the force behind the kick still forced him to go skidding backwards. He retook his stance just as Soi-Fon appeared beside him donning her own. Naruto too landing and took his own stance, which seemed to simply include standing there and leaning forward slightly.

"He's fast, and he hasn't even used his duplication ability," Hitsugaya said, eyeing Naruto with an angry glare.

Soi-Fon nodded her head, never allowing her own eyes to leave Naruto.

"It's not just speed and strength. He sees through everything we do. It's experience. He's saw through every attack because he's already saw someone else do them before," Soi-Fon said, with something akin to respect in her voice. "He may act like a fool but he's a true warrior."

Naruto grinned at her then turned his gaze to the crowd.

"See, a Captain's battle. Told you all you'd see something amazing."

Soi-Fon took the chance when Naruto's head turned to attack, attempting to stab the blond, but the his head turned to grin at her. He moved to the side, revealing a clone behind him. It shot forwards with a punch and Soi-Fon barely managed to react in time. She twisted to the side and slashed as the hollow flew passed, causing the hollow to dissipate into smoke. Only now her position was less than favorable, especially when Naruto appeared directly above her. His hand descended in a palm strike that went straight for her stomach and Soi-Fon found she couldn't recover in time.

"Sit upon the frozen heaven's Hyourinmaru!"

Naruto found himself hard-pressed to switch from attacking to dodging but he managed it by switching himself with a clone he had on standby. Switching with his clones was much easier than switching with people. If they caught on quick enough they could resist the tug, and cause the switch to take a second longer than it should. That meant not only more energy wasted but he might be too late to dodge whatever needed dodging.

The clone which appeared above Soi-Fon was barged into by Hitsugaya's ice dragon, sending it barreling away before dispelling.

"Well that was close," said Naruto. "I honestly didn't think baby face would be so quick to react." Hitsugaya felt a tick mark appear on his forehead when Naruto called him by the new nickname, but he didn't react.

"Sting all enemies to death Suzumebachi," were Soi-Fon's next words. Her blade begin to glow and shrink until it took on the form of a yellow stinger that was wrapped around her right hand.

"Give up now Hollow. We were told that capturing you is preferable but we can kill you if we must," she said, fixing the hollow with a glare. Naruto just smiled back at her though.

"Oh so we're kicking the Party up into next gear eh, releasing both you're Zanpakuto." Naruto drew his own, which once it was free from its scabbard turned out to be an ordinary looking tanto. "Well maybe I should use my own release."

The two captain's eyes widened. The hollow was a pain in the ass now, but it could get stronger. That was bad. But then to both the captains' shock Naruto frowned.

"What do you mean no. Oh come on, you never fight. Don't you want to actually do something? Well take a nap later! Now is not the perfect time, I'm fighting a pair of captains! Oh you know what, screw you I'll do it myself."

Naruto gave a grumble before putting the blade away back into its scabbard, both the captains too shocked to even attack by what just transpired. Then Hitsugaya noticed something strange.

"Why do you have a standard Katana size scabbard if your sword's a tanto? He asked curiously.

Naruto blinked up at the captain.

"Well the thing is you can't really get scabbards in Huecco Mundo and I can't use one from the human world. So I beat the crap out of an Arrancar once and nicked his. I used to just tuck it into my belt. Anyway it's cool like that, people aren't expecting it.

"Umm, right," answered Hitsugaya before getting ready to attack again.

"Well guess I'll just have to go full out then," Naruto said with a sigh. His hand moved up to the bone white ring around his neck before he grasped it in his hand. The band began to expand in his hand allowing the blond to pull it up onto his forehead where it began to shrink again. Once it was secured to his head Naruto gave a grin and removed his hand. The second he did so the surrounding shinigami who were still watching the fight suddenly had a lot of trouble breathing and fell down onto their knees and the eyes of both captains widened considerably as they felt Naruto's reiatsu suddenly rise.

"What's going on!" shouted Soi-Fon, clearly not comfortable with the new power level of her opponent. Naruto just flashed her a smile and pointed to his head.

"Basically a looooooong time ago I still had sucky control of my reiastsu so a lot of hollows or spirits who were around me had this annoying habit of starting to die. But by taking my headband off I can store some of my power inside of it and remove it, making my reiatsu a lot more manageable. Well I can control it now, but I still only wear my headband when I'm in a serious fight. And if you two are going to be trying to kill me, then I really shouldn't be holding back."

And with that Naruto disappeared. It wasn't a Flash step or an Arrancar's sonido. He simply seemed to disappear.

Hitsugaya felt the hair's on his neck stand on end and for that reason alone he brought his sword up to his side, just in time for Naruto's foot to crash into it. The force of the blow was staggering, and Hitsugaya was sent hurtling into Soi-Fon, who didn't have enough time to register the tiny captain before he slammed into her. The two were thrown to the floor and skidded along it until they reached the end of the stage, where they were both half hanging off the edge.

"And that's what I call putting my foot down!" Naruto called triummphantly.

The pressure had stopped flooding the area so the shinigami had been able to get up just in time to watch the two captains get nailed. There was a stunned silence interrupted only by a pair of growns. A moment later the two captains were back up on their feet.

"Damnit, he's got even stronger," Soi-Fon gasped out. He was her equal in speed before, but the unpredictability of his style had her at a loss. Now he was faster than her as well.

"The difficulty level just got higher," said Hitsugaya. "We'll need to co-ordinate an attack. I think we've both figured out that sneak attacks are pointless. We'll have to force him into a corner.

Soi-Fon nodded her agreement.

"I'll attack from behind, you take front."

She disappeared into a flash step as Hitsugaya brought his sword back and swung it. A massive ice dragon erupted from the blade and hurtled towards Naruto. The plan was simple and unspoken. Get him while he dodges, swamp him with attacks and hope for a lucky hit. It was a crude plan but one that had proved itself effective. Only instead of dodging the attack as it came closed Naruto slammed palm forwards into the dragon's head. Hitsugaya could barely contain his shock when the dragon's head exploded. Soi-Fon did a much better job of getting over it, appearing directly behind Naruto and thrusting forward with Suzumebachi. Only Naruto tilted to the side, allowing her arm to shoot past. He grabbed her wrist before she could pull it back and pulled, causing Soi-Fon to come over his head and dragged her in front of him. Without a word he kicked forward, slamming his heel into her stomach. Soi-Fon actually felt her bowels cave in. She couldn't remember ever being hit that hard in her life. She shot of in Hitsugaya's direction, who had been rushing towards them. The boy jumped forwards and caught her, the force of her flight sending him skidding backwards. He let her down again, and the captain almost fell to her knees.

"Are you alright?" He asked, hardly believing that Soi-Fon had been left in such a state from a single attack.

"Fine," she gasped out. "He's strong. Don't let him hit you."

Hitsugaya nodded.

"We'll go for a twofold attack," Soi-Fon continued. "I'll take point and you follow up. "

Hitsugaya nodded and waited for her to get back into position.

"Ready, let's go," she said without waiting for an answer. She shot forwards, Hitsugaya following her up. Only Naruto shot forwards as well. He batted away Soi-Fon's first attack before shooting his hand out. Soi-Fon had charged by lowering her body to an angle, and she now found his arm beneath her torso. A split second later, he feet had been swept her shoulder had been pushed down and her torso had been lifted by his arm. The result was that she was sent hurtling head over heels behind him. Naruto didn't even slow down upon reaching Hitsugaya, who hadn't been able to see what happened properly and barely managed to retaliate with his sword. But Naruto dodged low beneath the attack before shooting upwards, plating his fist just below Hitsugaya's rib-cage. Hitsugaya's felt blood work its way up his throat and was forced to cough it out as the attack forced him into the air. Behind them, Soi-Fon had landed on her feet and shot back towards Naruto with his back turned to her. But as he reached her, he spun abandoning his assault on the tenth division captain to try and plant a heel into her face. Reacting quickly Soi-Fon altered her course allowing the foot to fly by over her shoulder, but she couldn't react to the second foot that slammed rght into her shoulder blade. Physics are sketchy in these cases, and usually end up with the colliding object, in this case being Soi-Fon to gain a lift and flip over the object they slammed into. Soi-Fon had shot forwards and slammed into Naruto's foot, causing her to flip into the air over Naruto and collide with Hitsugaya.

The two captains gave a grunt but that's all. Deciding to make the most of it, Soi-Fon used her sudden stop after her collision as an opportunity to gain a footing in mid-air and launch herself back to her opponent who was still in a position that should leave dodging difficult. She rocketed towards him with her leg outstretched. She caught a flash of his eyes before the boy twisted in the air so he had his back to her and then slammed his palm onto the ground, before almost simultaneously pushing, causing him to spiral out the way, just before Soi-Fon would have hit him. Instead she slammed into the stage and her leg went right through it, causing bits of wood to go everywhere. Naruto had landed on all fours and skidded a little, but he assumed a runners start and shot of just as an ice dragon courtesy of one recovering Toushiro Hitsugaya slammed into the place he'd just occupied. Soi-Fon at least managed to jump out of the hole before Naruto was in front of her, fist cocked back and ready for action.

"Falcon punch!" he screamed cheerily

She had just enough time to cross her arms to guard her before Naruto's fist shot forward and slammed into her guard. She underestimated the force of the blow. She knew he was powerful but when she heard and felt her bones crack she knew she hadn't realized just how powerful. She flew backwards through the air clear of the stage and slammed into the wall of a building. Large cracks appeared around her in the wall, as she was currently too busy groaning in pain to try and extract herself from the small crater she'd been punched into.

"Captain Soi-Fon!" Hitsugaya yelled, worry easily heard in his tone. She may not be the most sociable of the captains but the two got on alright. Hitsugaya turned to glare at Naruto, who just gave him a cheeky grin. He was still hurting from Naruto's punch, but that didn't stop him from raising his sword.

"Don't look so smug Hollow, this isn't over yet," he said, before disappearing into a flash step of his own. He re-appeared right next to Naruto, his blade swinging in an arc ready to decapitate the hollow. But Naruto was quick to duck, bending his knees and bending backwards at the same time. A second later he spun and struck out with his foot, but Hitsugaya had managed to move to the side and dodge. He swung his blade again, unleashing a wave of ice, only to hit thin air. Hitsugaya felt movement behind him and dived to the side as Naruto's foot sailed through the space his head just was. He wasn't out of the woods though. Naruto spun on the balls of his feet and lashed out with another kick before Hitsugaya had time to counter attack. He did have time to move his sword in the way so it took the brunt of the kick and once again he found himself skidding backwards across the stage.

"You're pretty good for a kid," Naruto told him with a smile. "You got your forms down pat and you're pretty skilled with that sword of yours. But you need more experience. I've fought dozens of ice users, and a lot of them fight in a similar way to you."

Hitsugaya growled at the hollow before holding his blade out in front of him, the tip parallel with Naruto's eyes.

"This is no regular ice type Zanpakuto," Hitsugaya stated. "This is Hyourinmaru, the most powerful of all ice type Zanpakuto's. It would be smart not to compare it to anything else you've ever faced before."

Hitsugaya didn't wait for Naruto to answer. Instead he began to pack as much reiatsu into his blade as he could. Naruto raised an eyebrow as he noticed the sword began to glow.

"Tenso Jurin," Hitsugaya stated. "It's the basic ability held by my Zanpakuto. In laymen's terms it's the ability to control the weather. But it's not fully mature yet. Still with this ability I can pull the water directly from the atmosphere and meld it over."

Naruto gave a whistle, before noticing that a rain drop had hit his face. Confused he looked up to the sky, where dark clouds had begun to gather.

'How strange, I didn't know it could rain in soul society.'

"You've noticed," stated Hitsugaya. "The power of my Zanpakuto is rather potent, so releasing it inside of soul society can cause anomaly's within the weather. Don't worry, the rain drops won't hurt you."

Naruto raised an eyebrow. The blade of Hitsugaya's Zanpakuto was really flashing now, and the chain of the blade seemed to be circling around Hitsugaya.

"This is the end hollow. There is no way for you to escape this attack."

Hitsugaya held his blade pointing it to the ground and spun it clockwise into his hand. Once it reached its apex water began to swirl around the glowing blade.

"Hyaku Hyoro," whispered Hitsugaya before swing his sword. There was a blinding white as the water surrounding the blade seemed to disperse, and the area surrounding Naruto began to shine.

Naruto's eyes widened before a blinding light engulfed the area, drowning out Naruto's words.

"It was the rain…"

The area seemed to rumble as the attack took effect and the shinigami had to shield their eyes from the light. When it eventually died down they were in awe at what they saw. More than half the stage had been engulfed in a pillar of ice that seemed to reach the heavens itself.

"One hundred years ice prison," finished Hitsugaya before suddenly falling forwards. He stabbed his Zanpakuto, which had now reverted back into its sealed state into the ground in order to keep himself upright. He was sweating profusely, and he was having trouble getting back up.

"Damnit, using that attack outside of Bankai is too draining," he said, whilst trying to get back up. "And it takes too long to build up the energy."

"I agree," said Naruto from beside him, looking up at the ice tower and giving a whistle.

Hitsugaya gave a yelp before falling to the side. Naruto looked at him with his hand in his pockets and a raised eyebrow as he struggle back onto his feet.

"How did you… I know I got you. Once you're inside the radius if the attack there's no way to escape! It's impossible for you to be here."

Naruto nodded his head in agreement.

"You're probably right. Breaking out of that thing would be a pain. Luckily I was never in the area of the attack in the first place."

Naruto looked to the side and saw the incredulous look that Hitsugaya was giving him.

"What, you didn't seriously think I would stand there while you charged a big ass attack did you? No what you got was a clone. I swapped myself out and decided to watch from that tree over there."

Hitsugaya's mouth hung limp as his mind tried to process what the blond was telling him. He'd done all that work, to kill a clone? Clones that were rather easy to kill anyway.

"I… I think I honestly hate you," Hitsugaya said after a minute of quiet contemplation. Naruto just grinned and slapped him on the back, causing the young looking captain to stumble forwards.

"That's the spirit," said Naruto happily, just before ducking, and allowing a recovered Soi-Fon's strike to go over her head. Next he spun on his heels, avoiding an axe kick and did a cartwheel backwards to avoid a roundhouse kick.

Soi-Fon now stood panting beside Hitsugaya as she eyed Naruto warily. The blond was still grinning at her, and seemed to be making no move to attack.

"Captain Soi-Fon, we should retreat," breathed out Hitsugaya. He was still leaning on his sword and he could see Soi-Fon was still hurting from the way she hung her arms. "We're going to need Bankai to defeat him, and at the moment we don't have permission to release our Zanpakuto's to that level."

Soi-Fon was trying to control her breathing as she listened to the small captain, trying not to appear as hurt as she was. But as much as she agreed with what he said, she had already decided she was not going to back down.

"I still have one more technique that might give us a chance," said Soi-Fon. "Only I haven't learned to fully control it yet. But under these circumstances I don't think I have a choice."

Soi-Fon allowed her breathing to even out before standing up straight. In one fluid movement she removed her captains Haori and tossed It to the side.

"I have no name for this technique yet," said Soi-Fon as she closed her eyes. "But with it I should be able to win."

And then Soi-Fon seemed to explode with pure white energy. Hitsugaya stood in awe, watching as the energy seemed to coat Soi-Fon's back, covering it in a layer of white Kido.

"This is it Hollow. You can't win anymore."

There was a flash of white and then she was gone.

Naruto's eyes widened briefly before a foot smashed into his head. There was a huge cracking sound as he seemed to fly to the side, before disappearing into a puff of smoke.

"Wow," said the real Naruto, who was now standing behind a slack jawed Hitsugaya, with an arm around his shoulders. "Did you see that! She kicked through my clones Hierro like it was nothing! Jeez that looked dangerous."

He was given no more time to talk as Soi-Fon appeared again, with a palm placed across his chest. A split second later her energy surged forward and barreled into Naruto, destroying his chest and sending him backwards only to disappear once more.

"You know as a general rule I always create more than one clone. It's just only one or two of them ever seem to listen to me and that's why you only see me using so many at once. I can still swap out for them though." Naruto said from within the crowd of shinigami, causing all the shinigami to turn and stare at him. Not a single one of them had noticed him there. He disappeared pretty quickly though when Soi-Fon appeared above his head and brought her foot down, causing a huge crater to appear where Naruto had been standing and sending many of the shinigami who had been watching, flying backwards. Soi-Fon was further surprised when one of the shinigami who were sent flying hint the ground and disappeared with a poof.

"What the?" she muttered with a frown. She wasn't given much time to think though as Naruto appeared before her once again, a smile plastered on her his face. With the aid of her new technique Soi-Fon's reactions had been amplified, and she managed to move her head to the side just in time as Naruto's hand snapped out. She countered by turning her body in so her shoulder was facing Naruto and thrusting her own palm forwards. Naruto surprised her by matching her reaction time, tilting his body so the blow flew by his torso harmlessly. Continuing his action Naruto spun, bringing a closed fist around in a backhand aimed at Soi-Fon's head but it was quickly ducked. Soi-Fon channeled more kido into her hand and launched what would have been a devastating punch at Naruto's stomach. But the blond's hand shot out, his palm brushing her fist, and she suddenly found her attack of the mark. Her fist dispelled the energy, but it made no contact with Naruto, impacting the ground to the right of him. Stunned at his counter, she almost forgot to dodge the elbow that Naruto had sent rocketing at her face. Once again she ducked the blow, hoping to move inside his guard but Naruto had anticipated her. She was able to bring her arm up and block the knee that Naruto had tried to counter her with using her forearm. There was a displacement of air followed by a shockwave as the two limbs met, and the ground beneath them seemed to crack. Soi-Fon winced at the feeling of her arm breaking. Her technique was not perfect and it extremely taxing on her body. Her arms had taken a good bit of damage from Naruto's attack earlier and she knew if she continued fighting much longer her arms would break. Seeing no choice Soi-Fon disappeared in a flash step, attempting to gain some distance from Naruto. If she was going to win, she'd need to land a solid hit, something that almost impossible when it came to her opponent.

She stopped suddenly in mid-air, before twisting her body and lashing out with an overhead kick behind her. Naruto materialized there, his palm blocking the kick. It had enough force to repel him, Naruto's arm shooting up and his torso bending backwards due to the force of the blow. Deciding to press her advantage, Soi-Fon righted herself before bolting forwards, lashing out with her fingertips cloaked in kido. As she approached Naruto suddenly righted himself and seemed to spin around the attack. Soi-Fon's eyes widened as he appeared behind her.

"You should never let you enemies get behind you," he whispered in her ear. And suddenly Soi-Fon felt strange. Like she couldn't move no matter how much she wanted too. "Forbidden art, one thousand years of death!" What happened next was something that Soi-Fon was going to considered one of the biggest humiliations she had ever suffered, as Naruto seemed to jab his fingers up her ass. Soi-Fon felt her face go beat red and tears swell in her eyes. For a moment nothing seemed to happen. They both seemed to just hang there, above the arena.

"Erm this is the bit where you fly into the air screaming in pain and embarrassment," said Naruto, not seeming to understand what was happening. Slowly, almost robotically, Soi-Fon turned her head to face him. He saw her red face, and strained tears before noticing something else. She was glaring at him with such intensity he was privately sure she melt the sun with it.

"I am going to kill you," she said slowly.

"Umm, maybe I made a mistake," said Naruto with a sweat drop.

* * *

Aizen gazed at the figure before him, with a look every bit as regal as he thought himself to be.

"Very well my loyal servant. I think I have allowed them to relax long enough. If soul Society will not make a move then I will. Go, and take your revenge against Ichigo Kurosaki. But remember, the girl belongs to me. Bring her back here." The tall figure before Aizen gave a nod before turning. With a swipe of his hand a dark hole appeared before him. A moment later he was gone.

Aizen waited a few minutes before making a motion with his hand.

"Yes, Lord Aizen," said Ulquirra Cifer as he stepped forwards.

"I am interested in this Ichigo Kurosaki. I want you to go and monitor the battle. Do not interfere. Afterwards return here and share what you have discovered."

Ulquirra gave a small bow before turning on his heal.

"Yes, Lord Aizen."

A moment later he was gone. Aizen was now alone with one other figure in the room.

"Harribel. You are to tell no one of the results of my encounter with Cuervo. Is that clear."

Harribel bowed her head.

"Yes Master Aizen. It is clear."

"Good, now fetch me Gin, and if you could, ask him to bring some fresh bandages."

Harribel gave another bow before she too turned on her heal and left.

Aizen sat idly in his seat thinking over the events of the day.

"For the first time Kyouka Suigetsu has proved useless," he murmured. "But it is effective against Barragan. So not all of the four gods are immune to it. The question is, is it just Cuervo, or are the other two as well?

**Yes, next chapter Ichigo will actually have to do something. Now I'm sure you all want to know how the poll results are going. Well nothings changed. They all got more votes but the gap bewteen the top four has really changed. Well anyway, if you want to change that you're goign to have to vote for your favourite. Although I think soon I'll just keep the top five so since I honestly don't think the lower ones have a chance at catching up now.**


	10. The boogeyman returns

**Hi guys, sorry this took so long. I know I told a lot of people it would be out ages ago, but I've just been so busy. But I've had a lot of stuff going on. First I was just really busy in general then I got a new job with ten hour shifts which are pretty much killer. Then I got Pokemon Y which ate up my free time. I mean new pokemon are mostly crap but game plays really fun. Speaking off, if anyone wants to battle or trade send me your friend code, I'll get in touch. **

**Anyway this is the first chapter which hasn't gone through a Beta. I'll still send it to her, but I won't to post it now while I've got time. So you'll have to make do with my corrections. Hopefully there aren't too many mistakes.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or Bleach or a lot of other things. At the rate my siblings are making me spend money I really don't think I'll ever be able to afford them either.**

Almost the entirety of the soul society had witnessed the rise of the pillar of Ice caused by Hitsugaya's attack. Shinigami had stopped working, stopped eating, stopped chatting and even stopped drinking as they witnessed the giant pillar of probable death rise high into the sky, a symbol to all of them that a great battle against a powerful foe had started. They all knew who had created that pillar, and they all knew only a truly powerful opponent could cause him to use that attack. Not a single shinigami spoke as the contemplated what kind of terrifying adversary the diminutive captain was up against.

"GAAAAAAAAAH, PLEASE LET GO OF THEM!"

The scream shattered the silence like a cannonball would shatter a ship. So the ship would still be standing and more or less alright but the blast would still be pretty noticeable. But before the shinigami could guess as to the nature of the scream, another loud shrill cry pierced the air.

"PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP SQUEEZING, THINK OF MY HYPOTHETICAL UNBORN CHILDR- GAAAAAAH. DON'T STAB ME THERE, I NEED THAT LUNG. THEY WORK A LOT BETTER WHEN THERE'S TWO OF THEM!"

A few shinigami blinked as they finally caught on to just what the voice screaming about, and as one many male shinigami placed their hand over their male pride… or embarrassment for some of them.

"PLEASE STOP, I SURRENDOR, I'LL BE GOOD JUST PLEASE- GAAAAH I SAID I SURRENDOR WHY ARE YOU STILL STABBING ME?"

Naruto was aware that he probably looked ridiculous to the outside observer, running around like a headless chicken trying to avoid a very messy demise curtsy of one outraged Soi-fon. Judging by Hitsugaya's gawking face he probably looked very silly indeed. The young man was probably confused, which was understandable. Just a few minutes ago he'd been going toe to toe with Soi-fon even in her funky white energy mode thing. But what he didn't know was that Naruto had a very large weakness other than ramen. And that was an angry female. He had no idea why but when a girl got angry with him, then all thoughts of fighting back seemed to leave his head completely, and he became both slower and weaker in their presence. It was for this reason he was suffering from a very bad and literal case of blue balls, as soon after his incredible attack which he liked to perform now and then in homage to his late teacher, Soi-fon and turned and glared at him before making her move. And despite the fact he should have been more than fast enough to dodge, get out the way; or even swap himself with a clone, Naruto failed to do anything about Soi-fon's assault except scream as her hand latched on to a very sensitive space, squeezed down hard and twisted. She wasn't done though, as next she plunged Suzumebachi deep into his chest creating a hole that was ironically symmetrical to his hollow hole. Once he'd finish screaming about that too he'd been able to kick her away and force her to release his precious body parts before quickly diving to the ground to avoid her next attack, a powerful blow that no doubt would have taken of his head. Huffing and puffing he'd then focused on regenerating his chest where his new hole was, as well as regenerating his family jewels, an experience that he had no wish to ever have to do again.

"Stay still so I can kill you!" barked Soi-fon, shooting at him again. Her arm came in a wide arc, and Naruto bent over backwards as it sailed overhead.

"Staying still does not sound like a good health plan," Naruto rebuked with a hint of fear in his voice as he watched her sail on by.

Both Naruto and Soi-fon spun to face the other, and Naruto soon found himself dodging and weaving around a plethora of attacks, gaining quit a few nicks as he went. Naruto made to jump over her and land a kick to the back of her shoulder and sent Soi-fon crashing to the ground.

"You know usually I like the feisty ones. But to be honest this is a little ridiculous."

It was then he noticed an abundance of Butterfly tattoo's covering his body. Luckily none of them were crossing over any of the others, but really all that was needed was one more attack and there was little chance it wouldn't be a deadly one.

Naruto's head quickly snapped up as he heard a growl. He watched as the petite captain he was fighting slowly pushed herself back up onto her legs. There was an odd creaking sound in her arms as she did so too.

"A creature like you, who has no sense of honour or values. A creature like you just needs to die!" she spat at him as she levelled him with a glare.

Naruto inwardly flinched at her words, but none the less raised an eyebrow.

"Honour and values? I thought you were like a ninja or something."

His only response was another growl from the enraged captain.

"As soon as I get my desk down from the ceiling and I get about to redecorating I'm going to mount your head in my office, just as soon as I cut the thing off."

Naruto flashed her a grin, before taking a new pose, balancing on one leg, and crossing the other behind it, crossing his arms but placing one hand on his chin.

"Find me good looking do ya? Want to look upon my face every single day? Well don't worry you wouldn't be the first. Yes indeed it can sometimes be a curse to be this good looking. I never did quite understand what Sasuke had against fangirls. But alas I too eventually fell under their curse. But do not worry little bee, I won't condone you for it. Alas I fear it may simply be impossible for the fairer sex to not find me so incredibly attractive."

He didn't get chance to say anymore, as Soi-fon pushed off with a roar of anger, blazing a white trail through the air as she closed in on him. Naruto quickly substituted himself with a clone in the crowd, sending a silent plea of thanks to the clone as it dispelled after Soi-fon rammed her fist through its neck.

"Now, now let's all calm down. If you carry on waving that thing around you're going to poke someone's eye out."

Naruto was very relieved he'd managed to get himself back under control. Any longer and he might have died. Speaking of…

Naruto quickly dived to the side, just in time to avoid a massive blade that crashed into the stage where he'd just been standing. He hit the ground in a roll and quickly stood back up.

Looking behind him he found a very much enraged captain Komamura. He may have been wearing a helmet, but the anger coming of him was so palpable that everyone in the crowd could feel it.

"YOU!" he shouted before swinging his Zanpakuto again, causing a ghostly apparition of a giant arm holding a sword appeared and sped towards Naruto.

"Me?" said Naruto with confusion in his voice, before jumping to the side to avoid the massive ghostly sword.

"HOLY COW, WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!"

Komamura seemed to ignore him though.

"You vile monster. I will not excuse your actions!" roared Komamura as he swung again, Naruto once more dodging to the side as another ghostly appendage tore into the stadium where he'd just been standing.

"What the hell did I do?" Naruto asked, once again avoiding imminent death. He noticed Soi-fon seemed to be struggling to stand now. That super white mode thing she did must have taken a toll on her.

"You know very well what you did!" Komamura roared out. "You shaved all my…"

Suddenly becoming aware of what he was going to say Komamura stopped, just as everyone else keyed into to what he said.

"Did he shave all your hair off Captain Komamura?" asked Hitsugaya as he walked up beside the captain. The older captain just growled.

"It doesn't matter, what does is we bring this vile monster to justice."

Hitsugaya frowned. He didn't like the hollow but he could see it wasn't a monster. Just really annoying.

"Right, but remember that his capture takes priority. Killing him is a last resort." Hitsugaya said back with a tone of warning in his voice.

Komamura just grumbled something inaudible before nodding.

"Very well then. Let's get to it. This hollow isn't going to capture itself."

* * *

Ichigo was enjoying dinner when Rukia's hollow alarm went off.

"Haven't they turned that off yet?" he asked between mouthfuls of his rice. Rukia herself was giving the mobile phone a thoughtful look.

"I thought they did. I haven't received any other notifications of hollow activity at all this week. This is strange."

"Yes indeed it is," said Urahara seemingly popping up from under the table. "I'll look into it for you. In the mean-time why don't you two go take care of that?"

Urahara was so caught up in his pop up he only just now noticed the strange looks that Ichigo and Rukia were giving him.

"What?"

"What were you doing under the table," asked Ichigo threateningly. Although the bit of rice on his face severely diminished how threatening the boy's glare looked.

"Oh, I was just scouting," replied Urahara cheerfully.

"Scouting," asked Rukia, with a raised eyebrow and doing her best to hold back her fury. "And what exactly where you scouting, because I swear if you were trying to peak up my skirt I'm going to take what makes you a male and put it through a meat grinder."

Urahara visibly paled although the smile never left his face.

"Oh no, no, no I would never do that. Why I'm just a simple candy store owner, I would never intrude on your decency like that. Just what do you take me for?"

"A pervert," the two answered automatically. "So what were you doing then?"

"Ah I was just waiting for you two young lovers to lock lips so I could capture the magical moment on camera," answered Urahara honestly, slipping his hand up his sleeve and taking a camera out. "But now it seems like we don't have time. That hollows already been left to rampage for a full minute. You two should really get on that."

Ichigo levelled Urahara with a glare.

"We're not like that you perv, and this isn't over."

With that Ichigo quickly got up, followed swiftly by Rukia.

"Alright Ichigo, let's go and take care of this."

With that the two quickly left.

Not even five minutes later the two arrived at an open field where the hollow was supposed to have appeared.

It didn't take them long to spot it. The hollow was massive and covered in fur. A giant blade was slung over its back. But the most curious thing was the pair of eyes that peeked out from within the mask. It soon spotted them.

"Ichigo Kurosaki, at last" the huge hollow seemed to hiss. "Stay right there so I can slaughter you."

The pair watched as the huge hollow threw a hand over its back, and withdrew the skyscraper sized sword.

"Do I know you?" asked Ichigo curiously.

"Oh how you wound me," the creature laughed, dropping his arm to the side, and allowing his sword to cut deep into the land. "Why not too long ago you were screaming about how you were going to kill me and avenge your dear dead mother."

Ichigo's eyes widened.

"Grand fisher," Ichigo spoke. "But how."

"Hmm, foolish human. I'll tell you how. I have transcended the limits of hollow kind and took a step into the realm of the soul reapers."

With this the massive creature held it's sword out before them.

"Gaze upon my Zanpakuto and know fear puny mortal. One's Zanpakuto can be used to measure their spiritual energy. The size of my blade alone should tell you that you are no match for me."

Ichigo turned to Rukia for confirmation. To his relief she shook her head.

"Although what he said is true, most captains refine their Zanpakuto to a more manageable size. The reason that your Zanpakuto broke against my brother and Naruto is that you didn't do this. By shrinking the blade the spirit particles become more compact and the blade itself more powerful. If that truly is a Zanpakuto then it will most likely be rather brittle."

That cheered Ichigo up some.

"Alright fish face, let's do this," roared Ichigo, removing Zangetsu from his back and holding it out in front of him. Slowly the bindings came off the blade and Ichigo's spiritual pressure was released. Grand fisher's eyes widened in surprise as the spiritual pressure reached its peak and he was forced to take a few steps back.

"Im-impressive Kurosaki. But with such a tiny blade you will never beat me!"

With that Grand fisher let out a roar before bringing its massive blade down directly on top of Ichigo's head. In response Ichigo simply moved his own blade so it was directly over his head. The two blades met with a resounding clang and grand fissure's blade stopped in its tracks.

"Hmph, how foolish," Rukia commented from off to the side. "To underestimate his opponent so thoroughly. How foolish this hollow is. Go now, Ichigo. Avenge your mother."

Ichigo let an uncharacteristically blood-thirsty grin cross his face.

"Right."

Head Captain Yamamoto could honestly say he'd never been more surprised than in that moment. It was supposed to be impossible. Not even by an act of god should the sight before him have ever been made a reality. But no, it had actually happened. Naruto Uzumaki had actually been captured, and was sitting in front of him, hands and feet in cuffs and a cloth in his mouth.

"Report," the old captain barked. To no one's surprise Komamaura stepped forward.

"Head captain, Naruto Uzumaki has been successfully captured. He was originally engaged in combat with Captain Hitsugaya and Captain Soi-fon, with myself later joining in on the battle. However despite this we had no luck in his apprehending. However soon after Captain Unohana here arrived. Uzumaki surrendered the second she joined the battle.

Yamamoto almost allowed himself to let out a sigh. Of course he wouldn't just be captured, he had allowed himself to be captured. For a moment there he'd thought the universe had broken apart, or the fabrics of reality had splintered, or something similarly apocalyptic.

"Very well then. If that is all."

But surprisingly Soi-fon stepped forward.

"Head Captain I request permission to kill the captive."

"Denied," replied Yamamoto automatically.

Soi-fon cursed under her breath. But then perked up.

"Head captain, I request permission to inflict a grievous wound on the captive."

"Denied," repeated Yamamoto, followed by another muffled curse from Soi-fon.

"Then how about permission to kick him really hard in the face?"

Yamamoto was about to say denied again before he thought about it. 'Best to let whatever's getting to her out of her system' he thought.

"Granted," he said.

And just like that a bright smile, an actual bright smile of all things, appeared on Soi-fon's face and without another word she spun on her feel and smashed her foot into the gagged Naruto's face. There was a burst of blood as Naruto's nose caved in before the hollow was sent flying back down to the other end of the Captain's hall and smashed into the wall with a thud.

"Ah, that felt good," said Soi-fon. Yamamoto just shook his head. Apparently the young looking hollow had driven one of his most serious and disciplined captain's insane.

"Hey hang on a sec."

And just like that Naruto appeared in the middle of the captains, still cuffed but without the gag.

"Something wrong here. It's like the arrogant prick factor has been reduced by about forty percent since the last time I was here. Hey wait a second where's Byakuya go?"

Looking around every single captain was present except the aforementioned captain.

"The spiritual pressure of the human believed to be Ichigo Kurosaki was picked up earlier," answered Yamamoto, surprising most captains that he was even answering at all. "Another minor pressure was picked up alongside him, along with one which belongs to a hollow. We believe that the minor pressure to be Rukia Kuchiki. As such Captain Byakuya has left to retrieve his wayward sister."

Naruto's eyes widened.

"God damn it, now I've got to go save them. Well thanks for telling me grandpa. I'll see you guy's later, okay."

And before anyone could react a black hole appeared next to Naruto and he'd jumped inside it, the whole closing up straight after.

The whole room lapsed into silence.

"How strange," said Kurotsuchi. "I was under the impression that a gargantuan could not be opened within the confines of the sereitei. Ho, that hollow will prove to be a most interesting research subject indeed."

The captain then left, leaving the other captains to their silence. Eventually it was Zaraki who summed up what they were all thinking.

"So if he can do that every time we capture him, then how the hell do we capture him?"

* * *

The great hulking figure of Grand fisher soon found itself on its backside as he tried to block another swing from Ichigo. Only this one cleaved right through his sword and left a deep gash running vertically down the left side of his body.

"Damn, damn you Kurosaki. How could you possibly be so strong? It doesn't make sense. It hasn't even been a month since our last fight, so how are you so strong?"

Ichigo heaved his sword onto his shoulder and gave the Grand fisher a cocky smirk.

"You shouldn't worry about that," he told the Grand Fissure. "Rather, you should worry about what I'm going to do to you now that I've cut that giant piece of tinfoil you called a blade down to size. I think it's time I showed you just how strong I really am."

Never losing his cocky smirk Ichigo held his blade high above his head, revelling in the feeling of his energy which was now visible and coiling around him, being soaked up into his blade.

"Wha-what are you doing," gasped the Grand Fisher, unconsciously taking a step back from where Ichigo stood.

"I'm doing what I should have done months ago. I'M ENDING YOU! GETSUGA TENSHO!"

With his mighty war cry Ichigo brought his blade down a blue stream of energy erupted in front of him. It travelled its distance fast, barely giving the Grand Fisher time to scream before the energy consumed him. There was a massive explosion of light that seemed to erupt upon contact with the hollow, kicking up a mass amount of dust and dirt, blinding everyone to the hollow's demise.

Ichigo stood with his blade held out at the ready just in case Grand-fisher had somehow managed to survive. A moment passed in silence, with nothing happening. A moment later Ichigo gave a sigh of relief, heaving his blade onto his shoulder and allowing a smile to appear on his face.

"DIE!"

Ichigo jumped back, trying to bring his sword back to the front as the scared and heavily damaged form of Grand-fisher emerged from the dust, his entire right side burnt black, and his whole right arm missing. Ichigo's managed to avoid the Grand-fisher's lunge and brought his sword to bare, pointing the sword at the Fisher.

Ichigo tensed as the Grand-fisher prepared to lunge once more. But just as he was about to swing his blade the Grand-fisher stopped, eyes bulging. Before Ichigo could react, the Grand-fisher erupted into waves of blood, spraying from numerous lacerations that seemed to just appear on him. Before Ichigo's eyes the Fisher began to disintegrate, revealing the distinct figure of Byakuya Kuchiki standing behind him, giving Ichigo a cold look.

"Big brother," Rukia whispered, her eyes wide at his appearance.

Ichigo returned the glare.

"Damn you Byakuya, that Hollow was mine to kill," snarled Ichigo.

Byakuya didn't really respond, instead simply continued to walk slowly towards them. Once he was just a few feet away he spoke.

"I care little for your words Ichigo Kurosaki," the noble captain relied. "However as I will most likely end your life in but a few moments I will allow you you're last piece. Speak quickly."

Ichigo just growled, gripping his sword tightly as he prepared to wipe the smug look from BYakuya's face.

"Big brother," shouted Rukia, suddenly appearing between the two males, with her arms spread wide as if to cover for Ichigo. "Please, you have to listen. This entire matter has been-,

"Enough Rukia," Byakuya said, not taking his eyes away from Ichigo. "You have caused enough trouble. Whatever it is you have to say, it can wait until we return to soul society. In the meantime, I have to put down a stray dog."

As if to confirm the statement Ichigo growled low in his throat.

"What-ever Byakuya. You won't be killing me today, and you won't be taking Rukia anywhere."

With that, Ichigo disappeared into a flash step, appearing next to Byakuya and swinging his blade heavily at his neck. Byakuya simply held his own blade out, stopping Ichigo's blow in its tracks.

"You have gotten better Kurosaki, but you are still a far cry from attaining the prowess of a captain."

BYakuya seemed to flick his wrist and Ichigo was sent hurtling backwards. Quickly he dug his feet into the floor, leaving deep gouges in the tarmac as he slowed himself down.

"Don't underestimate me Byakuya, I'm a lot stronger now compared to the last time we fought."

Ichigo held his hand up over his head and began to concentrate his energy into his blade. Soon he seemed to be glowing with bright Reiatsu, and Ichigo was satisfied to see Byakuya's eyes widen by the tiniest of margins.

"I'll show you what I can really do Byakuya," said Ichigo, with a fiery determination. "Getsuga Tensho!"

Just like last time a blind arm of blight light exploded from Ichigo's blade as he swung it, hurtling at incredible speed towards Byakuya who seemed to disappear into the debilitating light.

Ichigo panted heavily, having let of a second large blast so soon after the first. But quickly his danger senses seemed to warn him that something was wrong. He brought up his sword to his right quickly just as Byakuya appeared, no worse for wear and thrusting his sword towards Ichigo's neck. The two blades met with a clang, and Ichigo was hard-pressed to offset the force behind Byakuya's blow.

"I am not underestimating you," Byakuya told him dryly. "I acknowledge that your strength has increased drastically in a short time. However it is still at the level of a third seat at most. In time perhaps you could have reached a captains level. However any potential that you may have, I'm going to have to snuff it out here."

And with that Byakuya's arm seemed to disappear into a second swing, Ichigo just barely moving his sword in time to counter it. Quickly he had to move again as Byakuya's sword moved in an overhead arc, aiming to cut Ichigo straight down the middle. Zangetsu barely made it in time to block the blow, and even then Ichigo found it difficult to hold back the blade.

"Do you see now the difference between us?" asked Byakuya in an uncaring tone. "I have not even released my Zanpakuto yet you are already struggling to keep up when your own is already in its Shikai state. You have no chance against me boy."

Ichigo gritted his teeth, determined not to lose, even as Rukia ran close to them.

"Brother, please stop this," she called out. "Please you have to listen to us!"

Byakuya didn't spare his sister a second glance as he swung his sword once more in order to parry Ichigo's counter attack. He raised an eyebrow when he registered the power behind the blow.

"Alright let's go!" Ichigo yelled, before he spun on his heel and held his sword out, swinging it back around and using the motion of his spin to add more force to the blow. Byakuya quickly blocked but was surprised when he was actually forced back. He quickly raised his sword again to block another attack by Ichigo who seemed to revitalize as soon as Rukia came near. Byakuya swung his blade at the same time as Ichigo, causing the two to clang loudly. A split-second later the two jumped apart.

"Okay Byakuya, A.K.A the worst brother ever. I think it's about time I laid down some famiy therapy lessons for you. Lesson number one. When your little sister begs you to listen to her, you FREAKIN LISTEN!"

Having said that Ichigo shot forward, slamming his blade into Byakuya's with enough force to actually drive him back.

"Lesson number two," continued Ichigo. "An older brother protects their younger siblings. It's their duty. So when Rukia is in trouble then it's your job to preotect her!"

Ichigo swipped his sword, seemingly flickering Byakuya off.

"Final lesson!" roared Ichigo as he closed in on Byakuya. "Older siblings never try to hurt their younger ones. Especially not in FRONT OF ME!"

Once again Ichigo swung his sword down towards Byakuya, only this time his sword was glowing a bright blue.

"GETSUGA TENSHO!"

"Hado four, Byakurai."

Before the wave of blue energy could erupt from Ichigo's sword a beam of blue energy left Byakuya's finger, quickly piercing straight through Ichigo's chest just above his heart. Ichigo's eyes widened as he could feel the blood rushing up his throat. Suddenly his legs felt like giving out and his attack shot of course, just missing Byakuya who had made no attempt to avoid it.

"That was impressive Kurosaki. But your words are meaningless. I am of noble birth, so I won't expect you to understand my actions. Now please desist from struggling, so you may die with what dignity you have left."

Ichigo tried to answer, but blood quickly clogged his throat, and he quickly put a hand to his mouth just as it rushed out, the red liquid seeping through his fingers. He plunged the tip of Zangetsu into the ground to use as support and levelled a glare at Byakuya.

"Brother please you have to listen," Rukias begged, trying once more to appeal to her older brother. "Things aren't what they seem. Please just hear us out!"

Byakuya sighed and closed his eyes.

"There is no need. The hollow that saved you last time has already pleaded your case to the head captain. But there is no proof of anything, and the words of a hollow and a criminal mean very little in the face of things. Simply give up Rukia. Do not sully yourself any further with this shameful act."

Byakuya raised his sword, levelling it with Ichigo's face.

"I will first kill this mongrel, and then we will return to soul society. I assure you I will be much more thorough than last time."

Ichigo hacked coughing up the last of the blood before straightening his back and doing his best to stand up straight.

"If you expect me to just roll over and die for you Byakuya then you're going to be disappointed. I haven't lost yet, and you're not taking Rukia anywhere," Ichigo bit back through blood stained teeth.

"I won't fall here. I'll protect her with my life. And I won't lose to the likes OF YOU!"

With a final roar Ichigo pushed off, Sword coming to the for-front and swiping down fast and hard. Byakuya put his own sword forward, both hands on the hilt. But even so he was pushed backwards the second Ichigo slammed into him. He tried to dig his heels in the ground, push against Ichigo's momentum but it did him no good.

'His spiritual pressure is rising,' Byakuya noted to himself, before suddenly giving up his attempt to struggle against the juggernaut that Ichigo had seemingly become. His feet skimmed the ground the then he was gone, leaving Ichigo to stumble forwards. Ichigo quickly wiped his head around doing his best to try and locate Byakuya before finally spotting him a short distance off.

"Flash step, or Shunpo as some call it. The ability to cover a distance with a single step. It is ability's like this, aswell as the art of Kido and the elegance of my sword play that make up the true difference between us. Even if you somehow were to surpass me in power, you could never defeat me, Kurosaki."

And then Byakuya was behind him. Ichigo was able to follow his movements, but he barely had any time to move. Byakuya's blade cut through his shoulder like butter. And an instant later it was plunging towards him again. But suddenly Byakuya was gone, just in time to avoid a burning blue arrow made entirely of energy.

Ichigo quickly looked in the direction of the arrows origin and spotted Ishida Uryuu adjusting the glasses on his nose.

"You are far too presumptuous shinigami. Did you honestly think that Ichigo would be the only resistance you would encounter?"

Byakuya found himself having to move once again as a beam of energy burnt through the space he'd just been standing.

"Ichigo, are you okay?" asked Orihime as she hurried over, her face scrunched up with worry as she noticed the various wounds he'd amassed. Chad was following slowly behind her, his fist cocked back as if getting ready to deliver another attack. He nodded slowly in Ichigo's direction.

"It would seem there are a few of you. I hate to use the metaphor but it's like you are crawling through the woodwork like roaches. But in the end this doesn't change anything. It simply means that more of you will pointlessly lose your lives," Byakuya stated calmly.

"Oh no they won't," stated a cheerful voice, and Byakuya was once again forced to move as the ground where he'd been standing exploded. Once the dust cleared the group was able to make out the smiling face of Naruto, who was smiling around at the group. "Hi guys, it's been a while."

"Hey you're…" stated Orihime as she saw Naruto.

"The yellow flash the punched through that hollow," finished Chad.

Naruto grinned to himself when Chad unknowingly referred to him by his father's old moniker.

"Naruto Uzuamaki, the prankster god of huecco mundo and the friendly neigherhood saviour of damsels in distress. Which in this case really means Ichigo more than anyone else," the blond said with a bow.

"Hey, who you calling a damsel," Ichigo bellowed.

"Oh shush," Naruto said, waving Ichigo off. "You're not my type so don't get your knickers in a twist. Anywhere Byakuya do you really still want to fight? Because believe me I won't be holding back this time."

Byakuya stared at the hollow for a moment before closing his eyes in thought.

"It seems the situation has become unfavourable. I will retreat for now."

As he said this a Sekaimon opened up behind him.

"You should prepare yourselves well. The soul society will not take this lying down. From now on, we will be much more persistent in our retrieval attempts. And Naruto, I just want you to known those were not my undergarments you replaced with lingerie. I predicted your actions and swapped drawers with my father."

And like that he was gone, through the Sekaimon before anyone could react. Completely oblivious to a grinning Naruto.

"I know, that's why I went the extra mile. Only your dad got just lingerie. Everyone else got Orange bra and panties just to make sure."

**Omake**

"So this is Naruto," said a cheerful Masaki, pointing her long-time friend out to her husband.

"Erm, I can't see spirits anymore, remember," he said, but still looking in the direction she was pointing.

"Oh right. Erm, wait here a sec okay."

She quickly ran off, leaving Isshin to stand there awkwardly by himself. After a few moments he decided to speak.

"Soooo, how long have you known my wife?"

"…"

"Right, a while then. Well by mortal standards," said Isshin, guessing the answer if there even was one.

"So then how-"

"I'm back," cried Masaki cheerfully.

Isshin was about to ask where she went when he found himself having to dodge out the way of a large glob of orange paint.

"What the-," he started but soon stopped when he noticed that the paint had formed into the body of a man. The lips started moving but no sound came out, leaving Isshin to stand there looking confused.

"One last touch," said Masaki before she slapped a piece of paper on the orange man's head.

"Ah great, you should be able to hear me now," said Naruto looking at Isshin. "And Orange, my favourite colour! I bet I look rather dashing in Orange. I'm pretty sure I used to wear it a lot back when I was alive. I could be wrong though. It might have been green. I remember someone wore a lot of green. Can't quite remember who though? Shikamru? Naw it would have made him stand out? Maybe Ino then? Hmm."

"Right so one more time," said Masaki. "This is my long-time friend Naruto. And Naruto this is my husband, Ishhin," she said pointing to Isshin. Then she pointed to a slight bulge in her stomach. "And this is bump."

"Nice ta meet ya Isshi," said Naruto. "And woah Masaki are you pregnant? How did that happen?"

"Well Isshin can explain the last half of the process better than me since he's like a doctor and stuff, but the first part started off with Isshin getting rather gropey one night when we were in bed. And then he started stroking my back. It's kind of a weak point. And then there was a bit of smooching and a good bit of heavy petting too. God he was making me purr. And after that we-,"

"Okay I think that's enough Masaki," stated Isshin covering her mouth with his hand. Never did he think he would have to play the adult, yet here he was.

"Yeah I get the general idea. Next time you should add something to make it a bit steamier. Like Ramen. Ramen can make anything better, especially Sex," said Naruto nodding his head sagely.

"Oh, I didn't think you could even have sex," stated Masaki. Naruto's reply was a shrug.

"The mood hasn't struck me in the last two thousand years, but who knowns. If I meet the right person I'm pretty sure little 'Ruto would be willing to play."

Isshin was starting to get freaked out with the topic of conversation. So he decided to change it.

"So I heard from Masaki that you're something of a prankster. You got anything lined up for us?"

Suddenly Naruto's mouth took on a mischievous grin.

"You bet I do. You know Masaki It's a shame you're Aunt moved. This would have been the perfect thing to spring on her."

"I think you scared her off," said Masaki with a giggle.

"Yeah well tonight my friends, we will be pranking the local shopping mall. So keep your eyes peeled, your arms at the ready and your panties on yer butt, because a lot of people certainly won't be."

And with that he marched the two of them off.

A little while later, the two waved Naruto off as he disappeared into a Gargantua.

"See told you he was fun," said Masaki having really enjoyed herself.

Isshin allowed himself a chuckle.

"I'll admit he was a good laugh. You're rather open with him though. I'll admit it made me rather jealous."

Masaki gave a giggle before reaching up on her tip toes and giving him a peck on the lips.

"Don't be jealous silly. He's more liked a big brother than anything else. Besides that you're the one who gets to ravish me all night long."

"Mmm," said Isshin, licking his lips and giving her a lusty look. "And speaking off ravishing, Ramen in the bedroom? Want to give it a try."

Masaki gave a giggle.

"How about we try something that's not so messy first. Like whipped cream and Strawberries. Hey I think I just came up with the perfect name for the baby!"

**Just a short Omake at the end there. Sadly this is the last we will be seeing of Masaki for a while. However the Omake's themselves shall continue. **

**The bit where Soi-fon was requesting Permission to hurt Naruto was something I saw in a Naruto fic called the lazy Uchiha. It's about a different Itachi who stayed in the village and would often request permission to kill, maim, punch really hard in the face or tell bad jokes about people who annoyed him. Of course I did twist it a bit here. I'm not going to simply copy someone. And now for the Poll results!**

**Yoruichi- 394**

**Nelliel- 355**

**Harribel- 303**

**Soi-fon- 197**

**Rangiku- 98**

**Orihime- 96**

**No Pairing- 79**

**Nemu- 62**

**Hiyori- 47**

**Momo- 47**

**Cirucci- 22**

**As You can see The top three are pretty much far out in front. But the poll won't close untill chapter 15. So you still have a while. I know that for some of you your pairing may seem hopeless but if enough of you vote we may just yet see a turn around.**

**Other than that I want to thank everyone. Even though It's been months since I updated I've still taken a great amount of delight in reading almost daily reviews. I thought they would trickle to a halt. But they didn't! And I cannot thank you enough for the support you have all shown. I will do my best to get the next one out quickly but I hope you understand I am stretched pretty fin and right now the only time I really get is on Wednesdays. Well that's all from me. **


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